[✐ guest writing] how not to win modestly
Below is a record, as written by my brother (with some, ah, embellishments), of how he defeated me in a truly incredible two turns of dragon summoning in Yugioh. It starts with my dialogue and hopefully can roughly be followed from there.
"Black Rose Dragon attacks your face down monster! Black Rose Flare!"
"Once per turn, Dark Resonator cannot be destroyed by battle."
"Hmph. You're lucky. I end my turn."
"This is it! It's my turn!!!!
"I activate the spell card, Grand Trunade! All spells and traps are returned to their owner's hands! Then I reactivate the spell card, Burden of the Mighty, causing your monsters to lose attack points equal to 100 times their level."
"Hmph."
"Next, by discarding Marauding Captain from my hand, I activate the spell card, One for One! I special summon Flamvell Guard from my deck!
"By removing a dragon type monster I control from the game, I can special summon this card from my hand! Appear now, Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon! I activate Red-Eye's effect! Once per turn I can special summon one dragon type monster from my hand or graveyard.
"Return to me, My Very Soul, RED DEMON'S DRAGON!"
"Roar."
"Finally I normal summon the tuner monster from my hand, Sinister Sprocket!
"I'm double tuning my level 1 sinister Sprocket to my level 3 Dark Resonator to my level 8 Red Demon's Dragon!"
"NANIIIIIIII!"
"The Ruler and the devil become as one, something something something! My Burning Soul, Scar Red Nova Dragon!"
"Roar!"
"My god."
"Scar Red Nova Dragon's monster effect activates! It gains attack points equal to the number of tuner monsters in my graveyard. I have five tuners in my graveyard, so his attack points become 6000!"
"What 6000?!"
"Battle! Scar Red Nova Dragon attacks Black Rose Dragon! BURNING SOUL!"
"meep." *shatter*
"YAAAAAA?"
"Red-Eyes Darkness metal Dragon attacks your face down monster!"
*poof*
"I end my turn."
"I am so screwed. It's my turn."
Blink. blink. blink.
"I set one card face down and end my turn."
"Hrm. It's my tuuuuuuurn!
"Red-Eye's darkness metal Dragon's monster effect! I special summon my very soul from the grave! Be revived! Red Demon's Dragon!"
"That's overkill."
"That's what you think. Scar Red Nova Dragon attacks you directly, BURNING SOUL!"
"Trap open! Scrap Iron Scarecrow~"
"This is more appropriate anyway. You're finished."
"Oh no!"
"Oh yes. Red Demon's Dragon attacks you directly! ABSOLUTE POWER FOOOOORCE!!!"
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeep booop*
"Black Rose Dragon attacks your face down monster! Black Rose Flare!"
"Once per turn, Dark Resonator cannot be destroyed by battle."
"Hmph. You're lucky. I end my turn."
"This is it! It's my turn!!!!
"I activate the spell card, Grand Trunade! All spells and traps are returned to their owner's hands! Then I reactivate the spell card, Burden of the Mighty, causing your monsters to lose attack points equal to 100 times their level."
"Hmph."
"Next, by discarding Marauding Captain from my hand, I activate the spell card, One for One! I special summon Flamvell Guard from my deck!
"By removing a dragon type monster I control from the game, I can special summon this card from my hand! Appear now, Red-Eyes Darkness Metal Dragon! I activate Red-Eye's effect! Once per turn I can special summon one dragon type monster from my hand or graveyard.
"Return to me, My Very Soul, RED DEMON'S DRAGON!"
"Roar."
"Finally I normal summon the tuner monster from my hand, Sinister Sprocket!
"I'm double tuning my level 1 sinister Sprocket to my level 3 Dark Resonator to my level 8 Red Demon's Dragon!"
"NANIIIIIIII!"
"The Ruler and the devil become as one, something something something! My Burning Soul, Scar Red Nova Dragon!"
"Roar!"
"My god."
"Scar Red Nova Dragon's monster effect activates! It gains attack points equal to the number of tuner monsters in my graveyard. I have five tuners in my graveyard, so his attack points become 6000!"
"What 6000?!"
"Battle! Scar Red Nova Dragon attacks Black Rose Dragon! BURNING SOUL!"
"meep." *shatter*
"YAAAAAA?"
"Red-Eyes Darkness metal Dragon attacks your face down monster!"
*poof*
"I end my turn."
"I am so screwed. It's my turn."
Blink. blink. blink.
"I set one card face down and end my turn."
"Hrm. It's my tuuuuuuurn!
"Red-Eye's darkness metal Dragon's monster effect! I special summon my very soul from the grave! Be revived! Red Demon's Dragon!"
"That's overkill."
"That's what you think. Scar Red Nova Dragon attacks you directly, BURNING SOUL!"
"Trap open! Scrap Iron Scarecrow~"
"This is more appropriate anyway. You're finished."
"Oh no!"
"Oh yes. Red Demon's Dragon attacks you directly! ABSOLUTE POWER FOOOOORCE!!!"
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeep booop*