(no subject)
man i just saw amys update and im so happy that you guys would think to pray that this trip be fruitful. cause man. i feel so crappy.
i wanted to come to new york my entire childhood because i love city life and i just feel miserable being here. i got some cool pictures but i feel so out of place. it just seems like there are so few born again people in this world even among all the professing christians its like we have nothing in common. its so hard for me to even communicate with my family because they are so in love with the world.
im not innocent either, im not saying i am in a class of my own that is so unlike this world. i noticed myself longing for fashionable clothing and all the accessories that would make me like the new york crowd. and i got a few things that satisfied for a little while. but then i walk outside the shops and see three homeless men sleeping on benches. homeless men aside i see people everywhere desperate for God. i hate this. i dont know what im supposed to be doing, i want to preach, or pray, or talk to them or feed them or take them to my hotel so they can bathe. something.
but im heartless and afraid so i keep walking, as if i didnt have $200 in my purse or the Holy Spirit to protect me. i just wish i was here alone or with some other christians. this place is so overwhelming tho. maybe because its gay pride month or because we are in the middle of times square where people spend money lavishly but its so Godless and worldly i can hardly stand it. i need God time but no one will leave me alone. i need God so much its driving me up the wall. lucky for me my mom lost her camera so i am alone while she is out calling people about it. please pray. i want more than anything to serve God out of my overflow of joy in Him.
i wanted to come to new york my entire childhood because i love city life and i just feel miserable being here. i got some cool pictures but i feel so out of place. it just seems like there are so few born again people in this world even among all the professing christians its like we have nothing in common. its so hard for me to even communicate with my family because they are so in love with the world.
im not innocent either, im not saying i am in a class of my own that is so unlike this world. i noticed myself longing for fashionable clothing and all the accessories that would make me like the new york crowd. and i got a few things that satisfied for a little while. but then i walk outside the shops and see three homeless men sleeping on benches. homeless men aside i see people everywhere desperate for God. i hate this. i dont know what im supposed to be doing, i want to preach, or pray, or talk to them or feed them or take them to my hotel so they can bathe. something.
but im heartless and afraid so i keep walking, as if i didnt have $200 in my purse or the Holy Spirit to protect me. i just wish i was here alone or with some other christians. this place is so overwhelming tho. maybe because its gay pride month or because we are in the middle of times square where people spend money lavishly but its so Godless and worldly i can hardly stand it. i need God time but no one will leave me alone. i need God so much its driving me up the wall. lucky for me my mom lost her camera so i am alone while she is out calling people about it. please pray. i want more than anything to serve God out of my overflow of joy in Him.