you won't wanna read this
Ever have aday where everyhting you think about or say draws your mind to that one painful thing that bothers you ... The thing is that one painful thing isn't all that painful ... It's in a way a good thing. Well... in many ways it's a good thing... I can't wait till I move ... mabey i'll stop thinking aobut it ... about everyhting here that hurts me my "friends" ( by that i don't mean my real friends i mean the fake ones) my family , people i dont know, people i do , people i jsut want to forget.but then agian that's jsut running away form my problems. It seems better than confronting them... Confronting them never turns out right ... i always lose something important. Most of the time my self esteeme(I'll never be able to fucking spell). I brag a lot aobut the weight i lost ... or my grades ... but the truth is saying it amkes me ahppier the more i say it th better i feel aobut myself ... i didn't do anyhitng to lose weight it jsut happened ... i still see myeslf as jsut as ugly as i did before ... sometimes uglier... and I'm not that smart ... I jsut have easy classes ... infact there are freshmen in my math class way smarter than I am. And i hate that everyone think's i'm sooooo smart cuz i get to graduate a year early ... the thing is all you ahve to do is pass with a 2.0 ...
I know a guy who won't let me touch him becasue I'm gay I am forced to talk to him every day and jsut take his rude comments about how horrible it is for me to be the way i am I try to be nice to him and pretend it doesen't hurt ya know laugh it off ... pretend everyhtings ok ... I snap sometimes ... people say stuff to him ... but no one ever does anyhting aobut it .. it's awasy "stop being a jerk" and then they move on ...
Is it wrng for me to be botherd by alwasy hearing aobuttwo of my friends male counterparts... I feel guilty that it bohters me so i dont say anyhting ... but it only makes me feel worse when i blow up aobut it... i dont know ... i din't mean for this to be a rant... It's jsut all that thinking i do
the end
I know a guy who won't let me touch him becasue I'm gay I am forced to talk to him every day and jsut take his rude comments about how horrible it is for me to be the way i am I try to be nice to him and pretend it doesen't hurt ya know laugh it off ... pretend everyhtings ok ... I snap sometimes ... people say stuff to him ... but no one ever does anyhting aobut it .. it's awasy "stop being a jerk" and then they move on ...
Is it wrng for me to be botherd by alwasy hearing aobuttwo of my friends male counterparts... I feel guilty that it bohters me so i dont say anyhting ... but it only makes me feel worse when i blow up aobut it... i dont know ... i din't mean for this to be a rant... It's jsut all that thinking i do
the end