Chapter 4- Anger, confusion, betrayal, angst.
The whole time at the barbeque everyone was happy. I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. I felt more and more comfortable around the boys as the night approached. I could see that Jess really did like Micky. And I felt bad for the things I had said about him before. I was really happy for my sister and Hero. They were now officially a couple. It happened really fast, but I was glad that she was happy with him. As for me and Max, things were pretty much the same.
With the boys it was non-stop jokes and laughs. They really seemed like a happy family, although they were just friends. They all went way back. Even Boa. They kept bringing up embarrassing moments about each other from the past. It was very entertaining but made me feel kind of out of place.
“Remember when Xiah and Boa first kissed, well almost kissed?” Micky asked grinning.
“Yeah!” U Know said laughing. “She leaned in to kiss him, and he ran away!”
Everyone was laughing now.
“How old were you guys anyways?” Micky asked.
“I think we were 9 right Xiah?” Boa asked smiling and hugging him.
I tuned out their jokes to look around at all the people here. I noticed a girl sitting on a bench near the shed. She looked like she was near my age. She was crying and clutching her knees.
“Hey Max, is she alright?” I asked nudging him.
“I’m not sure. Here, come with me.” He said grabbing my hand and leading me towards the girl.
He spoke to her in Korean so I had no idea what he was saying. But she nodded her head so I figured she was okay, although she didn’t look okay. She ran off into the house.
“Yeah she’s fine.” He said rubbing my back.
“She didn’t look fine to me.” I said worried.
“Are you having fun.”
“Of course, I always have fun when I’m with you.” I said smiling.
“Me too.” He said smiling back. “I’m gonna go get a drink, do you want anything?”
“No thanks.”
I walked over to the bench where the girl crying was once sitting. I wondered if she was really okay. She looked like a mess. I couldn’t help but feel bad for her.
Max was taking a really long time, so I decided to go look for him. I walked into the kitchen but he wasn’t there. I walked around the house hoping I wouldn’t get lost. Until I came to a room that looked like a living room. I turned the corner and got a glimpse of a make-out session. I was just about to run away but then I took a closer look and saw who it was. Max. And the girl who was crying.
My heart pounded and I started to cry. Max looked up just as I started to run away. He chased me all the way to the backyard. I grabbed my purse and jacket and ran back into the house and out the front door. He caught me at the end of the driveway.
“Sofia,” He said trying to catch his breath. “Please don’t go. Its not how it looks.”
“Oh yeah? Well it sure looked like you were making out with that girl. If you weren’t then what were you doing?!” I cried.
“Sof, I promise. Its not like that.” He said looking away.
“Whatever Max, I really thought you liked me. How stupid am I?! Thinking you actually liked me?! Please tell me I’m not insane! Tell me these past few days actually meant something to you.”
“It did, you did. You still do. I didn’t kiss her.”
“MAX! I saw you kiss her! I was standing right there!” I yelled.
I was furious! How could he lie to me?! I saw it with my own eyes!
“No, I mean she kissed me.” He said trying to calm me down.
He put his hands on my shoulders but I shook them off and started to walk away. He grabbed my hand and turned me back around. He held me close and whispered ‘I’m sorry’. It was tempting to tell him ‘Its okay, I forgive you. I love you.’ But I couldn’t. He kissed her. And I saw it.
I pushed him away and left. This time he didn’t come after me, he just watched me walk away. I was so mad I wanted to scream.
It was a long walk back to my house, so I decided to stop at a local park. I sat on a bench and broke down. I cried, and cried. I just couldn’t stop. I felt hurt, and betrayed, and angry. How could he do that to me? How could he kiss her, and then lie about it?!
My phone rang and I jumped. It was Jess.
“Sof! Where are you?” She panicked.
“I’m… at a park.” I said sniffling. “I’m fine I just need to be alone for a bit.”
“Are you okay? What happened?”
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.” I said. And the crying started again.
“I’m coming to get you. What park are you at?”
“Shannon Lake Park.” I said between breaths.
She hung up and was there in approximately 3 minutes. She ran up to me and hugged me. She didn’t say anything, she just comforted me while I cried. I wished it was Max who was hugging me. I didn’t want to be mad at him, I wished I hadn’t seen him kiss her. But I was too mad to go back there and make up.
“Are you going to tell me what happened? Or do you not want to talk about it?” She asked wiping away my tears.
“He kissed her. Jess, he kissed her! How could he do that to me?” I collapsed into her lap.
“Wait. He kissed who?” She asked confused.
“Did you see that girl crying in the corner?” I asked. “He went inside to get something to drink, and when he was taking to long I decided to go see what he was doing. I couldn’t find him at first but I kept looking. I walked into the living room and saw her on top of him. Jess, I feel so used! I feel betrayed and hurt! I don’t know what to do!” I started crying again.
“Oh my god. Sof, its gonna be okay.” She said petting my head.
The next fifteen minutes was spent crying, and Jess comforting me.
“Jess, what do I do? I want to go back there. I want to figure this out! I don’t want to be mad at him!”
“Look, give him a night to think this over. You guys will figure this out. For now just give him some time, he will realize its you he really likes. Just give it some time.”
She took me home and I plopped down on my bed. I felt drained. I felt like I couldn’t cry anymore. I had no more tears left to cry. I thought about what Max had said.
“I didn’t kiss her.” and “she kissed me.”
Was he telling the truth? I didn’t know if I could believe him now. I couldn’t get the picture of them kissing out of my head. I wanted to hit someone. Max, or that girl. I didn’t want to think about what happened. I didn’t want to think about him, ever again. I wanted to forget him. But I couldn’t.
“Forget Max, forget Max, forget Max. He doesn’t matter anymore. You don’t like him” I said to myself.
It wasn’t convincing. I decided to give up. I just couldn’t do it.
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The next morning I got a call from Jess. She was just making sure I was okay. She was going on a date with Micky, and wanted advice on what to wear.
“It doesn’t matter what you wear, you look good in anything” I had told her.
It was 100% true. She had a perfect body. Not too skinny, not too tall. Big boobs, piercing blue eyes, and nice small lips. I sometimes wished I was as pretty as her.
Knock, Knock. Mina came in with some tea and chocolates.
“Ohayou gozaimasu, onee-chan. Daijoubu?” She asked sitting down beside me.
“I’m fine. Thanks for the tea.” I said managing a smile.
“Jess told me what happened. Are you sure your okay?”
“I’m fine, really.” I said although it was clearly a lie.
I don’t know why I was so upset. We weren’t actually a couple. But I really, really liked him.
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Two days had passed, I had gotten 3 calls from Max, but ignored them all.
The third day he didn’t call. The day that I actually wanted him to call, he didn’t. I figured he had given up. But I still wanted to figure this out. I needed to figure this out.
I know, your gonna think ‘Are you crazy?! You cant do that!’. But I did it. I had a shower, got dressed and left. I planned to confront Max and talk this over with him. I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to hear his voice again. Of course I was still mad. But what if he was telling the truth? What if she really did kiss him not the other way around. Well, I would soon find out.
I borrowed my sisters car and drove all the way to Max’s house. I walked half way down the driveway and took a couple deep breathes before I got any closer.
Knock, knock.
With the boys it was non-stop jokes and laughs. They really seemed like a happy family, although they were just friends. They all went way back. Even Boa. They kept bringing up embarrassing moments about each other from the past. It was very entertaining but made me feel kind of out of place.
“Remember when Xiah and Boa first kissed, well almost kissed?” Micky asked grinning.
“Yeah!” U Know said laughing. “She leaned in to kiss him, and he ran away!”
Everyone was laughing now.
“How old were you guys anyways?” Micky asked.
“I think we were 9 right Xiah?” Boa asked smiling and hugging him.
I tuned out their jokes to look around at all the people here. I noticed a girl sitting on a bench near the shed. She looked like she was near my age. She was crying and clutching her knees.
“Hey Max, is she alright?” I asked nudging him.
“I’m not sure. Here, come with me.” He said grabbing my hand and leading me towards the girl.
He spoke to her in Korean so I had no idea what he was saying. But she nodded her head so I figured she was okay, although she didn’t look okay. She ran off into the house.
“Yeah she’s fine.” He said rubbing my back.
“She didn’t look fine to me.” I said worried.
“Are you having fun.”
“Of course, I always have fun when I’m with you.” I said smiling.
“Me too.” He said smiling back. “I’m gonna go get a drink, do you want anything?”
“No thanks.”
I walked over to the bench where the girl crying was once sitting. I wondered if she was really okay. She looked like a mess. I couldn’t help but feel bad for her.
Max was taking a really long time, so I decided to go look for him. I walked into the kitchen but he wasn’t there. I walked around the house hoping I wouldn’t get lost. Until I came to a room that looked like a living room. I turned the corner and got a glimpse of a make-out session. I was just about to run away but then I took a closer look and saw who it was. Max. And the girl who was crying.
My heart pounded and I started to cry. Max looked up just as I started to run away. He chased me all the way to the backyard. I grabbed my purse and jacket and ran back into the house and out the front door. He caught me at the end of the driveway.
“Sofia,” He said trying to catch his breath. “Please don’t go. Its not how it looks.”
“Oh yeah? Well it sure looked like you were making out with that girl. If you weren’t then what were you doing?!” I cried.
“Sof, I promise. Its not like that.” He said looking away.
“Whatever Max, I really thought you liked me. How stupid am I?! Thinking you actually liked me?! Please tell me I’m not insane! Tell me these past few days actually meant something to you.”
“It did, you did. You still do. I didn’t kiss her.”
“MAX! I saw you kiss her! I was standing right there!” I yelled.
I was furious! How could he lie to me?! I saw it with my own eyes!
“No, I mean she kissed me.” He said trying to calm me down.
He put his hands on my shoulders but I shook them off and started to walk away. He grabbed my hand and turned me back around. He held me close and whispered ‘I’m sorry’. It was tempting to tell him ‘Its okay, I forgive you. I love you.’ But I couldn’t. He kissed her. And I saw it.
I pushed him away and left. This time he didn’t come after me, he just watched me walk away. I was so mad I wanted to scream.
It was a long walk back to my house, so I decided to stop at a local park. I sat on a bench and broke down. I cried, and cried. I just couldn’t stop. I felt hurt, and betrayed, and angry. How could he do that to me? How could he kiss her, and then lie about it?!
My phone rang and I jumped. It was Jess.
“Sof! Where are you?” She panicked.
“I’m… at a park.” I said sniffling. “I’m fine I just need to be alone for a bit.”
“Are you okay? What happened?”
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.” I said. And the crying started again.
“I’m coming to get you. What park are you at?”
“Shannon Lake Park.” I said between breaths.
She hung up and was there in approximately 3 minutes. She ran up to me and hugged me. She didn’t say anything, she just comforted me while I cried. I wished it was Max who was hugging me. I didn’t want to be mad at him, I wished I hadn’t seen him kiss her. But I was too mad to go back there and make up.
“Are you going to tell me what happened? Or do you not want to talk about it?” She asked wiping away my tears.
“He kissed her. Jess, he kissed her! How could he do that to me?” I collapsed into her lap.
“Wait. He kissed who?” She asked confused.
“Did you see that girl crying in the corner?” I asked. “He went inside to get something to drink, and when he was taking to long I decided to go see what he was doing. I couldn’t find him at first but I kept looking. I walked into the living room and saw her on top of him. Jess, I feel so used! I feel betrayed and hurt! I don’t know what to do!” I started crying again.
“Oh my god. Sof, its gonna be okay.” She said petting my head.
The next fifteen minutes was spent crying, and Jess comforting me.
“Jess, what do I do? I want to go back there. I want to figure this out! I don’t want to be mad at him!”
“Look, give him a night to think this over. You guys will figure this out. For now just give him some time, he will realize its you he really likes. Just give it some time.”
She took me home and I plopped down on my bed. I felt drained. I felt like I couldn’t cry anymore. I had no more tears left to cry. I thought about what Max had said.
“I didn’t kiss her.” and “she kissed me.”
Was he telling the truth? I didn’t know if I could believe him now. I couldn’t get the picture of them kissing out of my head. I wanted to hit someone. Max, or that girl. I didn’t want to think about what happened. I didn’t want to think about him, ever again. I wanted to forget him. But I couldn’t.
“Forget Max, forget Max, forget Max. He doesn’t matter anymore. You don’t like him” I said to myself.
It wasn’t convincing. I decided to give up. I just couldn’t do it.
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The next morning I got a call from Jess. She was just making sure I was okay. She was going on a date with Micky, and wanted advice on what to wear.
“It doesn’t matter what you wear, you look good in anything” I had told her.
It was 100% true. She had a perfect body. Not too skinny, not too tall. Big boobs, piercing blue eyes, and nice small lips. I sometimes wished I was as pretty as her.
Knock, Knock. Mina came in with some tea and chocolates.
“Ohayou gozaimasu, onee-chan. Daijoubu?” She asked sitting down beside me.
“I’m fine. Thanks for the tea.” I said managing a smile.
“Jess told me what happened. Are you sure your okay?”
“I’m fine, really.” I said although it was clearly a lie.
I don’t know why I was so upset. We weren’t actually a couple. But I really, really liked him.
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Two days had passed, I had gotten 3 calls from Max, but ignored them all.
The third day he didn’t call. The day that I actually wanted him to call, he didn’t. I figured he had given up. But I still wanted to figure this out. I needed to figure this out.
I know, your gonna think ‘Are you crazy?! You cant do that!’. But I did it. I had a shower, got dressed and left. I planned to confront Max and talk this over with him. I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to hear his voice again. Of course I was still mad. But what if he was telling the truth? What if she really did kiss him not the other way around. Well, I would soon find out.
I borrowed my sisters car and drove all the way to Max’s house. I walked half way down the driveway and took a couple deep breathes before I got any closer.
Knock, knock.