(no subject)

[maddyattackzz]

This weekend was busy and wonderful,
which is finally a change.
Maybe these next few coming will be good too?

I read a quote today on the side of a Starbucks cup
and I wish I could remember it fully
but it mentioned something about
using "logical hesitation" as an excuse
when you are really just afraid of commitment
and that commitment is not binding
but instead freeing
because you are letting go of your mind
and your thoughts
and essentially, your fears.

I guess I have never thought about it that way.
Maybe I should.
I am starting to wonder if some strange event occured during my childhood
that i simply do not remember.
An event that caused this scary and illogical terror of commitment
that I cannot seem to shake.

I just remembered that I should be doing homework, oh well.
I got into UF by the way.
That was my last school, so now I've heard from every school that I applied to.
I'm glad, on one hand, because all of this hard work in high school is paying off.
But on the other, it is not making my decision any easier
and this ridiculous stress is not going away.

Hmm.