Update
Mom's still in the hospital - - her fluid level(?) - - however they measure fluid retention - - was 1000 when she went in Monday. It's down to 500 as of this morning. But, she has pneumonia, too. And she wants to go home, and she keeps going outside in 30 degree weather to smoke.
I should've updated last night, but I was a mess. Yesterday morning was spent making calls, cancelling her home health visits until she's back home, cancelling her appointment with Dr Janbay, calling relatives, then returning gifts of Mom's at a couple of stores. I left J here making more calls and went on to the hospital. I caught Dr Fernando just as he was leaving Mom's room, and he told me they were doing more tests - - they didn't know then about the pneumonia. And it was freezing in Mom's room - - the heat wasn't working *again*.
J had called Jan, and she came right on over. Right after she got there, Mom told me to go get her some cigarettes, and I told her, you know, you're in the hospital, you can't smoke. I mean, she couldn't even *breathe* without oxygen, and she wants to smoke. Her response was "I'm grown, I can do whatever I want." My response to that was "You won't smoke if I don't bring you any cigarettes." Before it got out of hand, Jan, God bless her, suggested we go get something to eat
- - it was around 1pm then, but I hadn't had lunch. So we got lunch and she listened to me bitch for a while. I told her it didn't matter if I didn't get her cigarettes, Terry and Regina would do it. So, I got her some of course. Why is that? Why do I do it even though I know I shouldn't? She wanted me to take her to the smoking area after Jan left, and I did, but I wouldn't stay out there - - it was freezing! In the 30s, cloudy, and the wind was blowing.
I had started getting a headache when Mom and I argued, and by the time I got back here, it was as close to a migraine as I've come in over 10 years. J gave me Excedrin Migraine and made me lie down for a couple of hours until it went away, then we went and picked up some dinner. Then I went back to bed, so I could get up early and catch Dr Fernando this morning.
Mom was ready to go when I got there - - of course, she was yesterday, too. And she had ot go out and smoke. I told her it was too cold, and she *was* freezing, and puking, but she stayed out there and smoked. I waited from 8 am until 12:30, went to get lunch, and as soon as I left, the doctor came by. And told her she had pneumonia, and told her she had to stay - - until tomorrow Mom said, but I'm sure it'll be longer. I went by Goodwill, and found something I've always wanted - - a rolltop desk. J's going to have to do some repairs, and it has water rings on the top, but it was only $9.99! I called J - - I was in the car - - and he came and met me for lunch and we went by and got the desk. When we got back to the hospital, Mom had to go smoke again. She said that would do her until Terry and Regina came this afternoon and could take her back out. And she told me I might as well come home, since she wasn't going to get released today. I didn't argue, and J and I came home and unloaded the desk, and had to take down the tree and move some furniture around to get it where I wanted it.
I called Mom back tonight to see how she was doing. She said she was fine. And that Terry and Regina came by, but she didn't go out and smoke because they told her it was too cold. So apparently she trusts their judgment, but not mine.
I'm to the point where I feel like, why should I try and help her when she won't help herself. And I don't want to feel that way. I love her and want her to be as well as she can be for as long as she can be. I don't want to have hard feelings toward her.
I feel better now. I've had some time alone with J, a nice long shower, I'm sitting here watching GoF, and J's going to give me a pedicure. And I'm going to try and catch up on some of these LJ comments and e-mail I'm behind on.
I love you all, and I thank you so much for your sweet comments and unwavering support.
I should've updated last night, but I was a mess. Yesterday morning was spent making calls, cancelling her home health visits until she's back home, cancelling her appointment with Dr Janbay, calling relatives, then returning gifts of Mom's at a couple of stores. I left J here making more calls and went on to the hospital. I caught Dr Fernando just as he was leaving Mom's room, and he told me they were doing more tests - - they didn't know then about the pneumonia. And it was freezing in Mom's room - - the heat wasn't working *again*.
J had called Jan, and she came right on over. Right after she got there, Mom told me to go get her some cigarettes, and I told her, you know, you're in the hospital, you can't smoke. I mean, she couldn't even *breathe* without oxygen, and she wants to smoke. Her response was "I'm grown, I can do whatever I want." My response to that was "You won't smoke if I don't bring you any cigarettes." Before it got out of hand, Jan, God bless her, suggested we go get something to eat
- - it was around 1pm then, but I hadn't had lunch. So we got lunch and she listened to me bitch for a while. I told her it didn't matter if I didn't get her cigarettes, Terry and Regina would do it. So, I got her some of course. Why is that? Why do I do it even though I know I shouldn't? She wanted me to take her to the smoking area after Jan left, and I did, but I wouldn't stay out there - - it was freezing! In the 30s, cloudy, and the wind was blowing.
I had started getting a headache when Mom and I argued, and by the time I got back here, it was as close to a migraine as I've come in over 10 years. J gave me Excedrin Migraine and made me lie down for a couple of hours until it went away, then we went and picked up some dinner. Then I went back to bed, so I could get up early and catch Dr Fernando this morning.
Mom was ready to go when I got there - - of course, she was yesterday, too. And she had ot go out and smoke. I told her it was too cold, and she *was* freezing, and puking, but she stayed out there and smoked. I waited from 8 am until 12:30, went to get lunch, and as soon as I left, the doctor came by. And told her she had pneumonia, and told her she had to stay - - until tomorrow Mom said, but I'm sure it'll be longer. I went by Goodwill, and found something I've always wanted - - a rolltop desk. J's going to have to do some repairs, and it has water rings on the top, but it was only $9.99! I called J - - I was in the car - - and he came and met me for lunch and we went by and got the desk. When we got back to the hospital, Mom had to go smoke again. She said that would do her until Terry and Regina came this afternoon and could take her back out. And she told me I might as well come home, since she wasn't going to get released today. I didn't argue, and J and I came home and unloaded the desk, and had to take down the tree and move some furniture around to get it where I wanted it.
I called Mom back tonight to see how she was doing. She said she was fine. And that Terry and Regina came by, but she didn't go out and smoke because they told her it was too cold. So apparently she trusts their judgment, but not mine.
I'm to the point where I feel like, why should I try and help her when she won't help herself. And I don't want to feel that way. I love her and want her to be as well as she can be for as long as she can be. I don't want to have hard feelings toward her.
I feel better now. I've had some time alone with J, a nice long shower, I'm sitting here watching GoF, and J's going to give me a pedicure. And I'm going to try and catch up on some of these LJ comments and e-mail I'm behind on.
I love you all, and I thank you so much for your sweet comments and unwavering support.