What the fuck am I doing?
I've really been very antisocial lately, and well, I don't know why. I don't know if it's that I just don't care about anything else right now. Or if I am just so self-centered that all I care about is myself. It's one or extreme or the other, I just don't know which. Or maybe it's a nice healthy balance of each, which would make sense since my whole life has to be "balanced". But of crourse it's really not. I don't even care about my self. So how can I care about anyone else in my life? It's really just a downward spiral.
I've ditched my friends, my family, I don't know what's wrong with me. The ONLY person I have been in contact with is my brother, but he really needs me right now. A lot of shit going on in his life right now. I am pretty much his mother and father, you know, since he's never had either. And I guess it's nice to feel needed. But of course it is, right? I've been bitching about "needing to be wanted" for so long now... I should be happy right? And I am, but I still just feel soo empty.
I've ditched my friends, my family, I don't know what's wrong with me. The ONLY person I have been in contact with is my brother, but he really needs me right now. A lot of shit going on in his life right now. I am pretty much his mother and father, you know, since he's never had either. And I guess it's nice to feel needed. But of course it is, right? I've been bitching about "needing to be wanted" for so long now... I should be happy right? And I am, but I still just feel soo empty.