Livejournal
Today I found R's long abandoned LiveJournal. And then out of curiosity for a comparison, I reread some of my own from the same period.
I remember doing this once, trying to start from the beginning, with my teenage self's RaNdoM CAPS and horible spellinz. Needless to say, I stopped immediately. But today, since R's journal started in 2002 when he was in college, I went back to 2005, when I was the same age (adding a few years to compensate for maturity levels- his higher than mine, of course).
The journal I happened upon was a review of a book which inspired me to run for office (and only one spelling error! "what" written as "wut" as in, "wut was I thinking?!"). Even then I was enamored with local office.
Fast forward to today. I sit on my first politically appointed board position (Contra Costa Transportation Authority's Citizen Advisory Board). I run the small non-profit arm of Contra Costa County Probation Department (Juvenile Hall Auxiliary). I hugged two mayors this month (don't worry, I'm 98% sure neither know my name). Today, after working for the state government, the county government, the city government, after seeing the rise and fall of Obama according to public opinion, after fundraising and hand-shaking myself, I feel myself jaded about public office.
I feel like more time is spent money raising than policy making, leaving hard decisions for the future. I value my privacy and home life more. I see the bureaucratic machine more clearly, towering so high, it threatens to fall upon itself or me.
So now, what next? Do I try and slay the giant? Do I turn inward to family life? Do I take my triumphs in the non-profit world? Is helping more people the answer? Is helping less people deeply more honorable, more true? Is just helping my own chosen kin enough?
Well, at least I got my yearly blog post out of it.
I remember doing this once, trying to start from the beginning, with my teenage self's RaNdoM CAPS and horible spellinz. Needless to say, I stopped immediately. But today, since R's journal started in 2002 when he was in college, I went back to 2005, when I was the same age (adding a few years to compensate for maturity levels- his higher than mine, of course).
The journal I happened upon was a review of a book which inspired me to run for office (and only one spelling error! "what" written as "wut" as in, "wut was I thinking?!"). Even then I was enamored with local office.
Fast forward to today. I sit on my first politically appointed board position (Contra Costa Transportation Authority's Citizen Advisory Board). I run the small non-profit arm of Contra Costa County Probation Department (Juvenile Hall Auxiliary). I hugged two mayors this month (don't worry, I'm 98% sure neither know my name). Today, after working for the state government, the county government, the city government, after seeing the rise and fall of Obama according to public opinion, after fundraising and hand-shaking myself, I feel myself jaded about public office.
I feel like more time is spent money raising than policy making, leaving hard decisions for the future. I value my privacy and home life more. I see the bureaucratic machine more clearly, towering so high, it threatens to fall upon itself or me.
So now, what next? Do I try and slay the giant? Do I turn inward to family life? Do I take my triumphs in the non-profit world? Is helping more people the answer? Is helping less people deeply more honorable, more true? Is just helping my own chosen kin enough?
Well, at least I got my yearly blog post out of it.