stumbling across high school poetry from 2001
I always imagined someday I'd be cool enough to have a book called, "Collected Writings of the Young Shao." It would include emo writings such as these:
connect the dots for big kids!
It's on days like this
That I'd rather shut all the windows
And lock all the doors,
And just lay in bed
Till my brain ferments and leaks out my ears
And stains the cover of my pillow.
Then everything would be nice.
Silent, dark.
My pillow can do the thinking for me
While I day dream in the world
Pictured on the ceiling.
The world could silently resent me
All it wants,
Send it's teasingly clever minions
While I lay in my bed,
An Ophelia drifting down the river
Of a quiet wood
With flowers in her hair.
But as it is,
I've got school to go to.
The morning has grown hot
With the impatience of the day
By the door, stalking and prowling and
Correcting me through the key hole.
and
the snake
It began in a desert
With 5,000 miles of sand.
There the ponds, upon ponderous examination,
Were cracked mirrors placed by clever angels,
And the shackles shed amongst tired snake skin
Fluttered like moth wings when the wind came.
The cactuses were crackling and hot, oozing in the day,
And footsteps were like ripples in the dusty sea.
I know where I am now,
Though I don't know where I will end.
But when the wind comes, and brings with it
Passing birds overhead, I walk on, free as you;
Existence is nothing if not hope in a desert.
And my
Senioritis
It's six o' clock in the morning, and I drag myself tiredly out of bed. I shower, drink a cup of coffee, and begin my long trip to a building I have come to know, and have nightmares of, over the past four years. The average person who hated their job would get a clue and quit, perhaps go back to college and find a vocation they love, but I'm trapped like a white winged dove in a wire cage where people hype on the value and importance of a high school diploma. Teachers and other adults repeatedly shove choice lines down my throat: It helps you find work. It gives you a feeling of satisfaction. A well educated society makes for a productive society that is innovative and resourceful. Besides all that, we want well educated, clear minded young adults to inherit our country and values, vote in our elections, and take care of us in our old age. But the truth is, none of these require four years of high school or a piece of paper that comes in the mail after graduation, and four years of high school really aren't necessary for a good life.
A common myth is that employers want people with a high school diploma; it lets them know that the person they're hiring is intelligent and hard working. The truth is, the average Joe Schmo manager of some retail place just wants a bright looking person who can work extremely flexible hours, and high school kids (who can't open, close, or work during school hours) can't do that while folks out of high school can. Beyond the retail life are high paying jobs that require some college education, but have nothing against a GED. "Ah hah!" you say, "But, you can't get a college education without finishing high school first!" While four year universities rarely accept incoming freshmen with GEDs, they readily accept transfer students from community colleges which, by definition, will accept anyone from the community, whether they have a high school diploma or not. In either case, even if you did have or are going for a high school diploma, you still won't have the college education necessary for a well paying job and will have to fill out an application for Joe Schmo retail manager who will have a keen eye out on your hours of availability.
Some people argue that the four years of high school are the best four years of a person's life. For a select and lucky few, that may be true, but for most people they aren't, nor are they any different than the four years someone had in Jr. High before that or the four years they'll have in college after. The truth is, the lonely and troubled high school dreamer is a well known part of American society and everyone has seen him. He's your James Dean, your Holden Cauffield, that sad, romantic looking kid who sits in the back row of your English class and doodles on a note pad all day. All the stories you've heard of petty and vicious high schoolers who rip at other students and turn high school into a social chessboard of psychological destruction aren't lies. People do get teased to the point where they cry, become bulimic or anorexic, or develop complexes. They grow up lonely inside and bitter, intelligent nonetheless, and will become well off and stable enough to marry, then, fifty percent of them, divorce less than five years later. They will wonder what is wrong with them and go to psychologists who ask for their life stories, buy aromatic candles with healing scents from some fruity store, or plug themselves into a gaudy pop culture where they try to fit in and recreate themselves. People get screwed over by all the banality and vanity of high school; no one is going to smile any brighter, be any more intelligent or better for the four years they've had in one.
This is not to say education sucks and should be done away with. Our country really needs educated people if it wants stay competitive in an international market and economy that grows increasingly technology orientated. This country has a lot of excellent universities for this, and junior colleges that are perfect stepping stones toward them. Most kids go to junior colleges, whatever their grades were, simply because they are more convenient and offer a good education for less than a tenth of the cost (ie: $11 a unit instead of $140). There is nothing wrong with going to a junior college, and a lot of people do. People who scoff at the idea of junior colleges are usually people who don't wince at the expense of a four year university (in the ten and twenty thousands each year), or don't know that the initials UC don't mean anything towards a degree during the first two years. "But wouldn't it be harder to transfer to a UC?" some people ask. No, it wouldn't be: close to forty percent of the country's college freshmen will drop out after this year and decide college isn't for them; knowing this, colleges like people who have already proven their tenacity with two years in a community college.
One thing I did learn in high school, that I may use in real life situations, is the term "opportunity cost," which is the economist's nifty way of saying, "What this costs me," or, "What would you rather be doing with the fifty five minutes you sleep through in my class?" The opportunity cost of high school is tolerable, which is why most are still here, but I could be working right now, flipping burgers or selling over priced clothing. Either way, I'd be making money toward my life savings, for that first house or a nice wedding. During the seven months we have left of high school, seniors could be taking a road trip through the US or be back packing through Europe in our elongated summer break before college. We could all be enjoying ourselves, which is really the point in life. There is no point in living if one's existence is miserable, and mine would be if I stressed over nazi AP teachers or SAT II scores.
Ultimately, while some people can afford to and should spend the first two years of college at UC fill-in-the-blank or some posh private school, the value of a high school diploma shouldn't be over hyped. As for that feeling of satisfaction someone's parents can claim from their high school diploma -- they can get that feeling too when they walk out of high school, take a deep breath of relaxation, and pat themselves on the back for finally getting a clue. It's ironic, all the years wasted waking up early in the morning and suffering through lousy classes and classmates when they could've opted out.
connect the dots for big kids!
It's on days like this
That I'd rather shut all the windows
And lock all the doors,
And just lay in bed
Till my brain ferments and leaks out my ears
And stains the cover of my pillow.
Then everything would be nice.
Silent, dark.
My pillow can do the thinking for me
While I day dream in the world
Pictured on the ceiling.
The world could silently resent me
All it wants,
Send it's teasingly clever minions
While I lay in my bed,
An Ophelia drifting down the river
Of a quiet wood
With flowers in her hair.
But as it is,
I've got school to go to.
The morning has grown hot
With the impatience of the day
By the door, stalking and prowling and
Correcting me through the key hole.
and
the snake
It began in a desert
With 5,000 miles of sand.
There the ponds, upon ponderous examination,
Were cracked mirrors placed by clever angels,
And the shackles shed amongst tired snake skin
Fluttered like moth wings when the wind came.
The cactuses were crackling and hot, oozing in the day,
And footsteps were like ripples in the dusty sea.
I know where I am now,
Though I don't know where I will end.
But when the wind comes, and brings with it
Passing birds overhead, I walk on, free as you;
Existence is nothing if not hope in a desert.
And my
Senioritis
It's six o' clock in the morning, and I drag myself tiredly out of bed. I shower, drink a cup of coffee, and begin my long trip to a building I have come to know, and have nightmares of, over the past four years. The average person who hated their job would get a clue and quit, perhaps go back to college and find a vocation they love, but I'm trapped like a white winged dove in a wire cage where people hype on the value and importance of a high school diploma. Teachers and other adults repeatedly shove choice lines down my throat: It helps you find work. It gives you a feeling of satisfaction. A well educated society makes for a productive society that is innovative and resourceful. Besides all that, we want well educated, clear minded young adults to inherit our country and values, vote in our elections, and take care of us in our old age. But the truth is, none of these require four years of high school or a piece of paper that comes in the mail after graduation, and four years of high school really aren't necessary for a good life.
A common myth is that employers want people with a high school diploma; it lets them know that the person they're hiring is intelligent and hard working. The truth is, the average Joe Schmo manager of some retail place just wants a bright looking person who can work extremely flexible hours, and high school kids (who can't open, close, or work during school hours) can't do that while folks out of high school can. Beyond the retail life are high paying jobs that require some college education, but have nothing against a GED. "Ah hah!" you say, "But, you can't get a college education without finishing high school first!" While four year universities rarely accept incoming freshmen with GEDs, they readily accept transfer students from community colleges which, by definition, will accept anyone from the community, whether they have a high school diploma or not. In either case, even if you did have or are going for a high school diploma, you still won't have the college education necessary for a well paying job and will have to fill out an application for Joe Schmo retail manager who will have a keen eye out on your hours of availability.
Some people argue that the four years of high school are the best four years of a person's life. For a select and lucky few, that may be true, but for most people they aren't, nor are they any different than the four years someone had in Jr. High before that or the four years they'll have in college after. The truth is, the lonely and troubled high school dreamer is a well known part of American society and everyone has seen him. He's your James Dean, your Holden Cauffield, that sad, romantic looking kid who sits in the back row of your English class and doodles on a note pad all day. All the stories you've heard of petty and vicious high schoolers who rip at other students and turn high school into a social chessboard of psychological destruction aren't lies. People do get teased to the point where they cry, become bulimic or anorexic, or develop complexes. They grow up lonely inside and bitter, intelligent nonetheless, and will become well off and stable enough to marry, then, fifty percent of them, divorce less than five years later. They will wonder what is wrong with them and go to psychologists who ask for their life stories, buy aromatic candles with healing scents from some fruity store, or plug themselves into a gaudy pop culture where they try to fit in and recreate themselves. People get screwed over by all the banality and vanity of high school; no one is going to smile any brighter, be any more intelligent or better for the four years they've had in one.
This is not to say education sucks and should be done away with. Our country really needs educated people if it wants stay competitive in an international market and economy that grows increasingly technology orientated. This country has a lot of excellent universities for this, and junior colleges that are perfect stepping stones toward them. Most kids go to junior colleges, whatever their grades were, simply because they are more convenient and offer a good education for less than a tenth of the cost (ie: $11 a unit instead of $140). There is nothing wrong with going to a junior college, and a lot of people do. People who scoff at the idea of junior colleges are usually people who don't wince at the expense of a four year university (in the ten and twenty thousands each year), or don't know that the initials UC don't mean anything towards a degree during the first two years. "But wouldn't it be harder to transfer to a UC?" some people ask. No, it wouldn't be: close to forty percent of the country's college freshmen will drop out after this year and decide college isn't for them; knowing this, colleges like people who have already proven their tenacity with two years in a community college.
One thing I did learn in high school, that I may use in real life situations, is the term "opportunity cost," which is the economist's nifty way of saying, "What this costs me," or, "What would you rather be doing with the fifty five minutes you sleep through in my class?" The opportunity cost of high school is tolerable, which is why most are still here, but I could be working right now, flipping burgers or selling over priced clothing. Either way, I'd be making money toward my life savings, for that first house or a nice wedding. During the seven months we have left of high school, seniors could be taking a road trip through the US or be back packing through Europe in our elongated summer break before college. We could all be enjoying ourselves, which is really the point in life. There is no point in living if one's existence is miserable, and mine would be if I stressed over nazi AP teachers or SAT II scores.
Ultimately, while some people can afford to and should spend the first two years of college at UC fill-in-the-blank or some posh private school, the value of a high school diploma shouldn't be over hyped. As for that feeling of satisfaction someone's parents can claim from their high school diploma -- they can get that feeling too when they walk out of high school, take a deep breath of relaxation, and pat themselves on the back for finally getting a clue. It's ironic, all the years wasted waking up early in the morning and suffering through lousy classes and classmates when they could've opted out.