Nocheat Update: Arturo DeTreville and Maurice Extreme
Quick recap (sometimes I wonder if these recaps are more for me than anyone reading this?).
Arturo DeTreville lives with his long time lover, Maurice Extreme. Maurice convinced Arturo's sister, Isadora, to mother a child with him, so he and Arturo could have a family. Enter, Willhelm DeTreville.
(pixel_and_bean, this goes out to you)
Hah! Bet you weren't expecting THAT were you. Yup, I went into their home and there was Arturo without even so much a his pixelation on. I love glitches. And that is one WHITE ass.
After getting into his pj's, Arturo gets a phone call. "You should have gone to jail, stoolie," a voice threatens.
"Who the fuck is this?" Arturo's grumpy disposition barely masks his fear. Who could have found out he turned state's wittness to avoid the pokey?
In bed, his sleep is plagued with bad dreams. He knows his sister, Carmella, is following in their father's footsteps, trying to become the next great criminal mastermind. Could she have arranged the call?
While Arturo slowly goes crazy with worry, Willhelm becomes a child. And he's very bland to look at. But he's a nice enough kid.
Though he tends to ask a few too many questions for Arturo's liking.
"So, what do you do all day while I'm at school and Dad's at work?" Willhelm doesn't view Arturo as his father, which pains Arturo just a bit.
"I've been working on my robotics. . ."
"And my painting."
"In fact, I've been really busy with Prickly Love."
"But Prickly Love isn't a JOB! You don't make any money at it, right?" Maurice is such a fortune sim it's not even funny.
"Shut up. Just because it's not financially profitable doesn't mean it's not WORK. I took me all afternoon to get the cactus patch just right. Landscaping really takes a lot out of you."
"And do you think the jackets and t-shirts just make themselves? I've been wondering if I should expand the line to include shoes. What do you think?"
"I think you need a job."
While cooped up in his house all day, worrying if his criminal sister is out to get him for turning his back on the family business, Arturo has taken to watching a lot of t.v. He's become a huge fan of "The Simkees." Or more acurately, a big fan of Cactus.
After talking with some of the neighbors. . .
. . .he realized he wasn't alone. And Nocheat's official Cactus fan club, Prickly Love, was born.
With his new found desire for all things cacti, Arturo eagerly accepts a job in the natural science career track (he's also a fortune sim with a lifetime want to earn $100,000, so this won't hurt at all).
"I don't know, pop. All this excitement over plants can't be healthy. Are you sure Arturo hasn't slipped a cog?"
Maurice shares Willhelm's concern when Arturo arrives home with a promotion and. . .
one hell of a fucked up plant. "It's like little shop of horrors in my own backyard."
Maurice does some research but can find nothing even close to what's looming in his backyard. He fears for the safety of Willhelm.
And very well he should. . .
He catches the lad just in time to save him from a terrible fate.
"Didn't you understand Arturo when he told you that plant is not a plaything?"
"Yes, but it had cake. . ."
Maurice sends Willhelm to bed and then searches out his beloved Arturo.
Arturo, on his way to feed the source of the familial tension, discovers it has already helped itself to Maurice's co-worker. Ooops. Time to hide this pesky tombstone behind the house.
All that exertion really builds up a powerful thirst. "Mmm, plant milk. Refreshing." I love how the plant looks pleased with itself as Arturo partakes of its evil serum.
While he sleeps, Arturo feverishly dreams of family expansion.
Once Maurice and Willhelm are out of the house (Maurice made it to the top of his career, securing himself perma-platinum), Arturo begins work on making his dream his reality.
He's shocked when Maurice brings that very topic up at the dinner table that evening. "I've been thinking. Wouldn't it be nice to have an addition to the family."
Arturo agrees. "I was just thinking the same thing."
But perhaps Arturo wasn't on the same page as Maurice.
Arturo seems surprised when Maurice gets down on one knee and proposes.
But not as surprised as Willhelm.
"So THAT'S what you meant when you were prattling on about a new member of the family?" Willhelm yells, then bursts into tears.
Arturo sighs and gazes into his new engagement ring while Maurice chases after his son.
A few days pass and Maurice and Willhelm are still trying to patch things up.
"Hey, pops. I hate to point this out, but you're getting a little fat. Too many social events and not enough working out?"
In fact, Maurice had just lost the family fortune (all twelve grand of it) in an ill chosen chance card. Something about losing face at a social event and having to make a large charitable donation to soothe the sting.
Willhelm, the little brat, didn't need to point it out. Maurice was painfully aware of his unsightly extra poundage. He'd packed on so much weight he was down to only fitting into one outfit. But how could he be gaining so much weight, all he eats is salad. He was worried Arturo wouldn't love him if he was no longer buff.
"Arturo, would you still love me if I was fat?"
Arturo turns toward Maurice just in time to see his lover's stomach swelling to an incredible size.
"What the hell?"
Arturo tries not to, but does anyway. He laughs. He laughs like he's never laughed before.
Maurice is not amused.
"What. . .this isn't funny, Arturo."
"Do you want to hear a secret? You're not fat. Your pregnant."
"WHAAAAAAAAAT?! How could I be, pregnaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh"
Arturo is visibly excited. The birth is a bit premature, but seems to go well.
Soon he's welcoming two new members into the family.
"Holy shit! That worked better than I had planned." Arturo was finally a father to twin baby boys.
Maurice stared in disbelief, then hauled one sproglet off to the fridge for a bottle. He was obviously still in shock.
As the shock began to wear off, he decided on a name for the new son in his arms. Giorgio. Giorgio Extreme. (so named because this family is constantly talking about fashion)
Arturo gathered up the other babe and gave him a complete once over.
He looked strong and healthy, despite his premature birth. Since Maurice was busy with the other baby, Arturo took it upon himself to name this one. Tito. Tito Extreme. (remember all that televison Arturo had been watching, well the Jackson 5 was among his regular programming).
"Arturo, you got some splaning to do."
"Well, you know all that salad you've been wolfing down?"
"You mean all the salad you've been feeding me?"
"Yeah, that salad. Well, it was leaves from the plant I brought home from work."
"And LEAVES got me knocked up?"
"Well, they're special leaves."
"Special?"
"Yeah, it's kind of like, well, my dna is in the leaves."
"You mean? Oh, that's sick. You wacked off on the leaves and fed them to me?"
"Please, like you've never tasted that before? I said IN the leaves, not ON the leaves."
"You mean, you and the plant are the same?"
"No, we're very different. It's just that I sort injected my dna into the meat I've been feeding it."
"Why?"
"Because that's what rogue botanists DO, Maurice."
And now that Maurice fully understands what Arturo does for a living, he wonders if he wasn't better off when Arturo was sitting around the house all day watching television.
And boy is Willhelm going to be pissed.
Arturo DeTreville lives with his long time lover, Maurice Extreme. Maurice convinced Arturo's sister, Isadora, to mother a child with him, so he and Arturo could have a family. Enter, Willhelm DeTreville.
(pixel_and_bean, this goes out to you)
Hah! Bet you weren't expecting THAT were you. Yup, I went into their home and there was Arturo without even so much a his pixelation on. I love glitches. And that is one WHITE ass.
After getting into his pj's, Arturo gets a phone call. "You should have gone to jail, stoolie," a voice threatens.
"Who the fuck is this?" Arturo's grumpy disposition barely masks his fear. Who could have found out he turned state's wittness to avoid the pokey?
In bed, his sleep is plagued with bad dreams. He knows his sister, Carmella, is following in their father's footsteps, trying to become the next great criminal mastermind. Could she have arranged the call?
While Arturo slowly goes crazy with worry, Willhelm becomes a child. And he's very bland to look at. But he's a nice enough kid.
Though he tends to ask a few too many questions for Arturo's liking.
"So, what do you do all day while I'm at school and Dad's at work?" Willhelm doesn't view Arturo as his father, which pains Arturo just a bit.
"I've been working on my robotics. . ."
"And my painting."
"In fact, I've been really busy with Prickly Love."
"But Prickly Love isn't a JOB! You don't make any money at it, right?" Maurice is such a fortune sim it's not even funny.
"Shut up. Just because it's not financially profitable doesn't mean it's not WORK. I took me all afternoon to get the cactus patch just right. Landscaping really takes a lot out of you."
"And do you think the jackets and t-shirts just make themselves? I've been wondering if I should expand the line to include shoes. What do you think?"
"I think you need a job."
While cooped up in his house all day, worrying if his criminal sister is out to get him for turning his back on the family business, Arturo has taken to watching a lot of t.v. He's become a huge fan of "The Simkees." Or more acurately, a big fan of Cactus.
After talking with some of the neighbors. . .
. . .he realized he wasn't alone. And Nocheat's official Cactus fan club, Prickly Love, was born.
With his new found desire for all things cacti, Arturo eagerly accepts a job in the natural science career track (he's also a fortune sim with a lifetime want to earn $100,000, so this won't hurt at all).
"I don't know, pop. All this excitement over plants can't be healthy. Are you sure Arturo hasn't slipped a cog?"
Maurice shares Willhelm's concern when Arturo arrives home with a promotion and. . .
one hell of a fucked up plant. "It's like little shop of horrors in my own backyard."
Maurice does some research but can find nothing even close to what's looming in his backyard. He fears for the safety of Willhelm.
And very well he should. . .
He catches the lad just in time to save him from a terrible fate.
"Didn't you understand Arturo when he told you that plant is not a plaything?"
"Yes, but it had cake. . ."
Maurice sends Willhelm to bed and then searches out his beloved Arturo.
Arturo, on his way to feed the source of the familial tension, discovers it has already helped itself to Maurice's co-worker. Ooops. Time to hide this pesky tombstone behind the house.
All that exertion really builds up a powerful thirst. "Mmm, plant milk. Refreshing." I love how the plant looks pleased with itself as Arturo partakes of its evil serum.
While he sleeps, Arturo feverishly dreams of family expansion.
Once Maurice and Willhelm are out of the house (Maurice made it to the top of his career, securing himself perma-platinum), Arturo begins work on making his dream his reality.
He's shocked when Maurice brings that very topic up at the dinner table that evening. "I've been thinking. Wouldn't it be nice to have an addition to the family."
Arturo agrees. "I was just thinking the same thing."
But perhaps Arturo wasn't on the same page as Maurice.
Arturo seems surprised when Maurice gets down on one knee and proposes.
But not as surprised as Willhelm.
"So THAT'S what you meant when you were prattling on about a new member of the family?" Willhelm yells, then bursts into tears.
Arturo sighs and gazes into his new engagement ring while Maurice chases after his son.
A few days pass and Maurice and Willhelm are still trying to patch things up.
"Hey, pops. I hate to point this out, but you're getting a little fat. Too many social events and not enough working out?"
In fact, Maurice had just lost the family fortune (all twelve grand of it) in an ill chosen chance card. Something about losing face at a social event and having to make a large charitable donation to soothe the sting.
Willhelm, the little brat, didn't need to point it out. Maurice was painfully aware of his unsightly extra poundage. He'd packed on so much weight he was down to only fitting into one outfit. But how could he be gaining so much weight, all he eats is salad. He was worried Arturo wouldn't love him if he was no longer buff.
"Arturo, would you still love me if I was fat?"
Arturo turns toward Maurice just in time to see his lover's stomach swelling to an incredible size.
"What the hell?"
Arturo tries not to, but does anyway. He laughs. He laughs like he's never laughed before.
Maurice is not amused.
"What. . .this isn't funny, Arturo."
"Do you want to hear a secret? You're not fat. Your pregnant."
"WHAAAAAAAAAT?! How could I be, pregnaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh"
Arturo is visibly excited. The birth is a bit premature, but seems to go well.
Soon he's welcoming two new members into the family.
"Holy shit! That worked better than I had planned." Arturo was finally a father to twin baby boys.
Maurice stared in disbelief, then hauled one sproglet off to the fridge for a bottle. He was obviously still in shock.
As the shock began to wear off, he decided on a name for the new son in his arms. Giorgio. Giorgio Extreme. (so named because this family is constantly talking about fashion)
Arturo gathered up the other babe and gave him a complete once over.
He looked strong and healthy, despite his premature birth. Since Maurice was busy with the other baby, Arturo took it upon himself to name this one. Tito. Tito Extreme. (remember all that televison Arturo had been watching, well the Jackson 5 was among his regular programming).
"Arturo, you got some splaning to do."
"Well, you know all that salad you've been wolfing down?"
"You mean all the salad you've been feeding me?"
"Yeah, that salad. Well, it was leaves from the plant I brought home from work."
"And LEAVES got me knocked up?"
"Well, they're special leaves."
"Special?"
"Yeah, it's kind of like, well, my dna is in the leaves."
"You mean? Oh, that's sick. You wacked off on the leaves and fed them to me?"
"Please, like you've never tasted that before? I said IN the leaves, not ON the leaves."
"You mean, you and the plant are the same?"
"No, we're very different. It's just that I sort injected my dna into the meat I've been feeding it."
"Why?"
"Because that's what rogue botanists DO, Maurice."
And now that Maurice fully understands what Arturo does for a living, he wonders if he wasn't better off when Arturo was sitting around the house all day watching television.
And boy is Willhelm going to be pissed.