Nocheat: Arturo and Maurice Extreme
Yee ghads and little catfishes. We're going to Arturo (Crabby Daddy) and Maurice (Fun Daddy's) house. Gotta see how those alien babies turned out.
Background: Arturo and Maurice Extreme FINALLY got married, after (in a round about way) bringing three children into the world (Willhelm, the oldest and currently at CCON, was mothered by Arturo's now deceased sister, Isadora---Tito and Giorgio (teen twins) were the product of Arturo testing his genetically altered plants on his then fiance, Maurice). Just as Arturo and Maurice are settling in (ready to send Willhelm off to college), Arturo's youngest brother Carmine asks for Arturo's help in having a baby (Carmine uses Arturo's altered plants to gestate a baby). Arturo agree mostly because he just returned from being abducted by aliens and the family doesn't have enough money for the new baby (which turn out to be TWINS). So, currently the household (which is located right next door to Carmine's place) consists of Arturo and Maurice, Tito and Giorgio, and the new babies, Desmonda and Dweezil.
Time to see how everyone is doing, yes?
Tito is smitten by his baby sister. Being the only girl in the household, Desmonda is often found in the arms of one of her family members, being smothered in kisses and deafened by baby talk.
Their baby days are uneventfully quick.
"You ready to have two toddlers biting our ankles all day, Artie?"
"Like I have a choice?"
Little Dweezil is the spitting image of his father (except for the ears).
The golden daughter, Desmonda is next.
But there was a glitch so a second cake had to be purchased. What a princess this one is, huh?
Just look at how she's staring at her father. She knows she's spoiled, don't even think she doesn't.
Second time's a charm for the queen of the testosterone palace.
She's so cute. That's only going to add fuel to the fire that is Miss Desmonda.
As the alien twins age, so does Fun Daddy, Maurice.
He, at long last, becomes an elder (and I forgot to take a pic, whoops). It's about time for him to retire from the limelight of professional sports. Carmine sees the opportunity to pick Maurice's brain.
"Well, the spread they're quoting from Vegas is crap. I'm running my own numbers on that one. Do you know anything about the quarterback? I hear he has a problem with nose candy."
Maurice doesn't mind giving his professional input. Carmine has helped their family out a lot.
When Arturo hears about Maurice's work with Carmine, he gets bothered.
Hot and bothered.
"Oooh, I've never made it with a degenerate gambler before. . ."
"I'm not a degenerate gambler. He asked about the q.b. for the Llamas. Hell, everyone knows that guy puts more cash up his nose than. . .mmmmmm. . .Artie, jeez."
"What? Let me cover the spread. . ."
"Be careful, I'm old and delicate."
"Old, yeah. Delicate? Hardly."
It turns out Maurice isn't the only Extreme brain Carmine's interested in picking.
"You and Tito can work for me if you want. I hear you're especially good with numbers? Can you keep a ledger?"
Giorgio's not entirely sure he wants to get into the family business. He heard about his father's trip down that bumpy road. If it wasn't for his grandfather, Silvio, giving his father the out with that pretend "state's witness" story he might not even exist.
"Uh, the dads really want us to focus on school right now. They want us to get as many college scholarships as possible."
"Oh, I could help you out. What's family for, Giorgio?"
Giorgio also knows Crabby Dad is in debt to his brother, Carmine. How else could they afford to pay for private school, the new house, and. . .
. . .the two new babies. He's not upset by it, exactly, but he knows what's up. Tito's well aware, too, but chooses not to acknowledge it as openly.
It's only a day or so after Maurice's elder transition that Arturo joins him in old age.
Giorgio gets a little nervous when he sees his uncle Carmine staring at him. Giorgio gets the feeling Carmine will start using the geriatric Maurice and Arturo as a tool to leverage Giorgio and Tito into the family business. Do all teenagers have this much family weirdness?
Arturo's noticed Carmine's interest in his sons, too. He knows they're good boys but he hopes the lure of easy money won't pull them in like it did him at their age. Arturo doesn't have the influence his father, the Godfather of the DeTreville crime family, did. He wouldn't be able to help his sons out if they choose that path.
While Arturo and Giorgio worry about the future, Tito's focus is firmly on the present. The alien twins (as they've become known) are about to become children. Tito wants it to be special. So he invites some guests.
He knows Rubina and Rosalie from school. They're sort of relatives. So he invites the whole family over (including the cat!).
"Your Guiseppe's son, right?"
Arturo gets to know his nephew a little better.
While Dweezil takes a shine to Jack.
And Desmonda enjoys the food they put out for their feline guest.
While Jack is very accepting of the toddlers, he's not so keen on a stray dog that shows up at the door.
No one pays much attention to Jack's spatt.
It's cake time.
This time, Miss Desmonda goes first.
Really, who can resist that little face? Here's hoping she's not a holy terror for being so spoiled.
Dweezil also shakes off the shackles of toddlerhood.
As the party starts to wind down, Maurice tries to retire to his bed.
But those two love birds just HAVE to have an audience for their make out session (honestly, they autonimously make out all the time, even I'm getting tired of seeing it--ok, so that's a lie).
Seeing how much Dweezil loved Jack, his older brothers get him a belated birthday gift (to go along with his child makeover).
"Fun Daddy, LOOK! I'm a CAT. Now my ears are almost exactly like Crabby Daddy's."
Maurice is shocked by how much Dweezil looks like Arturo.
But who's that in the background? Is that Miss Desmonda? What's with her hair?
As if Arturo's host of unfortunate outfits over the years (did you see his elder outfit?) didn't already make it abundantly clear, Desmonda's rather. . .unique. . .hairstyle should put the final nail in the coffin of the "all gay males know everything about fashion and hair and makeup" stereotype.
But it does show off her lovely pointed ears. And she loves it. And if Miss Desmonda is happy, everyone is happy (or damn well should be).