So Basically...there was a hospitalization
And not a lot of people know this. The day of my graduation my mom believes she OD'ed on meds: xanax, oxycodon, trazodone...the day after graduation she wanted to hurt herself. Spent the next few days bouncing between 5150, psychiatric wards, and finally landed at Vista del Mar hospital. I got to check my mom in to an acute care unit for detox/withdrawal help. She was there for 7 days. She got to come home yesterday. Today they started her on outpatient.
It's been hell. Hell took its toll on my body in the form of exhaustion. The first days were really hard and I got to deal with all sorts of feelings: anger, frustration, regret, anger again, guilt, fear, more anger. I went out one night to play pool and drink and finally tell some people what's been going on. They were very helpful in keeping the mood light and fun that night, also heavily boozed. Saturday was a show, which is more booze, Sunday I went out to Mal with Kevin which was nice to talk about everything but mom. By this time I'd had 6 heavy drinking days in 2 weeks, I didn't booze as much.
It's hard to help your father while he's crying one day, then help your mom while she's crying the next. It's hard to maintain an even emotion when you have so many yourself. It's hard not voicing what you really feel because it will only feed into a bad situation. So I let it out in small spurts with friends. A few have been very helpful, and as usual, some became scarce. Que sera...Keep moving forward. Also my brother is very absent in the process. Go figure.
So this has been my family life since graduation on May 19th.
Lucky me, I start GRE classes Monday. And my mentor called, she's got work for me.
It's been hell. Hell took its toll on my body in the form of exhaustion. The first days were really hard and I got to deal with all sorts of feelings: anger, frustration, regret, anger again, guilt, fear, more anger. I went out one night to play pool and drink and finally tell some people what's been going on. They were very helpful in keeping the mood light and fun that night, also heavily boozed. Saturday was a show, which is more booze, Sunday I went out to Mal with Kevin which was nice to talk about everything but mom. By this time I'd had 6 heavy drinking days in 2 weeks, I didn't booze as much.
It's hard to help your father while he's crying one day, then help your mom while she's crying the next. It's hard to maintain an even emotion when you have so many yourself. It's hard not voicing what you really feel because it will only feed into a bad situation. So I let it out in small spurts with friends. A few have been very helpful, and as usual, some became scarce. Que sera...Keep moving forward. Also my brother is very absent in the process. Go figure.
So this has been my family life since graduation on May 19th.
Lucky me, I start GRE classes Monday. And my mentor called, she's got work for me.