(no subject)
So....It kinda gives me the jibblies...that Erika is the spitting image of my father...Like...omg...its freaky...I've never been able to find any resemblance of either of my parents in me....but my dads wife made a staement...and i never realized this before...but...she said...part of why my aunt is such a douche bag is because she is threatened by me because I'm beautiful...and I was like... "what?!?!"....and she was like...well look at the rest of your family...and i thought about it for a second...and my family is not the most attractive bunch..on either side...and...in my close family...I really am one of the best looking...and I'm not just saying that out of vanity or anything...cause...look at My aunt and Victoria....yea..I've also learned a lot about AV that I never knew before..and the more I learn the more I dislike....
So...omg....I really dont think I'll ever have kids...its so much trouble....you always have to watch their every move...you turn around and their...like...dying or something...like today...I was chillin on the bed with Erika...and I look up at the TV for like...maybe 30 seconds...I look back down and shes got something in her mouth...and I like...freaked out cause I didnt know what it was....It turned out to be a potato chip luckily...but still...it was kinda scary...I had no idea what kinda of small object capable of chocking a small child was laying around on that bed....
so......you know how...you always hear people say how much they wish they were still a kid or a baby...I decided tonight that...I REALLY dont wanna be a baby again cause it sux....Like...you're in the worst pain of the short life you've lived...adn you cant tell anyone whats wrong...thus no one can stop the pain...youre at the will of God and your parents...well...I guess you're always at the will of God...but..you get it...I've just always been Very independent...like...since i was little...I took care of my brother...I cooked and cleaned...well...lol..I cooked...I had a job when I was like...11...and I WILL NEVER!! rely on anyone...especially a man....to do the things I need to do...now..I dont have a problam asking for help...but never will I rely...I refuse to let my life fall apart when things change...when something bad happens...life goes on...minus the effects of the bad event...
So...I miss school...and the structure...my room!!!....my phone!!!....and the being able to do what I want....even walking to warm-ups at 6:30 with Carri!!! And I really miss Tim...cause...there's been a lot of stuff that I wanna talk about...but its Tim stuff...you know how certain things you can only talk about with certain people cause only they would understand and only they would know what to say....and I definately miss Skip....I havent been practicing like I should...and it gets me down...and he would snap me back into shap.....I kinda feel bad for playing in the APT cause im so close to everyone...I've probably ticked them off a lot the past week or so...not that I'm too concerned...I mean...I've been more than curteous...I never practice after like 8:30...or before 11:30....so im not keeping anyone awake....
So...omg....I really dont think I'll ever have kids...its so much trouble....you always have to watch their every move...you turn around and their...like...dying or something...like today...I was chillin on the bed with Erika...and I look up at the TV for like...maybe 30 seconds...I look back down and shes got something in her mouth...and I like...freaked out cause I didnt know what it was....It turned out to be a potato chip luckily...but still...it was kinda scary...I had no idea what kinda of small object capable of chocking a small child was laying around on that bed....
so......you know how...you always hear people say how much they wish they were still a kid or a baby...I decided tonight that...I REALLY dont wanna be a baby again cause it sux....Like...you're in the worst pain of the short life you've lived...adn you cant tell anyone whats wrong...thus no one can stop the pain...youre at the will of God and your parents...well...I guess you're always at the will of God...but..you get it...I've just always been Very independent...like...since i was little...I took care of my brother...I cooked and cleaned...well...lol..I cooked...I had a job when I was like...11...and I WILL NEVER!! rely on anyone...especially a man....to do the things I need to do...now..I dont have a problam asking for help...but never will I rely...I refuse to let my life fall apart when things change...when something bad happens...life goes on...minus the effects of the bad event...
So...I miss school...and the structure...my room!!!....my phone!!!....and the being able to do what I want....even walking to warm-ups at 6:30 with Carri!!! And I really miss Tim...cause...there's been a lot of stuff that I wanna talk about...but its Tim stuff...you know how certain things you can only talk about with certain people cause only they would understand and only they would know what to say....and I definately miss Skip....I havent been practicing like I should...and it gets me down...and he would snap me back into shap.....I kinda feel bad for playing in the APT cause im so close to everyone...I've probably ticked them off a lot the past week or so...not that I'm too concerned...I mean...I've been more than curteous...I never practice after like 8:30...or before 11:30....so im not keeping anyone awake....