[FANFIC] Lacrymosa
Title: Lacrymosa
Pairing: JUMP x FC (drama/crossovers)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Tragedy?
Author: macy
Rating: PG...13? it is a bit dark... (well, the last one sure is)
AN:
- lol. i thought i deleted it. thank God it's still here.
- drabbles inspired by Evanescence songs (hangover from the concert. XD)- some of the pairings doesn't really make any sense. and the plots doesn't make much sense either lol. just read if you feel like it. /shot
- unbetaed
#001 - Broken
Mano Erina (Satori of SPEC) x Arioka Daiki (Toru Sonobe of Engine)
Toru Sonobe's POV
It was the only picture of us. It was taken during our sports festival in high school.
She had always been the popular girl. She was smart, she was always cheerful, always nice to everyone and she was very beautiful. She was everyone's Satori.
Me? I had always been the outcast. I've always unconsciously build up walls between me and everyone else. I've always just been that weird, quiet guy sitting in the corner of the classroom. I knew it was stupid, but I didn't know how to mingle with them. I was afraid I would be rejected so instead, I rejected them.
But still, each and every day, she never fail to approach me, smile at me and greet me. I don't talk to her, but every day at lunch, she would sit by me and we would eat together, with her chatting me up animatedly. I don't really contribute to the conversation, but I listen to her.
She told me once she wanted to have a story like Cinderella's. I was surprised then when she suddenly moved her face very close to me.
"You smiled! You just smiled!" She said, beaming at me.
I just nodded, feeling my face grew hot.
That was when I asked her the question I've always wanted to ask.
"Why... why do you always talk to me?" I asked cautiously, not really sure if I said that correctly.
She beamed and said, "Because out of everyone here, you're the one who genuinely likes me." She said confidently.
"W-what?" I asked, feeling more hot than ever.
She smiled. "Everyone else doesn't really like me. It's just for show. But you... you try not to show it but you like me."
And after that, we became close. I knew her more and more. And I found out another side of her.
I found her crying by the emergency staircase.
"Satori?"
She looked up at me, and cried more. "Sonobe-kun..."
I approached her, but I really didn't know what to do so I just crouched close to her. "What happened?"
"I... I'm just exhausted..." She sobbed. "I just want a break. I just want a day when I don't have to pretend."
"What do you mean?" I asked, awkwardly patting her on the back.
"Everyone hates me." She said.
"No. Of course not." I said quickly.
"No, you don't understand. I knew it. I've known it all along. I know what they're all thinking about." She said.
I was quiet for a while as she continued to cry.
"A, I don't hate you." I said, feeling more and more awkward.
She suddenly let a dry sob and hugged me.
I regret I was so afraid then. I regret I didn't take risks. I regret that have this photograph to hold on to.
Can I see her again, I wonder? Can I tell her someday?
I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
AN:
*spoilers*
- Satori can read minds so she literally 'knows' what they're thinking
- Sonobe Toru's dad is in prison because of killing his mom so since he was little, he generally closes himself off from other people.
-
#002 - Taking Over Me
Shida Mirai (Minami Megumi) x Yamada Ryosuke (Amakusa Ryuu)
from Tantei Gakuen Q
Minami Megu's POV
It was silly but when I looked at the gun, I couldn't help but flinch. It took a lot of effort not to crouch down and cry.
Just looking at the gun brought back memories that never really faded. That never woud.
It brought back memories about that last case... that case that took Kyuu and Ryuu from me.
The last case Class Q ever took.
Class Q is no more, but I still wanted to continue being a detective... for Kyuu and Ryuu as well... for their dreams. Cause they couldn't do it now, then I will.
That last case... it was the downfall of the remaining Pluto members; it was also the downfall of Dan Morihiko.
One bullet. It only took one bullet directed to me... and Kyuu was gone. Ryuu was so mortified, so in rage, he went berserk. He killed the perpetrator and then he was lost, too. The doctor said it was trauma. He couldn't remember anything about Class Q anymore. Selective amnesia, they called it. It was his mind's defence... it was protecting him from breaking down completely. So for his own good, he was sent away from us. Sent away to live life away from all our horrors.
Sometimes I wished I also have amnesia. Cause I was left out to live in our horrors.
Kazuma moved away as well after the case and he never contacted us again.
Kinta. I still see him from time to time but it's as if there never was a Q class. As if everything didn't happened. As if he too, have ab amnnesia. Maybe he do. But I don't. And I can never forget. Not me.
It was silly, and I knew I needed to get used to gun since I'll start working with it from now on.
But it was the next thing I saw that as good as killed me.
It was him. Him in here, with me.
My superior started introducing us to each other, saying we would be working with each other from now on.
For a while, we only stared at each other. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I couldn't believe he's back here, with me. My Ryuu...
He looked at me, hard. Does he remember me now?
Suddenly, he shook his head and smiled at me. He offered a hand, saying he was pleased to meet me.
He doesn't remember me...
And I don't recognize him. He changed.
It took a few more seconds before I got a hold of myself and took his hand. I shouldn't have. The touch had brought me more memories. Memories of us... Happy ones instead of the painful ones. Ironically, it hurts more.
You don't remember me but I remember you
For a few weeks, I try hard to work with him as if I haven't met him before. As if he's just my acquiantance... But it was hard. He changed, but somehow he didn't. His gestures, those small movements he make. Sometimes, I think he does it unconsciously, even. And they brought more and more memories. Memories of class Q when we were much younger. And memories of the two of us...
Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had?
It was that small gesture, that one small gesture...
Is it really him?
We were eating lunch together with our co-workers and I was seated besides him, unfortunately.
I try to ignore him, but he was chatting me up. I listened, it wasn't as if I could ignore him. Not really, not ever.
He praised the food, saying it was his favorite. I just smiled in response.
He then suddenly took a piece from his food and turned to me, as if wanting to feed me.
He stopped abruptly as he realized what he was about to do. He looked so confused.
And I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and ran out, never looking back even as the others called me.
I went at the back of the building and just started crying. It was so hard... oh so hard to pretend, to act as if nothing happened. To see him, to be with him, but to never reach him.
Because it wasn't really him. He is still lost. He was so near yet so far. And I don't know if I can hold on to my sanity any longer.
I heard the door opened and I looked up.
It was him. He followed me.
I took a step back. A step away from him. I was scared; Not really of him, but of the pain. I don't want to hurt anymore.
He looked lost and sad. He didn't seemed to notice I was cautious of him, or maybe he just ignored it. He approached me and took my hand.
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
He looked so confused, but determined as well. There were so many feelings playing in his eyes. And then I understood. He doesn't remember me, no. But...
I knew you loved me then
"Minami-san..." He whispered. "Minam-- Me- Megu? You're... you're Megu..." He started saying, and he looked panicked. He suddenly clutched at his head and started screaming.
He.. he's trying to remember. But he can't. He's still lost inside there.
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live, to breathe
You're taking over me.
-
#003 - My Last Breath
Kawashima Umika (Takagi Haruka of Bloody Monday) x Chinen Yuri (Ihara Hayato of Ending Planner)
Haruka's POV
I met him in high school. Well, before that. It was during our entrance exam. He caught my interest because he had called my name.
"Haruka." I didn't realize there was a 'neechan' with the name. He was actually calling his sister's name. But I already looked at him, and he looked back at me. It was awkward so I turned away, feeling a bit embarrassed.
I couldn't believe when in the opening ceremony, I found out he would be my classmate.
He smiled at me and introduced himself.
"Ihara Hayato." He said.
I smiled back, a bit sheepishly. "Takagi Haruka." I said.
"Ah, so that's why you looked at me. You have the same name as my neechan." He said, laughing a bit.
"Yeah, I thought someone was calling me..." I said.
That was the only time we talked to each other directly for the whole first semester. It wasn't because we were avoiding each other. It was simply because it's high school, and he have his own group of friends as I have mine.
He is very cheerful, and he is always surrounded with friends. Some of the girls like him because he's a charmer.
During the second semester, we were made to sit besides each other, and we started becoming friends. It was then that I found out his family's business. It was our dismissal, and coincidentally we were the only ones left in the classroom (I had prefect duties, and he had cleaning duties) so we walked down the building together. That was when I saw his brother.
'Ken-nii.' he had muttered, when he saw him. One look and you'd know exactly that they ran a funeral service.
"Ah, so that's your family's business..." I commented, without any thought. I then saw Hayato scowl.
I was surprised. He too, looked surprised and he looked at me apologetically.
He sighed. "I... I just don't like home very much." He said.
Well, I guess I can understand a bit. It must not be a cheerful home...
I just smiled at him. He raised a brow at me.
"Don't scowl. It doesn't suit you." I just told him, effectively changing the subject. He smiled gratefully.
After that, we became closer. I didn't know what I did but it he started telling me more and more about his family. About their life, about his frustrations, about feeling a bit neglected by his dad, about his missing his mom. In return, I try to comfort him, and I too tell him stories about me and my brother. About losing my dad, about almost losing my brother as well.
"You favor each other." One of my friends said one day. And I knew it was true.
"I guess, we're similar in some ways." I just told her.
And we shared more and more of our lives to each other. And shared more and more memories together. He said I am his best friend. He said I'm very important to him.
And he is to me as well. But not just as a best friend. I found out I am falling for him.
It was during our second semester in second year that he found out about my condition. It was then that I needed to have dialysis once more. I still go to school as usual, but it scared me. I thought it was all over after the transplantation.
My brother was very worried of me, and he started driving me to and from school. So me and Hayato couldn't hang out as much as we did.
I couldn't go to school in our senior year cause I needed to be confined to the hospital. The doctors said my body was rejecting the transplant.
Every week, Hayato would go to the hospital and visit me. Every time, he woud update me on what was happening in school and how everybody is. That was my favorite times.
It was during the last semester of school that I knew there was no hope.
And he must knew it as well.
"If I died, I want your family to arrange my funeral, ne..." I had joked once. I was surprised when Hayato had glared at me. But I was more surprised to see tears welling in his eyes.
"My family wouldn't cause you're not going to die." He had told me.
I didn't know what else to do so I just smiled at him.
"You won't." He insisted.
I let out a giggle. "Don't worry, I'm not trying." I told him, but still he didn't smile.
It was the first day of summer when I knew it was finally time.
This time, Hayato wasn't refraining himself. He was openingly crying, holding onto my hand.
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
I wanted to say something, but I felt so weak.
I knew this was it.
This was goodbye.
All I wanted to say was, "I love you and I'm not afraid"
I just smiled at him. It was the only thing I could offer now. I just wish I could tell him before everything ends. But maybe he knows. Maybe he can hear my silence and the meaning behind it.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
He clutched at my hand still; as if he never wanted to let it go.
I just lied there, looking at him.
Holding my last breath
I was thankful he is the last I would see.
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
And gradually, it gets colder and colder. My hands felt number and number and soon I couldn't feel him anymore.
It starts getting darker, and his face faded away to blackness.
And I heard one last thing. "I love you, too, Haruka."
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
AN:
- i am not updated with Ending Planner so excuse me if this doesn't fit the drama. /shot
- in Bloody Monday 2, Haruka had kidney transplant at the end, but it can still go wrong. /whacked. there are still a mortality rate after kidney transplant.
-
#004 - Everybody's Fool
Ohgo Suzuka (Hosho Mizuki of Shibatora) x Nakajima Yuto (Kurahashi Haruo of Primadam)
Hosho Mizuki's POV
I kept running and running.
I don't know what to do anymore. I am suffocating.
Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
And still, I kept running. I feel as if someone was following. I feel so scared. But I knew it wasn't a rational feeling. I always felt scared.
I saw the broom closet. Following my instinct, I opened the door and went inside. What I want to do is escape, but I didn't know how.
I closed the door and locked it. The darkness engulfed me. And that calmed me somehow, but it's not enough.
"Good morning, anata..." Father please stop. I'm not mother.
I pushed both my hands to my ears even though I knew it wouldn't help.
"Anata..." He called again, sweetly, as he light his cigarette.
"Stop it!!!" I screamed.
I could feel liquid trailing down my face.
Tears? They must be.
And then she felt it again, the burning, scorching feeling.
-
"Mizuki-chan! Is that a new cellphone?"
"Yes, it's from my dad."
"You're so lucky!!"
Lies.
-
"Wow, you're dad's awesome, Mizuki-chan!"
Lies.
-
"Mizuki, mom loves you very much. No matter what happened. Everything will be okay, so don't be afraid, okay?"
Everything is a lie. My life is a lie.
Without a mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself
Lost in your lies.
I could feel myself shaking. I don't know what's happening to me. It's as if I'm not in control of myself. I stood up, and my arms flailed and it slamed to the mirror.
Sound of glasses breaking filled the room. And I felt hot liquid trickle down my hand.
It hurts. So much.
I gasped, crouching down and looking at my hand.
And I knew what I must do. I picked up one piece of the broken mirror and for a while stared at it, transfixed.
I heard something. Someone seems to be shouting, but I'm not sure.
Cut.
It hurt. And I felt fresh hot liquid trickle down.
It's not enough.
Cut.
More and more liquid.
Red hot liquid.
Cut.
I can smile now as I feel numbness grew. I'll be able to be free soon.
Cut.
But then suddenly there was light. The door was opened.
It was blurry, but I saw a face. It wasn't someone I knew, but his face is familiar.
A student in this school as well. Someone from another class.
"Hosho-san!" He shouted.
A name played in my head.
Kurahashi. Kurahashi Haruo.
I've seen him before looking at me from inside their classroom while I passed by the hallway with my so-called 'friends'.
"Hosho-san!" He repeated and I saw him take something from his pocket. A handkerchief. I felt him wrap it around my wrist.
"What did you do?" I heard him murmur so very softly. And his tone...
It was a tone of something distinctly familiar; something that I've haven't heard for so long... from since my mom died.
Concern. Care.
I vaguely realized he had scooped me up. He started telling me soothing words. I don't really understand, but it brought me feelings that I've not felt for so long.
Peace.
-
Hosho Mizuki woke up with a start.
For a few seconds, she was disconcerted.
She realized she was back in her room.
She smiled. It was more of a leer, something that doesn't suit her tame face.
"Kurahashi Haruo." She said softly. "My tourniquet."
For some years, she had thought of him as her savior. He had saved her from herself. And she was thankful.
But it was all wrong.
He shouldn't have stopped her.
He shouldn't have come.
She didn't need a tourniquet. He should just have let her bleed.
He had stopped her from being free.
She almost had her salvation.
She was back... back to nothing.
Because she...
Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow now you're everybody's fool
-
AN:
- i haven't finished watching shibatora as well. lols, but her character kinda fits here so i used her.
- haven't watched primadam, but i think it still fits since he just helped her, really. it's all about hosho mizuki. /bricked
- 'Lacrymosa' is latin of 'to weep' xD
- i wanted to write a HikaHaru as well with the song 'Where Will You Go' as prompt, but I can't think of anything. lols.
- hope i didn't fail. first time trying this genre.
Thanks for reading~!