Should be better but
I’m just under performing yet the world is leaving me alone to an extent for the most part. I’m in an organization that is very shallow on their bench. But it’s not uncommon for places to experience “shrinkFlation” although some entities have been doing it politically for years.
I feel as if I should be doing so much more but like the Military in wartime people get those “battlefield promotions” I feel as if I kinda am in one as someone in the development program
Also working remotely for a place many miles away does out a different take on things. It’s odd as I have to adapt to their culture and yet it seems that people are kinda curious that I’m the “Anglo” guy. In some ways I’m glad I hooked up with two Hispanic women with one of Colour. But at the same time there is some detachment that I don’t or wouldn’t want to get with any of them. It’s not like my life has been great over the last little while but if I was to get married again it would be someone from the pool of people I “Work” with in sense. It’s not like I’m done catch at this moment but there are other groups I’m not interested in either.
Life is different 2+ years in this thing and now with a world war of sorts going on. If I could I’d be somewhere in Florida right now hanging with my Russian from Eastern part of conflict zone buddy who ended up in SFL as his wife from the old country is divorcing him. For me I’d find some Lana Del Rey traumatized trust fund girl Around 30 to get drunk with & whatever with around the beach.
Is that ideal or healthy probably not but again I’m not the “man” that wartime required to sire a family. Let alone having the $. The elites are happy that I’m some peacock craft beer drinking depression era newspaper boy hat wearing guy.
What is it going to take to snap me into exceeding as a made man? Who knows I still am faking it using the above looks and mannerism style wise. It’s ironic that I’m doing western equity inclusion diversity training stuff over the next couple of weeks. Are they going to explain how I coast along due to factors they I can’t control? Who knows but it just may remind me that the other parts of life like love is merit based?
We shall see but I find it there even though I have written a bit here I have been severely slacking in writing don’t work. Anyways back to me drinking a 3.8% beer listening to a hipster couple with a guy wearing that kind of hat!!!