I need something to hold on to
So I'm again at a Starbuks in Canada just hanging out. I like certain items here & I do come over & buy them whenever I can. It gives me something to hold on to that is Canadian.
So basically I have very few in real life friends left. Most of my social integration lately is from work. When work goes bad it makes me sad as I like my co-workers & such. So when my neighbor retired they ended up putting some nasty bar hag type in her seat. Now it's only 2.5 hours a day but she chain smokes & I'm guessing everywhere. She had that nasty voice & from my perspective is of bad character. It's just that her 3rd hand smoke is so bad that it makes me physically ill hours after I leave work. So I got to the point where I just had to move. So you would think that since she's temporary that she's move after me consoling? Nope I work for the govt & everything they do does not make sense & is absurd.
So even though I so need the money Badly, I cannot wait to get laid off (which will be soon due to a political party going to war with my agency by cutting their budget by 300 million from last year.
So I just sit here & wonder maybe the universe is telling me something? I have more in real life contacts here in Canada & I do like it here. Although to be honest it is way expensive to live here & I don't think I can do it comfortably. Plus I have my car payment & I can't switch the plates until it paid off.
But anyways hopefully when I get laid off soon I can do some exploring & try to make something of myself instead of living this great conceptual life in my head. I mean it is sad I have an MBA, a prestigious car brand some money to my name but I don't have any prospect of "love" or relationships. I'm not getting any younger & everyone is not going to be in my life forever.
I just want to be left alone & just interact with descent people. Canada has more descent people for the most part than the part of the USA where I live.
But anyway it is sad how my life is dependent on things that most people think are stupid. Sorry but I do sweat the small stuff. I just wish someone would say "there there" & hand me a towel in a living way.