what ive realized here in chile...

[mackitmp06]

i have realized that i am my worst enemy. i know everything about myself. i have destroyed many things but i have built some too. i have lost,loved fiercely,destroyed,built,laughed,cried,fallen into the very depths of darkness and slowly risen to the light. i have created my wings from my experiences and circumstances and have risen above them. i have died inside and come to life. i have lived vivdly and brightly. i have found friends who are more like family. i have been loved fiercely and hated just as much.i lost my sanity on a rainy night with my two sister friends around me and i lost it again in a foreign country and i realize that there is nothing like the warmth of uncircumstantial love that only true sister friends can give. i have lost,won,and lost again,and despite all these things that i have managed to do, all these terrors and sad despairing times i am still here standing stronger than ever.even if i fall again or lose again which will surely happen i know i can survive not because i am meant to or am forced to but because i want to. i want to live life and all its many faces,when lying on my deathbed i want people to remember me because i lived to the fullest,beautifully and tragically. i want people to remember that life never defeated me no matter what happened. no matter how far down i sunk i always managed to rise again.i want to be resilient and i want to be remebered for that resiliency. i have learned here in chile that i am me macarena noemi valenzuela cordova, i am american and i am chilean, i am many things and i am exactly what i want to be. i have realized what friends are truly my friends here. i realize i am ready for my future and i can face it head on with all the strength and wisdom i have acquired and hopign that i will acquire more. i love all of you who have been with me on my many adventures(you know who you are...lol) and i love you my sister friends and i look forward to our bright and beautiful future together.
peace and finally understanding
macki

*i am fairly agile i can bend and not break. i can break and take it with a smile and i am so resilient i´ll recover quickly, i´ll convince you soon that i am fine* dashboard confessional