FUCK LIVEJOURNAL
Now I know I have said time and time again "I fucking hate live journal" but sometimes I just feel like I gotta say something. maybe because I'm too much of a pussy to say shit to your face (by shit I mean how I feel, what I think, etc.) but we all got stuff on our chest. For a while there I was trying to keep an actual journal, so I didn't have to post gay shit on lj, but it kinda dawned on me that the only reader would probably only be myself, and what good is knowing what you already know. so without further adeui (I think that's how you spell it o.O) I give you burlz's second (maybe third) serious live journal entry.
I actually already wrote a lot of this shit but somehow clicking through the windows I lost most of the entry. I'll pick up from the beginning so as not to let you guys out on anything. Why is it we always want what we can never have? why do we try so hard for something that we know wont be ours? I can't say dont do it because I'm definitly guilty of doing this. The same girl has been on my mind for the past 8 months now and even from day 1 I knew nothing was ever going to happen. No matter how hard I try to just forget, all this shit will come rushing back to me while I"m having a morning cigarette. I'll think of her again, not so much the memories, but of her. I've been through a lot of the same moments, each with different women, but the ones with her always stick out because of who I was with. But what makes it so hard is I'll never be with her, I know I wont, but yet I can't forget. That's what I meant by why do we always want what we can never have.
I dont like admitting it but I'm so envious of people that have "their own thing." Now I dont mean of people that simply have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but of people that really have something special. I hate to say it man, but like when I saw tommy and kaylee, I hate to bring up anything if he reads this but from my perspective they were really something special. heh, beyond that I've never really seen any other people with something special. I'll tell you right now, I dont want something usual, I dont want the same old thing. I guess in a way, that's really why I dont ever go out there looking for someone. Just because I see the same old shit in just about every girl I meet. ahh enough on this subject, I dont like thinking about it because I'm trying hard to forget.
You know I didn't really know what it meant to have a weak spot so to speak. I couldn't quite understand it when I was first told it. but now that I'm thinking about it, I have a weak spot, and I hate it, fucking hate it. There's really not much else for me to say, I feel as though I've been a huge hypocrit about this whole "Just forget about them" thing now. Because truth is, you can't just forget about them, they're the things that made your life into what it is now and what it was then. They changed you for the better, or in some cases the worse, but whatever it was they changed you. And people like that dont come around often, and I guarantee you next time it happens I wont just stand by and say nothing, I'll say what I have to say.
ps. FUCK LIVE JOURNAL
I actually already wrote a lot of this shit but somehow clicking through the windows I lost most of the entry. I'll pick up from the beginning so as not to let you guys out on anything. Why is it we always want what we can never have? why do we try so hard for something that we know wont be ours? I can't say dont do it because I'm definitly guilty of doing this. The same girl has been on my mind for the past 8 months now and even from day 1 I knew nothing was ever going to happen. No matter how hard I try to just forget, all this shit will come rushing back to me while I"m having a morning cigarette. I'll think of her again, not so much the memories, but of her. I've been through a lot of the same moments, each with different women, but the ones with her always stick out because of who I was with. But what makes it so hard is I'll never be with her, I know I wont, but yet I can't forget. That's what I meant by why do we always want what we can never have.
I dont like admitting it but I'm so envious of people that have "their own thing." Now I dont mean of people that simply have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but of people that really have something special. I hate to say it man, but like when I saw tommy and kaylee, I hate to bring up anything if he reads this but from my perspective they were really something special. heh, beyond that I've never really seen any other people with something special. I'll tell you right now, I dont want something usual, I dont want the same old thing. I guess in a way, that's really why I dont ever go out there looking for someone. Just because I see the same old shit in just about every girl I meet. ahh enough on this subject, I dont like thinking about it because I'm trying hard to forget.
You know I didn't really know what it meant to have a weak spot so to speak. I couldn't quite understand it when I was first told it. but now that I'm thinking about it, I have a weak spot, and I hate it, fucking hate it. There's really not much else for me to say, I feel as though I've been a huge hypocrit about this whole "Just forget about them" thing now. Because truth is, you can't just forget about them, they're the things that made your life into what it is now and what it was then. They changed you for the better, or in some cases the worse, but whatever it was they changed you. And people like that dont come around often, and I guarantee you next time it happens I wont just stand by and say nothing, I'll say what I have to say.
ps. FUCK LIVE JOURNAL