Fic: In Dreams [PG-13]
Darkness surrounded a dark-haired man dressed in proper Academy attire. Looking through the space, the realization of who he was looking at hit him. John was looking at himself, though not through himself. He was looking down at himself, watching as he walked down a…corridor maybe? The man continued along that set path, feeling out the invisible wall until it opened up into a star-lit meadow.
After having set foot onto the greenness, the darkness behind him was replaced with the same flowery field set before him. He wasn’t too concerned with what was behind, more with the similarly clad figure meters away. A soft light played over the figure even without a visible source of light from above; aside from the bright constellations above.
John continued move further into the unkempt grass. Toward the man who had decided to turn away before John could come close enough to recognize him. Approaching cautiously now he noticed the fields in the distance started to disappear. The further he walked the closer the new edge became until finally it stopped short at the other’s feet.
The two figures stood there in the near-dark, the stationary one peering over the newly created cliff face while the new arrival attempted to make the best of the situation.
“You know, ‘Sawbones’, your dreamscapes are normally pretty entertaining to watch. I think Freud would have a field-day.” Apparently content with the idea that the edge would not move further he sat down; feet dangling off towards an endless abyss. “That last one though…” the sound made in his throat clearly disapproving. “Don’t worry, you won’t remember it.”
John wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation. Obviously everything around him wasn’t real. The entire set had a frosted haze, the man who sat next to him included. Yet there was a mental clarity he normally didn’t experience; John could think and ration instead of only react to the situations thrown in front of him. All of that being said, he had very little control over the man sitting beside him or the landscape behind him.
John couldn’t even tell who he was talking to, his face either obscured by their now difference in height. To compensate, John sat next to the equally dark-haired man.
“I’m a little frustrated at myself,” the man stated nonchalantly; finally turning his hazel-green eyes towards John. A mirror image. “You look surprised. Or is that I look surprised? Either way…” he shrugged.
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
Again, the disappointment, “I’ll give you some time to make up your mind. Sadly, you won’t remember this either.”
--
Consciousness was a bitch, John decided. The tremor that had wracked his system last night was no more than a memory now; however the aftershocks were there. It was an odd sensation, to be in control of your body yet without the precise control he had normally been granted. He groaned.
The man behind him took notice of John’s subtle stirring, “Good morning. How are you feeling?” Arms he had only now realized that were there tightened their hold against him. Jim pressed up from behind, which was all quite normal…except that the usual morning need hadn’t accompanied him. For that matter, when had Jim found time to put on clothing?
A little baffled John leaned back nonetheless. “I could go for a coffee or something,” voice like gravel. “Don’t seem to want to get moving.” A yawn. What time was it anyway?
Oh shit!
Wide awake now John threw the blankets off, scrambling out of bed. Or rather, would have been if Jim could only let go long enough.
“Dammit! Why didn’t you wake me? I’m already an hour late for class!” For that matter, the kid was going to be late if they were both attempting to use the bathroom at the same time. “Jesus, let go so I can get ready!” Fine. The damned kid could hang along for the ride.
“Hey!” Jim exclaimed as John made to stand up. The younger man wrapped his legs against John’s nude form for an impromptu piggy back ride. “You’re pretty lively for a guy who was completely comatose through two morning alarms.”
“Get off before I throw you off,” he warned. Jim seemed completely unabated by the verbal threat.
The martial instructor kept a firm yet loose grip on his would-be opponent. “Your Commander would be surprised to see you in class today. Leonard McCoy called in another personal day two hours ago.”
“You can’t just hack into my terminal and-“
“I did and you’re free from Academy life for another day. Unless you would like to pass out in middle of a crowded hallway much like you did several times on the trip back last night. Something tells me you wouldn’t want a free trip to see medical as a patient.”
He’s right. John sighed, letting the built up adrenalin filter from his body, “Thanks.”
Realizing the danger had subsided, Jim hopped off of the older man, “Don’t mention it. For being the ‘level headed one’ you certainly have been easy to anger these past few days.” He picked up where he left off getting ready for the day’s classes; throwing trousers over boxers before suit jacket over undershirt.
John watched it all from his reclaimed spot in the bed. “I’m not sure what’s come over me, I haven’t been myself at all.” The quiet sound of a ‘hum’ was the only answer he received in response.
It was an unusual sight; normally it would be him getting ready at the crack of dawn with Jim lounging before nodding back off. Not that he particular minded the switch at the moment. Sleep was setting in for him again, he could feel it.
“Yeah, there’s definitely something wrong with you. You’re never this eager to fall back to sleep by yourself.”
“I feel as though I couldn’t sleep at all last night.” While John would admit he missed Jim’s presence, he certainly didn’t mind having space to sprawl out for once.
“You didn’t; at least not well.” A smile spread, reaching up to his tired eyes. “I decided to stay up after the second time you woke me, then you went still…For everything I tried you wouldn’t wake.” He frowned, lost in thought. “I’ll swing by around lunch if you want.”
Rolling around to get a better look at the blonde, he made a face. “No thanks.”
Jim shook his head, “What will you do if you ever manage to get aboard a starship? Starve? It’s perfectly good food, even if you complain about it every other day.”
--
Clocks.
Thousands of clocks shelved in a white-walled building. Pendulums swinging at their paces as hands circled round. For all of the motion, the only sounds John could hear were his footfalls and heart beat as he explored the space.
Each clock, every face was unique in some minor way; no two exactly alike.
Of them all, he felt drawn to one tucked far away into a back corner of the expansive room. Finding what he was after, he picked up the small thing to examine. The clock was a little worn around the edges but relatively well made; stained finish appeared nearly black against its gold trim. The pendulum swung freely as like all of the others but as he observed its hands would not move.
Meters behind, the sound of a care-worn door opened. The clock was set back in its resting place, instantly forgotten. Indeed, as John turned there was a doorway not far from where he stood. A warm breeze beckoned him, far more pleasant than the now seemingly chilly building. The predawn sky on the other side was also a welcome change from the artificial lighting. So drawn with the differences John didn’t realize he had stepped through until the doorway vanished abruptly.
Shock subsided momentarily, viewing his new surroundings fully. A tall leafy labyrinth of undetermined length stretched out, daring to be explored.
John moved through it; purposeful steps muted by the grass underfoot. Bird song replaced the hum of crickets when the sun began to peek from the horizon beyond. Never before had he seen the path but he set a path that just felt right.
Was that it? The end he had been searching for? A clearing opened, flanked on all sides by the stone. No, something was off. He stepped back to turn around only to find the one clear path blocked off on either side.
“It’s something I can’t understand. You’re always so hesitant at the last moment. You know its what you want, you can feel how right it can be, and you end up like this every time.”
John looked for the familiar voice; it was nearby, echoing off into the space ahead.
“Don’t play dumb,” it chastised. John was being spoken to by his own voice, his mouth. Try as he might, John couldn’t stop himself from speaking, “That’s better. It’s strange, you know. Watching the personification of all your best intentions…running your very life.”
“The sun rises and sets. Day in. Day out,” his voice continued though no longer through him. Now John’s mirror self spoke to him from across the clearing of the maze. “Light and shadow; linked inseparably.”
“Where there is one the other will surely follow,” John replied.
Reaper nodded. “You fell away, and I’ll forgive you. But stay away too long and you’ll eventually crack,” he shortened the distance between them slowly. “We did what we had to, we protected the weak. But in order to defend ourselves…it was necessary and you know it.”
“Nobody’s perfect,” he smiled grimly. John stood firmly rooted; letting the other man bridge the gap entirely.
Reaper shook his head, “Neither willing to fully commit or fight. Strange, considering how impulsive you’ve been the past few months,” the two stood nearly face to face. “Fraying at the seams. Maybe if someone grabs a thread you’ll unravel completely. You need me as much as I need you, otherwise you would have woken up by now…too late for that now.”
“My body. My mind. My dream. Unless…” Reaper produced a small dagger, handing it to himself. “Take it and do as you wish. Cut me, yourself, or accept me and throw it to the ground. Your choice. Just know that we won’t wake up until you decide.”
John considered the cruel curve of the dagger in his hand, “I hope you can live with this.”
--
He woke up gasping for breath; eyes darting back and forth desperately attempting to remember the last moments of the dream. John had held the blade in his hands…and then…
Why couldn’t he remember?!
It couldn’t have been withheld again, could it?
He closed his eyes again, calming himself. Better. Jim was supposed to meet with him sometime, right? 1800 hours. He had slept entirely too long, most of the day completely wasted. Okay, not completely. Still, it would do him no good to lay in bed forever.
Finding whatever civilian clothing he happened to have clean, John proceeded with what should have been his morning ritual; complete with growling at the lack of hot running water. Complaining won’t make it appear out of no where, Jim would have said.
Jim…Shouldn’t he have been back from class by now? He thought while continuing to shave the scruff from under his jaw.
Finally out of the bathroom John checked his comm. There looked to be one new message left nearly two hours ago.
“Stopped by earlier but you were passed out. I’ll be late getting in, nearly forgot about that Xenolinguistics meeting tonight. Maybe we’ll go out or something, if you’re up to it. Send me a message or something, k?” John couldn’t help but smile a little.
Dialing Jim, he left a message, “You can stop doing the mother hen thing, I’m awake finally. Food sounds good, think of somewhere you’d want to go on the way back to the dorms all right?”
--
Part Eleven: He Who Should Not Be | Part Thirteen: Lost and Found
After having set foot onto the greenness, the darkness behind him was replaced with the same flowery field set before him. He wasn’t too concerned with what was behind, more with the similarly clad figure meters away. A soft light played over the figure even without a visible source of light from above; aside from the bright constellations above.
John continued move further into the unkempt grass. Toward the man who had decided to turn away before John could come close enough to recognize him. Approaching cautiously now he noticed the fields in the distance started to disappear. The further he walked the closer the new edge became until finally it stopped short at the other’s feet.
The two figures stood there in the near-dark, the stationary one peering over the newly created cliff face while the new arrival attempted to make the best of the situation.
“You know, ‘Sawbones’, your dreamscapes are normally pretty entertaining to watch. I think Freud would have a field-day.” Apparently content with the idea that the edge would not move further he sat down; feet dangling off towards an endless abyss. “That last one though…” the sound made in his throat clearly disapproving. “Don’t worry, you won’t remember it.”
John wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation. Obviously everything around him wasn’t real. The entire set had a frosted haze, the man who sat next to him included. Yet there was a mental clarity he normally didn’t experience; John could think and ration instead of only react to the situations thrown in front of him. All of that being said, he had very little control over the man sitting beside him or the landscape behind him.
John couldn’t even tell who he was talking to, his face either obscured by their now difference in height. To compensate, John sat next to the equally dark-haired man.
“I’m a little frustrated at myself,” the man stated nonchalantly; finally turning his hazel-green eyes towards John. A mirror image. “You look surprised. Or is that I look surprised? Either way…” he shrugged.
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
Again, the disappointment, “I’ll give you some time to make up your mind. Sadly, you won’t remember this either.”
--
Consciousness was a bitch, John decided. The tremor that had wracked his system last night was no more than a memory now; however the aftershocks were there. It was an odd sensation, to be in control of your body yet without the precise control he had normally been granted. He groaned.
The man behind him took notice of John’s subtle stirring, “Good morning. How are you feeling?” Arms he had only now realized that were there tightened their hold against him. Jim pressed up from behind, which was all quite normal…except that the usual morning need hadn’t accompanied him. For that matter, when had Jim found time to put on clothing?
A little baffled John leaned back nonetheless. “I could go for a coffee or something,” voice like gravel. “Don’t seem to want to get moving.” A yawn. What time was it anyway?
Oh shit!
Wide awake now John threw the blankets off, scrambling out of bed. Or rather, would have been if Jim could only let go long enough.
“Dammit! Why didn’t you wake me? I’m already an hour late for class!” For that matter, the kid was going to be late if they were both attempting to use the bathroom at the same time. “Jesus, let go so I can get ready!” Fine. The damned kid could hang along for the ride.
“Hey!” Jim exclaimed as John made to stand up. The younger man wrapped his legs against John’s nude form for an impromptu piggy back ride. “You’re pretty lively for a guy who was completely comatose through two morning alarms.”
“Get off before I throw you off,” he warned. Jim seemed completely unabated by the verbal threat.
The martial instructor kept a firm yet loose grip on his would-be opponent. “Your Commander would be surprised to see you in class today. Leonard McCoy called in another personal day two hours ago.”
“You can’t just hack into my terminal and-“
“I did and you’re free from Academy life for another day. Unless you would like to pass out in middle of a crowded hallway much like you did several times on the trip back last night. Something tells me you wouldn’t want a free trip to see medical as a patient.”
He’s right. John sighed, letting the built up adrenalin filter from his body, “Thanks.”
Realizing the danger had subsided, Jim hopped off of the older man, “Don’t mention it. For being the ‘level headed one’ you certainly have been easy to anger these past few days.” He picked up where he left off getting ready for the day’s classes; throwing trousers over boxers before suit jacket over undershirt.
John watched it all from his reclaimed spot in the bed. “I’m not sure what’s come over me, I haven’t been myself at all.” The quiet sound of a ‘hum’ was the only answer he received in response.
It was an unusual sight; normally it would be him getting ready at the crack of dawn with Jim lounging before nodding back off. Not that he particular minded the switch at the moment. Sleep was setting in for him again, he could feel it.
“Yeah, there’s definitely something wrong with you. You’re never this eager to fall back to sleep by yourself.”
“I feel as though I couldn’t sleep at all last night.” While John would admit he missed Jim’s presence, he certainly didn’t mind having space to sprawl out for once.
“You didn’t; at least not well.” A smile spread, reaching up to his tired eyes. “I decided to stay up after the second time you woke me, then you went still…For everything I tried you wouldn’t wake.” He frowned, lost in thought. “I’ll swing by around lunch if you want.”
Rolling around to get a better look at the blonde, he made a face. “No thanks.”
Jim shook his head, “What will you do if you ever manage to get aboard a starship? Starve? It’s perfectly good food, even if you complain about it every other day.”
--
Clocks.
Thousands of clocks shelved in a white-walled building. Pendulums swinging at their paces as hands circled round. For all of the motion, the only sounds John could hear were his footfalls and heart beat as he explored the space.
Each clock, every face was unique in some minor way; no two exactly alike.
Of them all, he felt drawn to one tucked far away into a back corner of the expansive room. Finding what he was after, he picked up the small thing to examine. The clock was a little worn around the edges but relatively well made; stained finish appeared nearly black against its gold trim. The pendulum swung freely as like all of the others but as he observed its hands would not move.
Meters behind, the sound of a care-worn door opened. The clock was set back in its resting place, instantly forgotten. Indeed, as John turned there was a doorway not far from where he stood. A warm breeze beckoned him, far more pleasant than the now seemingly chilly building. The predawn sky on the other side was also a welcome change from the artificial lighting. So drawn with the differences John didn’t realize he had stepped through until the doorway vanished abruptly.
Shock subsided momentarily, viewing his new surroundings fully. A tall leafy labyrinth of undetermined length stretched out, daring to be explored.
John moved through it; purposeful steps muted by the grass underfoot. Bird song replaced the hum of crickets when the sun began to peek from the horizon beyond. Never before had he seen the path but he set a path that just felt right.
Was that it? The end he had been searching for? A clearing opened, flanked on all sides by the stone. No, something was off. He stepped back to turn around only to find the one clear path blocked off on either side.
“It’s something I can’t understand. You’re always so hesitant at the last moment. You know its what you want, you can feel how right it can be, and you end up like this every time.”
John looked for the familiar voice; it was nearby, echoing off into the space ahead.
“Don’t play dumb,” it chastised. John was being spoken to by his own voice, his mouth. Try as he might, John couldn’t stop himself from speaking, “That’s better. It’s strange, you know. Watching the personification of all your best intentions…running your very life.”
“The sun rises and sets. Day in. Day out,” his voice continued though no longer through him. Now John’s mirror self spoke to him from across the clearing of the maze. “Light and shadow; linked inseparably.”
“Where there is one the other will surely follow,” John replied.
Reaper nodded. “You fell away, and I’ll forgive you. But stay away too long and you’ll eventually crack,” he shortened the distance between them slowly. “We did what we had to, we protected the weak. But in order to defend ourselves…it was necessary and you know it.”
“Nobody’s perfect,” he smiled grimly. John stood firmly rooted; letting the other man bridge the gap entirely.
Reaper shook his head, “Neither willing to fully commit or fight. Strange, considering how impulsive you’ve been the past few months,” the two stood nearly face to face. “Fraying at the seams. Maybe if someone grabs a thread you’ll unravel completely. You need me as much as I need you, otherwise you would have woken up by now…too late for that now.”
“My body. My mind. My dream. Unless…” Reaper produced a small dagger, handing it to himself. “Take it and do as you wish. Cut me, yourself, or accept me and throw it to the ground. Your choice. Just know that we won’t wake up until you decide.”
John considered the cruel curve of the dagger in his hand, “I hope you can live with this.”
--
He woke up gasping for breath; eyes darting back and forth desperately attempting to remember the last moments of the dream. John had held the blade in his hands…and then…
Why couldn’t he remember?!
It couldn’t have been withheld again, could it?
He closed his eyes again, calming himself. Better. Jim was supposed to meet with him sometime, right? 1800 hours. He had slept entirely too long, most of the day completely wasted. Okay, not completely. Still, it would do him no good to lay in bed forever.
Finding whatever civilian clothing he happened to have clean, John proceeded with what should have been his morning ritual; complete with growling at the lack of hot running water. Complaining won’t make it appear out of no where, Jim would have said.
Jim…Shouldn’t he have been back from class by now? He thought while continuing to shave the scruff from under his jaw.
Finally out of the bathroom John checked his comm. There looked to be one new message left nearly two hours ago.
“Stopped by earlier but you were passed out. I’ll be late getting in, nearly forgot about that Xenolinguistics meeting tonight. Maybe we’ll go out or something, if you’re up to it. Send me a message or something, k?” John couldn’t help but smile a little.
Dialing Jim, he left a message, “You can stop doing the mother hen thing, I’m awake finally. Food sounds good, think of somewhere you’d want to go on the way back to the dorms all right?”
--
Part Eleven: He Who Should Not Be | Part Thirteen: Lost and Found