LJ Idol- Week 11- Wild Goose Chase
My name is Grahame "Goose" Goslin, and I am the founder of Golden Goose Airlines. People are always whining to me, "Grahame, you are a multi billionaire, why don't you use your wealth to help with clean carbon, polar bear, rain forest" or whatever else you impoverished millenial scum care about, I wouldn't know. To this I say, "Because fuck you, thats why. Now here is five dollars, park my Monster Truck."
I made my money the old fashioned way, compound fucking interest, like my father before me. Then I found that some of you wanted to travel but were too poor to afford conventional airlines, Golden Goose is proud to fill that vaccum. We eliminate all the frills like seating...you poors don't mind standing in subways and busses if it is full...you can stand for our flights.
If you weigh over 140lbs you are going to pay extra, I didn't get where I am by subsidizing your gluttony. New this year for long international flights we are introducing snacks, one snack for every 3 passengers. If you want to eat, our flight crew has been trained to throw it up high and let you fight for it...though knowing you millenial pansies, you will probably share. We have one bathroom...it has a 3 minute timer...so get your business done and get out."
Some "people", and I use that term loosely, say, "But, Mr. Goslin, you have more money than your family can spend in a dozen lifetimes". That's bullshit, it's more than 20 even if all my kids have 5 kids and a crippling coke and gambling addiction, but what's your point, peon. I want you to wipe my ass again, and this time use the baby wipes, here's 5 dollars to help support that premature baby you had Tuesday. Oh he died, ok have Malcolm send a card.
Anyway, it has been nice talking to you peasants, but I am overdue for a function tonight
.
A Childrens Cancer Charity....See....and you thought I had no heart. I bet you feel ashamed now.
It's at Mar-a-Lago...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
P.S Fuck you, peasant
I made my money the old fashioned way, compound fucking interest, like my father before me. Then I found that some of you wanted to travel but were too poor to afford conventional airlines, Golden Goose is proud to fill that vaccum. We eliminate all the frills like seating...you poors don't mind standing in subways and busses if it is full...you can stand for our flights.
If you weigh over 140lbs you are going to pay extra, I didn't get where I am by subsidizing your gluttony. New this year for long international flights we are introducing snacks, one snack for every 3 passengers. If you want to eat, our flight crew has been trained to throw it up high and let you fight for it...though knowing you millenial pansies, you will probably share. We have one bathroom...it has a 3 minute timer...so get your business done and get out."
Some "people", and I use that term loosely, say, "But, Mr. Goslin, you have more money than your family can spend in a dozen lifetimes". That's bullshit, it's more than 20 even if all my kids have 5 kids and a crippling coke and gambling addiction, but what's your point, peon. I want you to wipe my ass again, and this time use the baby wipes, here's 5 dollars to help support that premature baby you had Tuesday. Oh he died, ok have Malcolm send a card.
Anyway, it has been nice talking to you peasants, but I am overdue for a function tonight
.
A Childrens Cancer Charity....See....and you thought I had no heart. I bet you feel ashamed now.
It's at Mar-a-Lago...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
P.S Fuck you, peasant