tried something different last night...
So, my parents were gone for the weekend, up to visit my stepgrandfather (that is, my stepdad's father). It was getting around evening and I hadn't eaten dinner. I didn't really feel like cooking anything, so I was thinking of doing something special, like ordering a pizzar. Then I got an idea.
Maybe I should do something really special. Maybe I shoudl go out to eat. Not counting fastfood places, I hadn't been out to in quite awhile. I had some extra money from some online says I'd made, so I was, thinking maybe I go over to Ryans or something. Had the sudden urge for a steak (kitty, if you're reading this, I know you're cringing at the thought, but just stay with me, okay:)
I was thinking back to something I'd read a while back you should try and treat yourself they way you would if you were actually with someone, that is, acutally go out and do things for yourself, and be nice to yourself, and take care of yourself (hygeine-wise and whatnot) as you would if you were with someone else.
So, I took a shower, shaved, and then left for Marion, which is about a twenty minute trip away. Part of me wasn't sure I really wanted to do this, I mean, seemed silly just drive all that way (well, it's not THAT far, but you get the point) just eat a meal. But I thought, "Dammit, you can sit at home and watch movies anytime, you need to at least TRY to connect with regular peopl here." So, I made up my mind I'd take a chance.
Went to the restuarant and decided to just get the mega bar. I was going to get a steak as well, but the lady behind the counter told me they started serving sirloin at the bar as well (they had someone there who's slice off a bit for you, along with ham, or turkey, depending on your interest.)
Thinks starting out okay, felt a bit nice to be doing something different. Tried to eat a leisurely pace, and just enjoy the atmosphere. But.. I don't know, after a bit I began to feel a little depressed. Not sure why, maybe it was because i was alone, and there were so many couples there, some young, some old, and lots of people with families, husbands and wives, kids roaming around.
I guess the lonliness of the situation started to hit me.
Then I started getting a bit paranoid. After the waitress brought me my third glass of soda (in my defense though, the glasses were kind of small, and they filled them almost half up with soda) I begin to think crazy thoughts like... "I'll bet she thinks I'm pig... she probably knows how many plates I've had.." (each time you go to the buffet, you supposed to take a clean plate). I had a crazy impulse to tell her I don't normally eat like this, this was a special night. Course, both of those would be lies, if given the oppurtunity I do eat like that, and it wasn't a special night, I was just out to be out...
Then, I thought, why the hell does it matter how much I eat? I paid for this, goddammit, didn't say anywhere there's a limit. Hell, lots of people are still eating and they were hear before I came in.
I didn't go overboard though... I didn't eat till I was sick, but I did eat past where I hungry, and a little more. I probably could have kept going, but I stopped myself...
An element of interest... the waitresses named was Ashley. I thought that was interesting cause that's my oldest nieces name. Course, I guess it's not that unusual, the name has been quite popular in the past decade or so.
I started to think.. what am I doing here, really? I mean, what did I expect to happen? Did I expect some waitress would think I'm cute and leave me her phone number? Did I expect to actually be able to strike up a conversation with all these people who had their own families, and circles of friends.
So, I left.
I don't know.. maybe it wasn't a total lost. On the way home I stopped by a local gas station in my town, there was a girl there behind I didn't recognize. I asked her if she was new, and she said she just started last week. I spke to her a little bit, she laughed a bit at my jokes. And I then I wished her a good night, and left.
So, that was nice, I meet someone. Or at least, spoke to them a bit. Problem is, I'll be damned if i can remember name.
Man, that's pretty messed up? One of the biggest keys to actually making new friends, the most sweetest sounding word in the english language-someone's name, I can't seem keep ahold of them. Course, I was a bit distracted.
Will I see her again, I wonder? Dunno.. maybe I could stop by at night, try to her again.
It's times like this, when a girl, have a decent conversation, then I'm about to go my separate way, I wonder if i should have done more, like maybe ask if I call or email her sometime. On the one hand, I might never get to see her again, and this might be my only chance. On the other, that might come off as too pushy, and maybe even a bit creepy.
So, I usually just tell her it's was nice meeting her, hoping maybe fate or chance will throw us back together again.
I don't know, I suppose cute guys could get away with asking a girl for her number within a few minutes of meeting her, but someone like me?
Anyway, went home, did a bit of messing around the on the computer. I SHOULD have wrote her name down somewhere, but I didn't.. dammit. Bet I'd recognize her if I saw her again though... I DO remember she said she worked at Subway awhile back, so it's not like I wasn't paying attention...
My memory is actually pretty sharp, but only in certain areas...
Okay, think I've rambled enough for now.
Maybe I should do something really special. Maybe I shoudl go out to eat. Not counting fastfood places, I hadn't been out to in quite awhile. I had some extra money from some online says I'd made, so I was, thinking maybe I go over to Ryans or something. Had the sudden urge for a steak (kitty, if you're reading this, I know you're cringing at the thought, but just stay with me, okay:)
I was thinking back to something I'd read a while back you should try and treat yourself they way you would if you were actually with someone, that is, acutally go out and do things for yourself, and be nice to yourself, and take care of yourself (hygeine-wise and whatnot) as you would if you were with someone else.
So, I took a shower, shaved, and then left for Marion, which is about a twenty minute trip away. Part of me wasn't sure I really wanted to do this, I mean, seemed silly just drive all that way (well, it's not THAT far, but you get the point) just eat a meal. But I thought, "Dammit, you can sit at home and watch movies anytime, you need to at least TRY to connect with regular peopl here." So, I made up my mind I'd take a chance.
Went to the restuarant and decided to just get the mega bar. I was going to get a steak as well, but the lady behind the counter told me they started serving sirloin at the bar as well (they had someone there who's slice off a bit for you, along with ham, or turkey, depending on your interest.)
Thinks starting out okay, felt a bit nice to be doing something different. Tried to eat a leisurely pace, and just enjoy the atmosphere. But.. I don't know, after a bit I began to feel a little depressed. Not sure why, maybe it was because i was alone, and there were so many couples there, some young, some old, and lots of people with families, husbands and wives, kids roaming around.
I guess the lonliness of the situation started to hit me.
Then I started getting a bit paranoid. After the waitress brought me my third glass of soda (in my defense though, the glasses were kind of small, and they filled them almost half up with soda) I begin to think crazy thoughts like... "I'll bet she thinks I'm pig... she probably knows how many plates I've had.." (each time you go to the buffet, you supposed to take a clean plate). I had a crazy impulse to tell her I don't normally eat like this, this was a special night. Course, both of those would be lies, if given the oppurtunity I do eat like that, and it wasn't a special night, I was just out to be out...
Then, I thought, why the hell does it matter how much I eat? I paid for this, goddammit, didn't say anywhere there's a limit. Hell, lots of people are still eating and they were hear before I came in.
I didn't go overboard though... I didn't eat till I was sick, but I did eat past where I hungry, and a little more. I probably could have kept going, but I stopped myself...
An element of interest... the waitresses named was Ashley. I thought that was interesting cause that's my oldest nieces name. Course, I guess it's not that unusual, the name has been quite popular in the past decade or so.
I started to think.. what am I doing here, really? I mean, what did I expect to happen? Did I expect some waitress would think I'm cute and leave me her phone number? Did I expect to actually be able to strike up a conversation with all these people who had their own families, and circles of friends.
So, I left.
I don't know.. maybe it wasn't a total lost. On the way home I stopped by a local gas station in my town, there was a girl there behind I didn't recognize. I asked her if she was new, and she said she just started last week. I spke to her a little bit, she laughed a bit at my jokes. And I then I wished her a good night, and left.
So, that was nice, I meet someone. Or at least, spoke to them a bit. Problem is, I'll be damned if i can remember name.
Man, that's pretty messed up? One of the biggest keys to actually making new friends, the most sweetest sounding word in the english language-someone's name, I can't seem keep ahold of them. Course, I was a bit distracted.
Will I see her again, I wonder? Dunno.. maybe I could stop by at night, try to her again.
It's times like this, when a girl, have a decent conversation, then I'm about to go my separate way, I wonder if i should have done more, like maybe ask if I call or email her sometime. On the one hand, I might never get to see her again, and this might be my only chance. On the other, that might come off as too pushy, and maybe even a bit creepy.
So, I usually just tell her it's was nice meeting her, hoping maybe fate or chance will throw us back together again.
I don't know, I suppose cute guys could get away with asking a girl for her number within a few minutes of meeting her, but someone like me?
Anyway, went home, did a bit of messing around the on the computer. I SHOULD have wrote her name down somewhere, but I didn't.. dammit. Bet I'd recognize her if I saw her again though... I DO remember she said she worked at Subway awhile back, so it's not like I wasn't paying attention...
My memory is actually pretty sharp, but only in certain areas...
Okay, think I've rambled enough for now.