Am I still here?
It's weird... the past couple of days I feel like i'm just... I dont' know, fading away. Like I don't really exist, that I'm here, but no one really cares or notices me. I often feel like i could vanish tomorrow and no one, except for the my co-workers, would even notice I'm gone (and then only because they'd be inconvienced with having to find someone to replace me.) Oh, yeah, and the bill collectors, they'd call, wanting to know where their payments are...
But other than that, does anyone really care? God, I'm so lonely... I just don't know what to do anymore.. tired of living like this... sometimes I'm just tired of living period. I'm tried of lying to people when they ask me how I'm doing and I just say, "Fine" and change the subject. But no one really wants to hear how I'm feeling, or they just want to pooh-pooh things and tell me how bad they've got it. Or that I should suck it up and not think about it. Or I just accept Jesus I wouldn't feel this way. Or, blah, blah, blah...
I wonder if what would happen if I stuck a hose in the back of the exhaust pipe of my car? I mean, I know it'd kill me, but would the fumes just kind of rock me to sleep, or would I gasp and choke like I was having an ashtma attack? The latter would kind of suck...
Okay, okay... feeling a little better now, wow, writing really does help.
Well, I'm going to take a nap.
But other than that, does anyone really care? God, I'm so lonely... I just don't know what to do anymore.. tired of living like this... sometimes I'm just tired of living period. I'm tried of lying to people when they ask me how I'm doing and I just say, "Fine" and change the subject. But no one really wants to hear how I'm feeling, or they just want to pooh-pooh things and tell me how bad they've got it. Or that I should suck it up and not think about it. Or I just accept Jesus I wouldn't feel this way. Or, blah, blah, blah...
I wonder if what would happen if I stuck a hose in the back of the exhaust pipe of my car? I mean, I know it'd kill me, but would the fumes just kind of rock me to sleep, or would I gasp and choke like I was having an ashtma attack? The latter would kind of suck...
Okay, okay... feeling a little better now, wow, writing really does help.
Well, I'm going to take a nap.