Update Update...
hmmm... last night was fun, today sucked. I've never had a hangover feeling this bad before... but then again I've never drank two bottles of wine in two hours before ethier. Last night was a lot of fun... it was probably the most fun I've had in a long time.
this whole "new me" business is not as hard as I thought it would be but it's still challanging. Recently I've been just acting how I've been feeling and it's been working out... except when I come off a little too harsh or a little too loud or a little too goofy or whatever the "a little too _____" might be, and I have to deal with the coments or looks or laughs. I mean I've changed 150% compared to what I would do before... which would have been shut my face and not talk or look at anyone for the rest of the night... but it's still hard to deal with and to hear, and it's almost worse in a way because it's like I'm finally getting to a place where it's okay to be "me" and to have someone laugh or get annoyed with that is hard to take. I mean I guess it would be for anyone and I know this stuff doesn't just happen to me... I'm just saying.
Anyways, things have been pretty shitty the past two weeks but after a session with Mac and then group after that, everything was all better. I don't know what it is but it just feels like I'm this big SUV that's just caked with mud and going to group and talking with Mac it's like going to the car wash.
Speaking of the last two weeks I'd like to tell a certain someone a certain something... Eric, I don't know if you even read this but I'd just like to say, I'm really sorry for all the ways I've been acting in the past two weeks. I know you understand why and in your eyes it's no big deal to put up with... and that's why I want to thank you. I love you so much and everyday that I wake up next to you and see your beautiful blue eyes looking into mine I fall deeper and deeper in love with you. It's so amazing because I always "knew" I was in love with you but I didn't know anything. I know now what love is because you've shown me in so many different ways. You are so amazing and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I love you. Thank you.
this whole "new me" business is not as hard as I thought it would be but it's still challanging. Recently I've been just acting how I've been feeling and it's been working out... except when I come off a little too harsh or a little too loud or a little too goofy or whatever the "a little too _____" might be, and I have to deal with the coments or looks or laughs. I mean I've changed 150% compared to what I would do before... which would have been shut my face and not talk or look at anyone for the rest of the night... but it's still hard to deal with and to hear, and it's almost worse in a way because it's like I'm finally getting to a place where it's okay to be "me" and to have someone laugh or get annoyed with that is hard to take. I mean I guess it would be for anyone and I know this stuff doesn't just happen to me... I'm just saying.
Anyways, things have been pretty shitty the past two weeks but after a session with Mac and then group after that, everything was all better. I don't know what it is but it just feels like I'm this big SUV that's just caked with mud and going to group and talking with Mac it's like going to the car wash.
Speaking of the last two weeks I'd like to tell a certain someone a certain something... Eric, I don't know if you even read this but I'd just like to say, I'm really sorry for all the ways I've been acting in the past two weeks. I know you understand why and in your eyes it's no big deal to put up with... and that's why I want to thank you. I love you so much and everyday that I wake up next to you and see your beautiful blue eyes looking into mine I fall deeper and deeper in love with you. It's so amazing because I always "knew" I was in love with you but I didn't know anything. I know now what love is because you've shown me in so many different ways. You are so amazing and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I love you. Thank you.