What goes around comes back around
I got everything I thought I wanted and it turns out it's not what I wanted at all. How does that happen? How do you think, feel, "know" that things are so perfect and exactly what you want, and then in one minute it all changes and turns to fear, doubt, and confusion. The worst part is having someone else involved. Not only was this a total shock and surprise to me but I had to drop this bomb on someone else, someone who totally wasn't expecting it.
I feel like a hypocrite. I said things. I did things. I meant them all... at the time. It was just too fast, but I said it wasn't. I wanted to be ready and I said I was, but apparently I wasn't. I feel so bad about everything, especially because I could have handled the way it ended so much better. None of it was intentional, and I don't know if that counts for anything but it's the truth.
Everyone says it's not my fault, that when anyone is in that position they want it to be real and at that moment it is, but sometimes it's just not right and that's no ones fault. That doesn't change the fact that someone got hurt, an innocent person was hurt because of me. It really hurts to know that I hurt him the way that I did because I honestly didn't mean for it to happen. I don't even know how it did happen. One day it was just different. I was different.
I'm at a stand still. That's probably a good thing. I probably shouldn't move for a long while.
I feel like a hypocrite. I said things. I did things. I meant them all... at the time. It was just too fast, but I said it wasn't. I wanted to be ready and I said I was, but apparently I wasn't. I feel so bad about everything, especially because I could have handled the way it ended so much better. None of it was intentional, and I don't know if that counts for anything but it's the truth.
Everyone says it's not my fault, that when anyone is in that position they want it to be real and at that moment it is, but sometimes it's just not right and that's no ones fault. That doesn't change the fact that someone got hurt, an innocent person was hurt because of me. It really hurts to know that I hurt him the way that I did because I honestly didn't mean for it to happen. I don't even know how it did happen. One day it was just different. I was different.
I'm at a stand still. That's probably a good thing. I probably shouldn't move for a long while.