What tha? Pasted from facebook!?
It has come to my attention... several times, repetitively...that I do not have a girlfriend and I am not seeking one--and society is not OK with that.
I've stated my case before, but let me pass on a more concrete and practical explanation; to put this to rest.
What do I have to offer a woman right now? I'm working a part-time job that barely manages to keep the four thousand dollars in my bank account from changing one way or the other. I have a college degree, but it has given me nothing except a BMW-sized student-loan to pay off. I live with my mother, and she takes care of the rent and groceries (if not for that, I'm sure I'd be losing money every month instead of remaining constant). I'll be making payments on my car for another 4 years, and the only vehicle I outright own is a motorcycle.
I'm 27 as of this writing. The women I would be with of my age range would be thinking most likely of a family immediately or very soon after having established a firm relationship. I would be in no position to help with that. I'm barely in a position to even pay for dates (even my half of a date, if the money was split). So, I ask again, what do I have to offer a woman right now?
I'm not a welfare-person, though one could argue staying with my mom makes me like one. Mom volunteered, I didn't ask for charity. I don't typically mooch, unless necessary. I'm independently minded, and I think I always will be. The only time I wasn't, was when Caitlin had me convinced that we, as a couple, were dependent on each other and that was 'OK.' After that was over, I discovered that it wasn't true, and in fact was a bad premise for a relationship on her part.
I used to think, and maybe I still do, that she only wanted to be dependent on me-- that I didn't have to be dependent on her necessarily. One of the last questions she ever asked me was "So, did you hear from the Navy yet?" As if attaining a solid career was what she was waiting for. It's laughable now, because at that point she had already "moved on" so to speak, and the Navy would have just been an easier way to 'break up' with me without having to talk to me.
Er, I didn't mean to make this about Caitlin. Point is: I need a career. Or at least, excess money. Something to offer a woman. Who would stay with a man if they couldn't offer something so basic? Perhaps a woman so much in love that she didn't care about how much money I made. My view of this world can't allow me to see that reality. Money is a necessity, not a perk. The only other way is for the woman to break social trends and work as much as the man; which I'm all for, I'm no sexist, but I'm competitive.. what if she had a high-paying job and I was-- at Best Western? I couldn't live happily like that. (Goes back to the welfare and charity thing I mentioned earlier--at least, that's how I would feel) And I, from my perspective, can't see why she would be with someone who made much less money than her or who didn't live to their full potential. You don't typically marry or whatever outside of your social status-- romantic comedies be-damned. That'd be like if movie stars married steel-workers. My view on all this may look old-fashioned, but I'm thinking of it practically. Most retorts of "Nooooo that's not how it is! Things can work out that way" is getting emotionally involved. Reality catches up in the form of divorce or bankruptcy.
No, the only way it can work is if we both worked crappy jobs (Or I had a super-awesome job alone..OR we both worked decent jobs; just so long as she's doing what she wants with her life). Caitlin was usually so depressed about not living up to her own expectations that, it may have rubbed off on me, but what bothered me was it didn't matter what I achieved, she wasn't going to be happy. I think that's how I came to agree that if she stayed dependent upon me like she said, then I could support us both as long as I made something of myself; taking the burden off of her. She became much more independent around the time she (to my best guess) started cheating on me.. so I guess I'm glad she could finally make something of herself when she wasn't making herself dependent on me.. she always had to make decisions like that on her own. I couldn't just TELL her to be more independent and she'd be much happier. Stubborn girl.
Er, back tot he point, and more importantly: I'M OK with a woman not working OR working- whatever makes her happy so long as that's what she aspires to make of her life!
In the case of two crappy jobs, it's a struggle to live.. without much happiness that I can see. (That might work for some people, but not me).
A mate isn't the only reason I can't stay where I am right now in life-- I'm not satisfied with a statement like: "This is all I have accomplished in life and I'm OK with that." I feel like I can do better, and I won't be happy unless I'm doing better.
That's why I'm joining the Army, and why I'm aiming for something high like Warrant Officer (I won't be satisfied if I stay enlisted.. I'll most likely quit the Army after 6 years if I don't get my promotion). But at that point, I'll be 33. Do I still have a shot to make something of myself by then? I don't know. I'm worried I will fail, and then my life (the good parts) will be half over and I still won't have a career or anything to offer a woman. Could I settle for a life a non-accomplishment, and no excess money to speak of?
I don't think so, I'm not out of ambition just yet
I've stated my case before, but let me pass on a more concrete and practical explanation; to put this to rest.
What do I have to offer a woman right now? I'm working a part-time job that barely manages to keep the four thousand dollars in my bank account from changing one way or the other. I have a college degree, but it has given me nothing except a BMW-sized student-loan to pay off. I live with my mother, and she takes care of the rent and groceries (if not for that, I'm sure I'd be losing money every month instead of remaining constant). I'll be making payments on my car for another 4 years, and the only vehicle I outright own is a motorcycle.
I'm 27 as of this writing. The women I would be with of my age range would be thinking most likely of a family immediately or very soon after having established a firm relationship. I would be in no position to help with that. I'm barely in a position to even pay for dates (even my half of a date, if the money was split). So, I ask again, what do I have to offer a woman right now?
I'm not a welfare-person, though one could argue staying with my mom makes me like one. Mom volunteered, I didn't ask for charity. I don't typically mooch, unless necessary. I'm independently minded, and I think I always will be. The only time I wasn't, was when Caitlin had me convinced that we, as a couple, were dependent on each other and that was 'OK.' After that was over, I discovered that it wasn't true, and in fact was a bad premise for a relationship on her part.
I used to think, and maybe I still do, that she only wanted to be dependent on me-- that I didn't have to be dependent on her necessarily. One of the last questions she ever asked me was "So, did you hear from the Navy yet?" As if attaining a solid career was what she was waiting for. It's laughable now, because at that point she had already "moved on" so to speak, and the Navy would have just been an easier way to 'break up' with me without having to talk to me.
Er, I didn't mean to make this about Caitlin. Point is: I need a career. Or at least, excess money. Something to offer a woman. Who would stay with a man if they couldn't offer something so basic? Perhaps a woman so much in love that she didn't care about how much money I made. My view of this world can't allow me to see that reality. Money is a necessity, not a perk. The only other way is for the woman to break social trends and work as much as the man; which I'm all for, I'm no sexist, but I'm competitive.. what if she had a high-paying job and I was-- at Best Western? I couldn't live happily like that. (Goes back to the welfare and charity thing I mentioned earlier--at least, that's how I would feel) And I, from my perspective, can't see why she would be with someone who made much less money than her or who didn't live to their full potential. You don't typically marry or whatever outside of your social status-- romantic comedies be-damned. That'd be like if movie stars married steel-workers. My view on all this may look old-fashioned, but I'm thinking of it practically. Most retorts of "Nooooo that's not how it is! Things can work out that way" is getting emotionally involved. Reality catches up in the form of divorce or bankruptcy.
No, the only way it can work is if we both worked crappy jobs (Or I had a super-awesome job alone..OR we both worked decent jobs; just so long as she's doing what she wants with her life). Caitlin was usually so depressed about not living up to her own expectations that, it may have rubbed off on me, but what bothered me was it didn't matter what I achieved, she wasn't going to be happy. I think that's how I came to agree that if she stayed dependent upon me like she said, then I could support us both as long as I made something of myself; taking the burden off of her. She became much more independent around the time she (to my best guess) started cheating on me.. so I guess I'm glad she could finally make something of herself when she wasn't making herself dependent on me.. she always had to make decisions like that on her own. I couldn't just TELL her to be more independent and she'd be much happier. Stubborn girl.
Er, back tot he point, and more importantly: I'M OK with a woman not working OR working- whatever makes her happy so long as that's what she aspires to make of her life!
In the case of two crappy jobs, it's a struggle to live.. without much happiness that I can see. (That might work for some people, but not me).
A mate isn't the only reason I can't stay where I am right now in life-- I'm not satisfied with a statement like: "This is all I have accomplished in life and I'm OK with that." I feel like I can do better, and I won't be happy unless I'm doing better.
That's why I'm joining the Army, and why I'm aiming for something high like Warrant Officer (I won't be satisfied if I stay enlisted.. I'll most likely quit the Army after 6 years if I don't get my promotion). But at that point, I'll be 33. Do I still have a shot to make something of myself by then? I don't know. I'm worried I will fail, and then my life (the good parts) will be half over and I still won't have a career or anything to offer a woman. Could I settle for a life a non-accomplishment, and no excess money to speak of?
I don't think so, I'm not out of ambition just yet