I feel like a used tissue
And the worst part is that I know I brought it on myself.
So there's a guy. We work together, he's one of my managers (reason one why we have to keep quiet), he's much older (31), and did I mention he's engaged (I know I am terrible person, but I can't really help the fact that they only guys that show any interest in me are already taken).
So the other day he adds me on Facebook, which I thought was a little odd because the only words we had ever exchanged up to that point were work related, but I accepted the requested thinking that he was probably just adding all his new co-workers (he recently transferred from a store in a different area). Then the next day I get a message from him at like 3 a.m. (I was awake as per usual) saying "go to bed" as a joke. Well we started playfully flirting (this was before I realized he was engaged) and exchanged numbers.
I didn't really think any thing of it, pretty much just chalking it up to us both having flirty personalities. But then the next day he texted me and we started talking and talked all night and the conversation got pretty sexual. He wanted me to come over to hangout which I'm always wary of and so I told him I was staying in that night and maybe we could hang out another night. he wouldn't really drop it but then he asked me if it would be okay to cuddle when we hung out. I thought it would be fine and said so but then he started asking about if i liked back rubs and would I like him to give me one. And could i take my shirt off when he give me one. And it all started spiralling out of hand very fast.
By this point I knew about his fiancee and tried telling him I didn't think any of that was a good idea for us to be doing if he was getting married. He started telling me that he and his fiancee were having problems and he didn't think they were gonna stay together much longer and blah blah blah. In my heart I think I know its all a lie but I wanted to believe him so I went along with it. We fell asleep texting each other and the next day I woke up to a good morning text from him, which I'm sad to say is one of my weaknesses.
So all that day we were texting and he asked if I would come over that night and I said yes. I am ashamed to admit that I only did it because I was really turned on by our discussions and at the point I didn't really care about any of the other stuff.
During our conversations I had tried to set some ground rules about what would happen when we hungout but I knew that I have no self-control and I was probably going to do whatever he wanted anyways. And I did. Which was fun. We hooked up and I enjoyed it and I didn't even feel guilty which I know I should have but I just didn't care.
That night when I got home I asked him if he had wanted this to be a one-off thing. I told him that I was fine if thats what he wanted but I would rather know now than be wondering and overthinking and you know general me issues. He told me he wasn't sure yet but he had had fun. He said he was going to bed and told me to text him tomorrow (which is today btw).
So I went to sleep and woke up thinking about the night before, slightly ashamed that I had let it go as far as it did but generally in a good mood. I sent him a quick good morning text before I went off to work. It was still fairly early and I figured he would still be asleep so I didn't think too much about it when I didn't get a response back. Three hours later I started to think it was a little weird but I put it out of my mind. At around six hours I started to obsessively check my phone every other minute for a response. At 8 hours I was starting to get annoyed and stubbornly refused to look at my phone for an hour.
By 5:30 when my shift was over I was so in my head overthinking why he hadn't responded that I decided maybe he just didn't get that text and I should send another just too make sure. This is what our conversation looked like:
8:30 a.m. ME: Morning ;)
5:30 p.m. ME: ooor not
5:31 p.m. J: Dork I was busy doing yard work all day ;)
5:31 p.m. ME: Lol ok. How was that>
5:32 p.m. J: Tiring let me text you later I just left the store and I'm running late
5:32 p.m. ME: Ok talk to you later
It is now 10 and NOTHING. I don't know if he's avoiding me or if he really is busy or ANYTHING. My brain is on overdrive and I really would just like to know one way or the other because then I can get my brain together in one direction. Also if he is avoiding me its going to make work really awkward.
And to top it all off I keep thinking about last night and now I'm all horny again. I think this is just going to end up as another entry into my Sex Life Fail diary.
Edit: I may have freaked out too soon. He texted me back, he really was busy. Although no mention of if we are going to do it again or not. Le sigh. I'll keep you updated.
So there's a guy. We work together, he's one of my managers (reason one why we have to keep quiet), he's much older (31), and did I mention he's engaged (I know I am terrible person, but I can't really help the fact that they only guys that show any interest in me are already taken).
So the other day he adds me on Facebook, which I thought was a little odd because the only words we had ever exchanged up to that point were work related, but I accepted the requested thinking that he was probably just adding all his new co-workers (he recently transferred from a store in a different area). Then the next day I get a message from him at like 3 a.m. (I was awake as per usual) saying "go to bed" as a joke. Well we started playfully flirting (this was before I realized he was engaged) and exchanged numbers.
I didn't really think any thing of it, pretty much just chalking it up to us both having flirty personalities. But then the next day he texted me and we started talking and talked all night and the conversation got pretty sexual. He wanted me to come over to hangout which I'm always wary of and so I told him I was staying in that night and maybe we could hang out another night. he wouldn't really drop it but then he asked me if it would be okay to cuddle when we hung out. I thought it would be fine and said so but then he started asking about if i liked back rubs and would I like him to give me one. And could i take my shirt off when he give me one. And it all started spiralling out of hand very fast.
By this point I knew about his fiancee and tried telling him I didn't think any of that was a good idea for us to be doing if he was getting married. He started telling me that he and his fiancee were having problems and he didn't think they were gonna stay together much longer and blah blah blah. In my heart I think I know its all a lie but I wanted to believe him so I went along with it. We fell asleep texting each other and the next day I woke up to a good morning text from him, which I'm sad to say is one of my weaknesses.
So all that day we were texting and he asked if I would come over that night and I said yes. I am ashamed to admit that I only did it because I was really turned on by our discussions and at the point I didn't really care about any of the other stuff.
During our conversations I had tried to set some ground rules about what would happen when we hungout but I knew that I have no self-control and I was probably going to do whatever he wanted anyways. And I did. Which was fun. We hooked up and I enjoyed it and I didn't even feel guilty which I know I should have but I just didn't care.
That night when I got home I asked him if he had wanted this to be a one-off thing. I told him that I was fine if thats what he wanted but I would rather know now than be wondering and overthinking and you know general me issues. He told me he wasn't sure yet but he had had fun. He said he was going to bed and told me to text him tomorrow (which is today btw).
So I went to sleep and woke up thinking about the night before, slightly ashamed that I had let it go as far as it did but generally in a good mood. I sent him a quick good morning text before I went off to work. It was still fairly early and I figured he would still be asleep so I didn't think too much about it when I didn't get a response back. Three hours later I started to think it was a little weird but I put it out of my mind. At around six hours I started to obsessively check my phone every other minute for a response. At 8 hours I was starting to get annoyed and stubbornly refused to look at my phone for an hour.
By 5:30 when my shift was over I was so in my head overthinking why he hadn't responded that I decided maybe he just didn't get that text and I should send another just too make sure. This is what our conversation looked like:
8:30 a.m. ME: Morning ;)
5:30 p.m. ME: ooor not
5:31 p.m. J: Dork I was busy doing yard work all day ;)
5:31 p.m. ME: Lol ok. How was that>
5:32 p.m. J: Tiring let me text you later I just left the store and I'm running late
5:32 p.m. ME: Ok talk to you later
It is now 10 and NOTHING. I don't know if he's avoiding me or if he really is busy or ANYTHING. My brain is on overdrive and I really would just like to know one way or the other because then I can get my brain together in one direction. Also if he is avoiding me its going to make work really awkward.
And to top it all off I keep thinking about last night and now I'm all horny again. I think this is just going to end up as another entry into my Sex Life Fail diary.
Edit: I may have freaked out too soon. He texted me back, he really was busy. Although no mention of if we are going to do it again or not. Le sigh. I'll keep you updated.