The Best of 'Los Hombres de Paco': Season 5
Anyone who's been reading my journal for more than a month knows that I'm having a passionate love affair with Spanish television. They simply tend to do everything better than their counterparts in other countries. For example, the latest season of Los Hombres de Paco has wonderfully demonstrated the brilliance the Spanish are capable of.
So, because I won't be able to watch the two remaining episodes of the current season before mid-July (yes, I'm screaming in my head at this very moment), I'm posting my top list of Season 5 already today. Just like the 21 Reasons to Fangirl list, this one turned out rather Pepa & Silvia heavy as well. Absolutely no one is surprised, I know.
[[ The Best of Season 5 - Top15 ]]
15. The Kerfuffle with the Sacred Arm
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? Curtis, Quique, Nelson and Povedilla are in charge of some relics and they, not surprisingly, break & lose one of them - it ends up on Povedilla's plate at Cachi and the poor thing happily munches away. Gross.
See for yourself: Oops.
Why: This is true LHDP comedy and they're so bloody good at it. Matters get completely out of hand and nothing seems to work out in favour of our protagonists. When they get the fantastic idea of shooting the cardinal (who's come to pick up the arm) with a dart in order to stall him, you can't help laughing hysterically at the utter ridiculousness of it all. But it works, because it's Los Hombres de Paco.
14. Smile Like You're Selling Toothpaste.
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind.
Wut in da hell? Curtis cracks a joke, Pepa smiles, and we're all blinded by the shiny.
See for yourself: -
Why: When Pepa smiles, most of us suffer the same fate as Curtis: our IQs go down the toilet, but we're quite happy with it. Poor Curtis, he didn't really stand a chance; Pepa and her blinding smile would be the undoing of us all.
13. Pepa's Superior Skills of Bra Removal.
Category: What a...?
Wut in da hell? Silvia jokingly ponders whether their "boyfriend Curtis" would like the bra she's wearing. Making out with Pepa ensues, which then leads to Pepa swiftly removing aforementioned piece of clothing in record time.
See for yourself: Poof! Gone.
Why: I'm absolutely fascinated by this scene, because I have no idea how Pepa does it. HOW? Two seconds and the bra is off - Silvia doesn't even notice until it's too late! If anything, this definitely proves that Pepa is insanely gay: one needs years of research and 'trial and error' training before achieving this level of proficiency.
12. Only Paper, You Twats!
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? Povedilla gets stuck in a recycling bin and, thus, conveniently hears everything the Internal Affairs people are planning. But, at the same time, he's getting buried under all the rubbish they throw into the bin.
See for yourself: Two things!
Why: Povedilla has a habit of getting stuck in unfortunate places, but the recycling bin is certainly one of the funniest. This is #12 on the list, because of the secondary storyline of Povedilla trying to stop people from throwing cups still half-full of hot coffee on him. It is absolutely hysterical, and we're ecstatic when he finally gets his message across in the end: "¡Solo papel! ¿Nadie sabe leer? ¡Solo papel, coño!"
11. Sneaky, Pepa. Sneaky.
Category: It's lo~ve!
Wut in da hell? Silvia says she and Pepa should be best friends. Pepa then tricks Silvia into believing she's involved with someone and pregnant in order to prove her point: they can never be friends, because they're still in love with each other.
See for yourself: "Whatever you want. But as girlfriends."
Why: For once, Pepa is the more level-headed of the two. Her heartfelt monologue in the end is perfect, and her casual comment when she's walking away could not be more beautiful: "I'm not pregnant, by the way. I'd only ever want to have a child with you." Silvia's tearful smile says it all.
10. Oh, Silvia! Que perfecta eres.
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind.
Wut in da hell? Silvia. Being awesome. And gorgeous. And lovable. And...
See for yourself: -
Why: I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me before this season, but I wholeheartedly love and adore Silvia. I'd be BFFs with Pepa and date Silvia. Totally. There's just something in Silvia's character (or Marián Aguilera, I don't know) that does it for me. She's so adorable and sweet. Maybe it's the red hair. Anyway, I. LOVE. HER.
9. Yes. It's a goat.
Category: What a...?
Wut in da hell? Various animals are brought in from a raid and one of them, a goat, sticks around, making humorous appearances throughout the episode.
See for yourself: Chaos at the precinct.
Why: Again, only in LHDP. The hotel room operation is a complete disaster--exactly what we've learned to expect from our favourite police officers--and the goat is icing on the cake of said disaster. Montoya's resigned posture & look when the goat munches on the duvet is comedy at its finest.
8. Pepa Shows You How Its Done.
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind.
Wut in da hell: Pepa at the department's shooting rink. Hothothothothot!
See for yourself: -
Why: Because she fires a gun with one hand only. It's so ridiculously hot and cool that it makes Curtis' attempt (albeit rather pathetic to begin with) look like a shot made by a complete amateur. They really should have Pepa use her gun more often, I'm just saying.
7. The Hand Touch of the Fairytale Kind.
Category: It's lo~ve!
Wut in da hell? When leaving Cachi (after some serious eye shagging), Pepa & Silvia's hands accidentally brush against each other, causing them both to turn around in slow motion and gaze at each other.
See for yourself: The first three minutes.
Why: Their hands touching, the looks, the music, slow motion... In any other show it'd be completely over the top, but in LHDP it's not. It's obvious that these two are meant to be - this scene is a prime example of Fairytale Love 101. And if someone has the score that's playing on the background, I'll love you forever and ever!
6. Silvia = Lovely. Silvia Wearing a Police Vest = Even Lovelier.
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind.
Wut in da hell? Silvia explores a crime scene while sporting a police vest.
See for yourself: -
Why: Vests, uniforms, any 'official' outfits and I come running. And Silvia looks especially wonderful dressed in official police gear. Yes, this is another example of my current Silvia obsession, but can you really blame me? Guh.
5. The Case of the Dead Chicken.
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? Before an important fight, Mariano feeds their chicken steroids (and God knows what else) and the poor creature keels over.
See for yourself: From 1:15 onwards.
Why: Again, this show makes me laugh like nothing else. The chicken's legs, pointing skyward, is a particularly hilarious detail. Classic Paco & Mariano - something always goes wrong at the worst possible moment.
4. One...Two...Three...Shoot!
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? In order to decide who gets to take part in an escort in a G8 convention, Povedilla, Quique, Rita and Nelson eventually decide to wear bullet proof vests and shoot one another to the chest - the ultimate test.
See for yourself: -
Why: Ridiculous, but oh, so insanely funny that I start laughing just by thinking of it. The icing on the cake, of course, is the appearance of Don Lorenzo & a group of CIA agents; naturally, the former has just complimented his department and the professionalism of his officers. Again, only in LHDP.
3. Inappropriate Touching.
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, Curtis ends up first slapping Pepa on the butt and then, some episodes later, grabbing her boob.
See for yourself: "What the fuck are you doing, Curtis?!"
Why: I guess I should feel sorry for Curtis, but I don't. I'm overwhelmed by the funny! Curtis' feeble attempts to charm Pepa don't work, and it is made clear to the viewers early on that Pepa/Curtis is the complete opposite of Pepa/Silvia - even the score used in the butt grabbing scene underlines the juxtaposition. Inappropriate boob and arse grabbing should be a clear sign to just back off. Sorry, Curtis!
2. The Reconciliation We'd All Been Waiting for.
Category: It's lo~ve!
Wut in da hell? Pepa catches Silvia looking at her longingly and decides to make her move. Silvia doesn't seem to even consider resisting.
See for yourself: Awwwwww.
Why: Well, it took about ten episodes, but it was so worth it. The chemistry between Pepa & Silvia has been absolutely palpable from the beginning and, in a way, they've become the leading romantic couple on the show now that Lucas is gone (don't even get me started on the mind-numbing Sara/Aitor shilly-shally). This scene is so perfect, and when Pepa and Silvia finally hug, the feeling of relief and joy is obvious in them both.
1. Spread 'em!
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind / It's lo~ve!
Wut in da hell? Pepa ambushes Silvia in a car park and "arrests" the redhead for abandoning Pepa, hitting her and ignoring her repeatedly.
See for yourself: Ahem. I'll be in my bunk.
Why: Holy crap and then some. Only on Spanish TV, seriously. This is, by far, the scene of the season - I'm not sure I've seen anything even remotely as, well, hot on any other show ever (even The L Word, because the emotion etc. behind the car park scene is in a different league than any scene of TLW ever was). Hand in trousers! HAND. IN. TROUSERS. Shit. I also love it how utterly GAY Silvia is nowadays, because she goes straight to the zipper of Pepa's jeans when Pepa pushes her down & out of the sight of Curtis. The #1 spot on the list is very much deserved.
Oh, I love this show. I love it so. damn. much. ♥
So, because I won't be able to watch the two remaining episodes of the current season before mid-July (yes, I'm screaming in my head at this very moment), I'm posting my top list of Season 5 already today. Just like the 21 Reasons to Fangirl list, this one turned out rather Pepa & Silvia heavy as well. Absolutely no one is surprised, I know.
[[ The Best of Season 5 - Top15 ]]
15. The Kerfuffle with the Sacred Arm
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? Curtis, Quique, Nelson and Povedilla are in charge of some relics and they, not surprisingly, break & lose one of them - it ends up on Povedilla's plate at Cachi and the poor thing happily munches away. Gross.
See for yourself: Oops.
Why: This is true LHDP comedy and they're so bloody good at it. Matters get completely out of hand and nothing seems to work out in favour of our protagonists. When they get the fantastic idea of shooting the cardinal (who's come to pick up the arm) with a dart in order to stall him, you can't help laughing hysterically at the utter ridiculousness of it all. But it works, because it's Los Hombres de Paco.
14. Smile Like You're Selling Toothpaste.
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind.
Wut in da hell? Curtis cracks a joke, Pepa smiles, and we're all blinded by the shiny.
See for yourself: -
Why: When Pepa smiles, most of us suffer the same fate as Curtis: our IQs go down the toilet, but we're quite happy with it. Poor Curtis, he didn't really stand a chance; Pepa and her blinding smile would be the undoing of us all.
13. Pepa's Superior Skills of Bra Removal.
Category: What a...?
Wut in da hell? Silvia jokingly ponders whether their "boyfriend Curtis" would like the bra she's wearing. Making out with Pepa ensues, which then leads to Pepa swiftly removing aforementioned piece of clothing in record time.
See for yourself: Poof! Gone.
Why: I'm absolutely fascinated by this scene, because I have no idea how Pepa does it. HOW? Two seconds and the bra is off - Silvia doesn't even notice until it's too late! If anything, this definitely proves that Pepa is insanely gay: one needs years of research and 'trial and error' training before achieving this level of proficiency.
12. Only Paper, You Twats!
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? Povedilla gets stuck in a recycling bin and, thus, conveniently hears everything the Internal Affairs people are planning. But, at the same time, he's getting buried under all the rubbish they throw into the bin.
See for yourself: Two things!
Why: Povedilla has a habit of getting stuck in unfortunate places, but the recycling bin is certainly one of the funniest. This is #12 on the list, because of the secondary storyline of Povedilla trying to stop people from throwing cups still half-full of hot coffee on him. It is absolutely hysterical, and we're ecstatic when he finally gets his message across in the end: "¡Solo papel! ¿Nadie sabe leer? ¡Solo papel, coño!"
11. Sneaky, Pepa. Sneaky.
Category: It's lo~ve!
Wut in da hell? Silvia says she and Pepa should be best friends. Pepa then tricks Silvia into believing she's involved with someone and pregnant in order to prove her point: they can never be friends, because they're still in love with each other.
See for yourself: "Whatever you want. But as girlfriends."
Why: For once, Pepa is the more level-headed of the two. Her heartfelt monologue in the end is perfect, and her casual comment when she's walking away could not be more beautiful: "I'm not pregnant, by the way. I'd only ever want to have a child with you." Silvia's tearful smile says it all.
10. Oh, Silvia! Que perfecta eres.
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind.
Wut in da hell? Silvia. Being awesome. And gorgeous. And lovable. And...
See for yourself: -
Why: I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me before this season, but I wholeheartedly love and adore Silvia. I'd be BFFs with Pepa and date Silvia. Totally. There's just something in Silvia's character (or Marián Aguilera, I don't know) that does it for me. She's so adorable and sweet. Maybe it's the red hair. Anyway, I. LOVE. HER.
9. Yes. It's a goat.
Category: What a...?
Wut in da hell? Various animals are brought in from a raid and one of them, a goat, sticks around, making humorous appearances throughout the episode.
See for yourself: Chaos at the precinct.
Why: Again, only in LHDP. The hotel room operation is a complete disaster--exactly what we've learned to expect from our favourite police officers--and the goat is icing on the cake of said disaster. Montoya's resigned posture & look when the goat munches on the duvet is comedy at its finest.
8. Pepa Shows You How Its Done.
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind.
Wut in da hell: Pepa at the department's shooting rink. Hothothothothot!
See for yourself: -
Why: Because she fires a gun with one hand only. It's so ridiculously hot and cool that it makes Curtis' attempt (albeit rather pathetic to begin with) look like a shot made by a complete amateur. They really should have Pepa use her gun more often, I'm just saying.
7. The Hand Touch of the Fairytale Kind.
Category: It's lo~ve!
Wut in da hell? When leaving Cachi (after some serious eye shagging), Pepa & Silvia's hands accidentally brush against each other, causing them both to turn around in slow motion and gaze at each other.
See for yourself: The first three minutes.
Why: Their hands touching, the looks, the music, slow motion... In any other show it'd be completely over the top, but in LHDP it's not. It's obvious that these two are meant to be - this scene is a prime example of Fairytale Love 101. And if someone has the score that's playing on the background, I'll love you forever and ever!
6. Silvia = Lovely. Silvia Wearing a Police Vest = Even Lovelier.
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind.
Wut in da hell? Silvia explores a crime scene while sporting a police vest.
See for yourself: -
Why: Vests, uniforms, any 'official' outfits and I come running. And Silvia looks especially wonderful dressed in official police gear. Yes, this is another example of my current Silvia obsession, but can you really blame me? Guh.
5. The Case of the Dead Chicken.
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? Before an important fight, Mariano feeds their chicken steroids (and God knows what else) and the poor creature keels over.
See for yourself: From 1:15 onwards.
Why: Again, this show makes me laugh like nothing else. The chicken's legs, pointing skyward, is a particularly hilarious detail. Classic Paco & Mariano - something always goes wrong at the worst possible moment.
4. One...Two...Three...Shoot!
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? In order to decide who gets to take part in an escort in a G8 convention, Povedilla, Quique, Rita and Nelson eventually decide to wear bullet proof vests and shoot one another to the chest - the ultimate test.
See for yourself: -
Why: Ridiculous, but oh, so insanely funny that I start laughing just by thinking of it. The icing on the cake, of course, is the appearance of Don Lorenzo & a group of CIA agents; naturally, the former has just complimented his department and the professionalism of his officers. Again, only in LHDP.
3. Inappropriate Touching.
Category: Comedy gold.
Wut in da hell? Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances, Curtis ends up first slapping Pepa on the butt and then, some episodes later, grabbing her boob.
See for yourself: "What the fuck are you doing, Curtis?!"
Why: I guess I should feel sorry for Curtis, but I don't. I'm overwhelmed by the funny! Curtis' feeble attempts to charm Pepa don't work, and it is made clear to the viewers early on that Pepa/Curtis is the complete opposite of Pepa/Silvia - even the score used in the butt grabbing scene underlines the juxtaposition. Inappropriate boob and arse grabbing should be a clear sign to just back off. Sorry, Curtis!
2. The Reconciliation We'd All Been Waiting for.
Category: It's lo~ve!
Wut in da hell? Pepa catches Silvia looking at her longingly and decides to make her move. Silvia doesn't seem to even consider resisting.
See for yourself: Awwwwww.
Why: Well, it took about ten episodes, but it was so worth it. The chemistry between Pepa & Silvia has been absolutely palpable from the beginning and, in a way, they've become the leading romantic couple on the show now that Lucas is gone (don't even get me started on the mind-numbing Sara/Aitor shilly-shally). This scene is so perfect, and when Pepa and Silvia finally hug, the feeling of relief and joy is obvious in them both.
1. Spread 'em!
Category: Shallowness of the shallowest kind / It's lo~ve!
Wut in da hell? Pepa ambushes Silvia in a car park and "arrests" the redhead for abandoning Pepa, hitting her and ignoring her repeatedly.
See for yourself: Ahem. I'll be in my bunk.
Why: Holy crap and then some. Only on Spanish TV, seriously. This is, by far, the scene of the season - I'm not sure I've seen anything even remotely as, well, hot on any other show ever (even The L Word, because the emotion etc. behind the car park scene is in a different league than any scene of TLW ever was). Hand in trousers! HAND. IN. TROUSERS. Shit. I also love it how utterly GAY Silvia is nowadays, because she goes straight to the zipper of Pepa's jeans when Pepa pushes her down & out of the sight of Curtis. The #1 spot on the list is very much deserved.
Oh, I love this show. I love it so. damn. much. ♥