(no subject)
there are incredibly few things in my life that i regret, almost no things that i cannot justify in some sort of space-time for myself. one of these few things has a name.
for years i could not comprehend the idea that one would grow to sorely dislike a person to whom one had been attracted to to the point of a relationship. ah the folly of youth. i now know the terror that is "an ex" and the sometimes constant anguish which accompanies it.
I could bitch and moan about this stupid bastard but truthfully i don't care. i don't care enough to purposefully use words that he would not understand. i don't care enough that i almost... almost told him that he was a thought experiment gone terribly wrong. but i didn't. i can't be that terrible. one can only hope that he doesn't know my lj name.
i could bitch and moan, but what i really want to know is this: how does this happen? how can a competent young woman like myself, who is a valued friend to many because of her wisdom and insight, how could i not see this coming!?! what foolish, disgusting, disgracing part of my little mind thought that it was a good idea to date a person i didn't know who has nothing in common with me other than a single friend? how and/or why, god damn it!
for years i could not comprehend the idea that one would grow to sorely dislike a person to whom one had been attracted to to the point of a relationship. ah the folly of youth. i now know the terror that is "an ex" and the sometimes constant anguish which accompanies it.
I could bitch and moan about this stupid bastard but truthfully i don't care. i don't care enough to purposefully use words that he would not understand. i don't care enough that i almost... almost told him that he was a thought experiment gone terribly wrong. but i didn't. i can't be that terrible. one can only hope that he doesn't know my lj name.
i could bitch and moan, but what i really want to know is this: how does this happen? how can a competent young woman like myself, who is a valued friend to many because of her wisdom and insight, how could i not see this coming!?! what foolish, disgusting, disgracing part of my little mind thought that it was a good idea to date a person i didn't know who has nothing in common with me other than a single friend? how and/or why, god damn it!