DETAILS
Hi. So we last left off on Tuesday, when I missed Subway Guy at the train station. Wednesday was not better; as I got to the train station a train was pulling away and something told me he was on that train. I waited through three trains, he didn't show, so hey, guess what. Yep, he was on that train that I missed. I had pretty much decided that I was going to try again for two more days, and then call it a loss and move on to obsessing about something else.
Thursday morning I got up before serialkarma to take my shower and get all prepared so that I wasn't rushing to get out the door. I pep talked myself during the entire walk to the train station. About a block away my heart started pounding and I began to laugh at myself. Self! I thought, what the hell is wrong with you? People do this every day! It's not that hard! Berating myself seemed to calm me down somewhat, and I went to stand by the beam where he usually is, checked myself to make sure everything was in place, and then stood there oh so nonchalantly like I just happened to arrive thirty minutes earlier than normal.
I waited for about five minutes, with no sign of him. The buzzer at the station started sounding, indicating a train was approaching. No sign of him. I backed up against the wall a little, prepared to let this one pass. Just as the train was pulling in, I looked up and LO! Who was walking toward me?! Subway Guy!!
He saw me and smiled and walked right up to me, and said hello. He was fidgeting with the lid on his coffee and saying something about how it was good to see me, asking how had I been, and I realized at that moment that I did not have a contingency plan for what happened -- which is NOTHING.
He didn't say anything about not emailing; we got on the car together and talked the whole way to his stop, etcetc, it was all very nice and lovely. I babbled about how I had to go into work early to get stuff done, we talked about school and work, and gahd, other things that sort of passed in a blur. The train was really crowded and there was no good way to dig into my purse for my phone and we kept having to move around to let people on and off and then it was his stop and NOBODY said anything about going out and no numbers were exchanged. He smiled and said have a nice day and I thought Why oh why do I have to be so AWKWARD!?!?!
Of course then I analyzed our conversation the entire rest of the day. I fretted that I talked too much about myself -- and then I started thinking about what he talked about. He said he's been really busy -- apparently he has class every night and on Saturday too, in addition to his full time job, which I thought was his way of telling me why he hadn't emailed me? Maybe? I cannot analyze the inner workings of men.
Sigh.
So okay, I decided yesterday LYRA. BUCK UP. I began to psych myself up for asking him out. Now that I'd seen him after a three week drought, the tension had been somewhat relieved. Alright, I decided, I am going to go there again tomorrow morning and just fraking ask him out, ask him for his phone number, whatever.
This morning I get to the train station and I was a little nervous but I'd rehearsed a hundred different ways to ask him. I stood there in my cute knee high boots and skirt, scarf wrapped around my neck and tried not to fidget too much. The train begins to approach and I grit my teeth, prepared to step back and miss this one and wait for the next one. Only then, hey! Who but should appear at my right elbow? Subway Guy! "Hi!" he says, "You're here again! Didn't get all your work done yesterday?" Yes, Subway Guy. That's it. I'm here again, what a coincidence (!) and I am going into work early again (!) because I haven't been STALKING YOU ALL WEEK.
I kind of smiled and started to say, "yeah haha" like a total COPOUT but I mentally caught myself and then I swear my heart stopped and y'all, gahd, I had an out of body experience as the world around me just froze and the air got still and I heard myself say, "well, uh, yeah, but actually I was wondering if I might have your phone number and if you'd like to go out sometime."
*gulp*
And then he SMILED and sort of blinked and laughed kind of and HE SAID YES. "Yeah, yeah," he said, nodding his head. "That ..." (and here he stuttered) "that would be good."
WHOOSH and the world began again and we stepped onto the train and ohmigahd. I was shaking. Now, (and SK says he gets brownie points for this next part) he did tell me, right then and there, that he would like to go out, but that he wanted to be honest and let me know that he'd dated a couple of girls earlier this year (and okay hi he dates about as INFREQUENTLY as I do woot for two awkward people fumbling through life) and that -- because he was so focussed on school and getting his degree, and didn't have a lot of free time -- that he found it difficult to "advance the relationships". And I'm standing there thinking "Dude, I don't want to advance this to the altar, I just want to advance it to the bedroom" but I smiled and was like, hey, thanks for telling me, so we go out, have dinner, see what happens. And okay, sure, I could give him brownie points for that I think, because he's being honest, but HI this guy doesn't know what's about to hit him. ME. \o/.
Don't get me wrong, I would love a relationship at this point in my life; it's been a long time since I've been serious about anybody and a little stability in that area would be quite welcome, but HI right now I just want Subway Guy to take me to dinner and then FUCK ME. Yes. I SAID IT, BITCHES!
Alright, so he pulled out his phone and dialed my number and I pulled out my phone to stop it from ringing and the phone was shaking in my hand and I was all, BREATHE, LYRA, BREATHE. And then we talked the rest of his ride about who the hell even knows what, and I probably again babbled too much about myself, but I did not even CARE, because he said I WILL CALL YOU TO SET UP THE DATE.
Y'all. He's just so nice. He's so CUTE. His eyes crinkle up in the nicest way when he smiles. He's a good person, you know? He works at a rehabilitation center for Alzheimer's patients and oh! he's in school for sociology and philosophy. Also, he's "writing a novel" which I totally giggled at on the inside, because come ON, who isn't writing a novel, but he was all "my passion is people" and "I want to advance sociology" and *smitten*.
Oh shit, y'all. I'm SMITTEN.
*no hope*
So while there is no set date for the date, he does not seem the type to flake out and I will be calm and collected until he calls me and WE GO OUT. Um, yes, at this point it's even amusing to me that STILL I cannot definitively state WHEN we are going out, but soon! V. soon!
I think I am going to ask him if he wants to go to the Botanic Gardens as the date, because it would be an afternoon low pressure I am not sure if I can advance this relationship because I am soooo busy (I gently call bullshit) date! Did I mention he's not going to know what hit him? :)
*dances*
Thursday morning I got up before serialkarma to take my shower and get all prepared so that I wasn't rushing to get out the door. I pep talked myself during the entire walk to the train station. About a block away my heart started pounding and I began to laugh at myself. Self! I thought, what the hell is wrong with you? People do this every day! It's not that hard! Berating myself seemed to calm me down somewhat, and I went to stand by the beam where he usually is, checked myself to make sure everything was in place, and then stood there oh so nonchalantly like I just happened to arrive thirty minutes earlier than normal.
I waited for about five minutes, with no sign of him. The buzzer at the station started sounding, indicating a train was approaching. No sign of him. I backed up against the wall a little, prepared to let this one pass. Just as the train was pulling in, I looked up and LO! Who was walking toward me?! Subway Guy!!
He saw me and smiled and walked right up to me, and said hello. He was fidgeting with the lid on his coffee and saying something about how it was good to see me, asking how had I been, and I realized at that moment that I did not have a contingency plan for what happened -- which is NOTHING.
He didn't say anything about not emailing; we got on the car together and talked the whole way to his stop, etcetc, it was all very nice and lovely. I babbled about how I had to go into work early to get stuff done, we talked about school and work, and gahd, other things that sort of passed in a blur. The train was really crowded and there was no good way to dig into my purse for my phone and we kept having to move around to let people on and off and then it was his stop and NOBODY said anything about going out and no numbers were exchanged. He smiled and said have a nice day and I thought Why oh why do I have to be so AWKWARD!?!?!
Of course then I analyzed our conversation the entire rest of the day. I fretted that I talked too much about myself -- and then I started thinking about what he talked about. He said he's been really busy -- apparently he has class every night and on Saturday too, in addition to his full time job, which I thought was his way of telling me why he hadn't emailed me? Maybe? I cannot analyze the inner workings of men.
Sigh.
So okay, I decided yesterday LYRA. BUCK UP. I began to psych myself up for asking him out. Now that I'd seen him after a three week drought, the tension had been somewhat relieved. Alright, I decided, I am going to go there again tomorrow morning and just fraking ask him out, ask him for his phone number, whatever.
This morning I get to the train station and I was a little nervous but I'd rehearsed a hundred different ways to ask him. I stood there in my cute knee high boots and skirt, scarf wrapped around my neck and tried not to fidget too much. The train begins to approach and I grit my teeth, prepared to step back and miss this one and wait for the next one. Only then, hey! Who but should appear at my right elbow? Subway Guy! "Hi!" he says, "You're here again! Didn't get all your work done yesterday?" Yes, Subway Guy. That's it. I'm here again, what a coincidence (!) and I am going into work early again (!) because I haven't been STALKING YOU ALL WEEK.
I kind of smiled and started to say, "yeah haha" like a total COPOUT but I mentally caught myself and then I swear my heart stopped and y'all, gahd, I had an out of body experience as the world around me just froze and the air got still and I heard myself say, "well, uh, yeah, but actually I was wondering if I might have your phone number and if you'd like to go out sometime."
*gulp*
And then he SMILED and sort of blinked and laughed kind of and HE SAID YES. "Yeah, yeah," he said, nodding his head. "That ..." (and here he stuttered) "that would be good."
WHOOSH and the world began again and we stepped onto the train and ohmigahd. I was shaking. Now, (and SK says he gets brownie points for this next part) he did tell me, right then and there, that he would like to go out, but that he wanted to be honest and let me know that he'd dated a couple of girls earlier this year (and okay hi he dates about as INFREQUENTLY as I do woot for two awkward people fumbling through life) and that -- because he was so focussed on school and getting his degree, and didn't have a lot of free time -- that he found it difficult to "advance the relationships". And I'm standing there thinking "Dude, I don't want to advance this to the altar, I just want to advance it to the bedroom" but I smiled and was like, hey, thanks for telling me, so we go out, have dinner, see what happens. And okay, sure, I could give him brownie points for that I think, because he's being honest, but HI this guy doesn't know what's about to hit him. ME. \o/.
Don't get me wrong, I would love a relationship at this point in my life; it's been a long time since I've been serious about anybody and a little stability in that area would be quite welcome, but HI right now I just want Subway Guy to take me to dinner and then FUCK ME. Yes. I SAID IT, BITCHES!
Alright, so he pulled out his phone and dialed my number and I pulled out my phone to stop it from ringing and the phone was shaking in my hand and I was all, BREATHE, LYRA, BREATHE. And then we talked the rest of his ride about who the hell even knows what, and I probably again babbled too much about myself, but I did not even CARE, because he said I WILL CALL YOU TO SET UP THE DATE.
Y'all. He's just so nice. He's so CUTE. His eyes crinkle up in the nicest way when he smiles. He's a good person, you know? He works at a rehabilitation center for Alzheimer's patients and oh! he's in school for sociology and philosophy. Also, he's "writing a novel" which I totally giggled at on the inside, because come ON, who isn't writing a novel, but he was all "my passion is people" and "I want to advance sociology" and *smitten*.
Oh shit, y'all. I'm SMITTEN.
*no hope*
So while there is no set date for the date, he does not seem the type to flake out and I will be calm and collected until he calls me and WE GO OUT. Um, yes, at this point it's even amusing to me that STILL I cannot definitively state WHEN we are going out, but soon! V. soon!
I think I am going to ask him if he wants to go to the Botanic Gardens as the date, because it would be an afternoon low pressure I am not sure if I can advance this relationship because I am soooo busy (I gently call bullshit) date! Did I mention he's not going to know what hit him? :)
*dances*