(no subject)
Testing... testing... 1...2...3....
Nope... Nothing.
"The surest sign that there is intelligent life in the universe is that they have yet to contact us."
Funny... It still fits. As do... oh so many of the things I've rediscovered on this journal. The more things change.....
It's true... I find it a bit ironic that I've found my way back here.. and it's not just in that 'full-circle of life' kind of way, either... tho I'll admit that there's some self-imposed hubris in that. It's funny, because in a way, I'm ending my life the way that I really, truely began it... Not wanting an audience... not looking for followers, or subscribers, or likes, or popularity... but simply for a place where I could get -away- from all of that bullshit. I started this journal (apparently) back in 2003, and if I am to trust my younger self (which I foolishly do) I just wanted a place where I could be -me-. Free of judgement... in all its forms. Free to just... let the demons inside my head run abound, without apollogy or compromise. That's all I ever really wanted... And in the naiveity of my youth, I lost sight of that, somewhere. I suppose we all do, the world being the self-aggrandizing shithole that it is and whatnot. I can only be so hard on others when I have the records here to look back on myself, after all... and man what a ride that's been so far... and will continue to be, I have no doubt. I was such a shit. But then again, I guess I probably still am. The more things change...
So, here I am, LJ... back to the whopping... I dunno, 5 people that still use you? How are you still alive, anyway? But I couldn't be happier to be back... What others see as a burned and barren wasteland of a once lush and thriving forest 'back in the day', and others have only read about in the archieved history books of WikiFur, if they've even heard of it at all, I see opportunity. For once again can I say what I want to say without the fear of judgement. This pile of once smoldering and long since extinguished ashes is -your- wasteland... but it's -my- playground. My demons can run free here... off leash, and unsupervised. And they don't have to apologize to anyone. Not that they would at this point, anyway. =p
And why bother typing all this out, in a 'public' forum that is long since extinct? I don't know, really... Obvious logistics aside... why not just scroll in Word, save files, and be done, if that's -all- this is? I can't really answer that. I never really could, honestly, despite the same option being there... god... 16 years ago. My LJ is old enough to drive a car... HAH! That's... kinda fucking funny. I guess it's the same reason the old man on an island writes letters in a bottle... he knows they'll never get anywhere... but that's not really the point. It's not about the letters getting anywhere... it's about him believing that, one day, they might. And yeah, maybe that's sad and pathetic... But when you're stranded alone, on an island, with no salvation but the cliff in sight... You've got to believe that one day, maybe one will.
So here we are... Cue dramatic music... fade to black... earth-shattering drum-boom... BAM! The ending title...
Or is it the beginning?