very random, please excuse me, it just kept coming out
So, what's it been now since I updated? And actually put up a real entry? lol probably longer than I wish to say. So what's up in my life... I am currently trying to stay away from Saginaw for no other reason than I just don't want to go back. Ben let me stay with him and I gladly accepted. I graduated... woo... that actually really sucks. I don't get to go back to Mt. Pleasant except on visits now. Everyone I know and love is moving away from me and I hate it... I wish we could all just move in a caravan together so that we could never have to miss each other. Of course, that'll never work because we all have lives seperate from each other.
I'm sad I don't have a job... I've applied to many places, out of state places, and nothing. Apparently English was the worst decision I could have made for a major... next to history of course (my other major). So now what do I do? Do I even want to teach anymore? I have no FREAKING idea. I don't know what I want to do with my life!!! Besides travel. Can I get paid to do that?? No. Of course not. So, I chose teaching. I don't even know why anymore besides that it sounded like something I can do. I don't even know if I have a real passion for it or not. I loved student teaching so I know it's something I will enjoy... if I ever get a chance to anyway. So... grad school then. I'll try to get a job somewhere and take the GRE and all that so I can teach at the university level. Then I'll get to research.. but I hate the writing it all down bit. I'm so confused with my life. I don't like that I must chose a profession that I'll slave away the best years of my life in. I wish I could just spend time with the people I enjoy and see the world. That'd only work if I was spoiled and rich... So here I am, on the brink of the real world... and I'm about to fall off. I think I'm going to move to Colorado. Radical choice I realize but, since I am on the brink of the real world, I do get the benefit of going wherever I please. So, in CO I'd try to find a job teaching and eventually get my masters and doctorate. I love Colorado and have family there so it should be good. I'll miss people... one person in particular. Those who know me shouldn't have to ask. I don't know what will become of us... I know there won't be marriage (sorry to disappoint everyone who keeps asking). He said it'll be at least 5 years before he makes such a decision. I really don't understand why men are so terrified of marriage. Good God guys, if you think the girl's going to be a cruel demeaning woman, DON'T MARRY HER! Don't even date her! It's so easy! Marry a woman you love who is kind to you and is someone you can grow old with. Why did all these horrible things about marriage come about?? I hate it, because I do want to get married, but men run in the other direction when that subject comes up. Blah! Marriage isn't the only thing I want though, I just want to be happy. I want to find a job that I'm good at and that I'll like. I've never had a strong point in anything though and therefore never formed a passion for anything. Except books. Hence the English major.
College has been the best part of my life so far... and now it's over. I'm sad to see it go... only because I have no idea where I am going. It's kind of exciting though... but scary. Life should come with a manual for those who are clueless...
I'm sad I don't have a job... I've applied to many places, out of state places, and nothing. Apparently English was the worst decision I could have made for a major... next to history of course (my other major). So now what do I do? Do I even want to teach anymore? I have no FREAKING idea. I don't know what I want to do with my life!!! Besides travel. Can I get paid to do that?? No. Of course not. So, I chose teaching. I don't even know why anymore besides that it sounded like something I can do. I don't even know if I have a real passion for it or not. I loved student teaching so I know it's something I will enjoy... if I ever get a chance to anyway. So... grad school then. I'll try to get a job somewhere and take the GRE and all that so I can teach at the university level. Then I'll get to research.. but I hate the writing it all down bit. I'm so confused with my life. I don't like that I must chose a profession that I'll slave away the best years of my life in. I wish I could just spend time with the people I enjoy and see the world. That'd only work if I was spoiled and rich... So here I am, on the brink of the real world... and I'm about to fall off. I think I'm going to move to Colorado. Radical choice I realize but, since I am on the brink of the real world, I do get the benefit of going wherever I please. So, in CO I'd try to find a job teaching and eventually get my masters and doctorate. I love Colorado and have family there so it should be good. I'll miss people... one person in particular. Those who know me shouldn't have to ask. I don't know what will become of us... I know there won't be marriage (sorry to disappoint everyone who keeps asking). He said it'll be at least 5 years before he makes such a decision. I really don't understand why men are so terrified of marriage. Good God guys, if you think the girl's going to be a cruel demeaning woman, DON'T MARRY HER! Don't even date her! It's so easy! Marry a woman you love who is kind to you and is someone you can grow old with. Why did all these horrible things about marriage come about?? I hate it, because I do want to get married, but men run in the other direction when that subject comes up. Blah! Marriage isn't the only thing I want though, I just want to be happy. I want to find a job that I'm good at and that I'll like. I've never had a strong point in anything though and therefore never formed a passion for anything. Except books. Hence the English major.
College has been the best part of my life so far... and now it's over. I'm sad to see it go... only because I have no idea where I am going. It's kind of exciting though... but scary. Life should come with a manual for those who are clueless...