The search continues
i need to do some back updating because i get into the main point of this update. i went to the second night of auditions and had a fun time there. Gene didn't have the list up on Friday so i had to wait the weekend to see if i made the cast. i set my expectations low, as i usually do, so when i don't get a part i'm not as disappointed. on the other hand, when you do get a part (a bigger one than you expected) it feels freakin' awesome! i've been given the part of Mrs. Thoreau, Henry Thoreau's mother. so that was great news.
i went to Colville this last weekend for a few reasons. the most important was it was the last time i'd get to see Andrew before he headed back to Seattle. my family and i took him to dinner and then he stayed the night at my house so we could cuddle and maximize our time together. he was sick that night though, so i didn't get that much sleep because i was worried. his temp reached a recorded peak of 102.3. i went to sleep after his temp went down. the next morning, i helped him gather what little things he had at my place and walked him to his car. we find out that his car is out of gas and my dad is gone so we can't get into the shop to one of the gas cans... so i drove him to his house. it was cold, and early in the morning. but it was nice getting to see Andrew for an extra hour or so. then i left his place, and he soon left for Seattle. as a favor, i'd told him family i'd watch after their new cat, so i did that too. then i had to talk to the one person that i can say that i hate and will always hate... Roger. i had to tell him where dad was and how to get there. what i really wanted to do was tell him how much of a dick he is and how i'm not a drug dealing/abusing whore (because thats what he told my parents i was several years ago without any merit). i was civil but show the least amount of curtosy as possible. to end my weekend, i packed up more of my things and was getting ready to leave when my sister was having health problems and had to be taken to the hospital. she is fine now which is great. after packing the car mom and i were ready to head out... but we couldn't leave just yet because the lock on my trunk broke and now it wont latch. dad had to use a bungee cord to keep the trunk from flying open. it made it to Cheney.
oh, i didn't get into the Communications class because there was only one spot open and instead of basing it on need, she picked because of alphabetical order. damn grad student teachers anyway.
now for the important stuff. i had my first walk-in counseling appointment. i had actually decided on the walk-in after signing up for a real appointment with a couselor that i'll see on a regular basis. the thought of me actually needing this service frightened me and almost started crying in their lobby (thus the reason for the walk-in). i left feeling reassured that this is the right decision. something happened to me this summer that is keeping me from taking care of my mental self like i've done in the past. it isn't "junior year jitters" that Bethy suggested. school is fine. but i want to fix myself so i can take care of myself again. to make sure i know what i'm fixing, i have to know what is wrong. i suspect that i'm just going through a rough mental time and will be better after some counseling. however, my fear is that this is a chemical inbalance and some trips to the counselor just wont cut it. so today at 2, i'm getting screened for depression by a medical doctor. i'd be lying if i said that i'm comfortable with this, but the truth is i'm terrified.
i went to Colville this last weekend for a few reasons. the most important was it was the last time i'd get to see Andrew before he headed back to Seattle. my family and i took him to dinner and then he stayed the night at my house so we could cuddle and maximize our time together. he was sick that night though, so i didn't get that much sleep because i was worried. his temp reached a recorded peak of 102.3. i went to sleep after his temp went down. the next morning, i helped him gather what little things he had at my place and walked him to his car. we find out that his car is out of gas and my dad is gone so we can't get into the shop to one of the gas cans... so i drove him to his house. it was cold, and early in the morning. but it was nice getting to see Andrew for an extra hour or so. then i left his place, and he soon left for Seattle. as a favor, i'd told him family i'd watch after their new cat, so i did that too. then i had to talk to the one person that i can say that i hate and will always hate... Roger. i had to tell him where dad was and how to get there. what i really wanted to do was tell him how much of a dick he is and how i'm not a drug dealing/abusing whore (because thats what he told my parents i was several years ago without any merit). i was civil but show the least amount of curtosy as possible. to end my weekend, i packed up more of my things and was getting ready to leave when my sister was having health problems and had to be taken to the hospital. she is fine now which is great. after packing the car mom and i were ready to head out... but we couldn't leave just yet because the lock on my trunk broke and now it wont latch. dad had to use a bungee cord to keep the trunk from flying open. it made it to Cheney.
oh, i didn't get into the Communications class because there was only one spot open and instead of basing it on need, she picked because of alphabetical order. damn grad student teachers anyway.
now for the important stuff. i had my first walk-in counseling appointment. i had actually decided on the walk-in after signing up for a real appointment with a couselor that i'll see on a regular basis. the thought of me actually needing this service frightened me and almost started crying in their lobby (thus the reason for the walk-in). i left feeling reassured that this is the right decision. something happened to me this summer that is keeping me from taking care of my mental self like i've done in the past. it isn't "junior year jitters" that Bethy suggested. school is fine. but i want to fix myself so i can take care of myself again. to make sure i know what i'm fixing, i have to know what is wrong. i suspect that i'm just going through a rough mental time and will be better after some counseling. however, my fear is that this is a chemical inbalance and some trips to the counselor just wont cut it. so today at 2, i'm getting screened for depression by a medical doctor. i'd be lying if i said that i'm comfortable with this, but the truth is i'm terrified.