(no subject)
so this is the entry.
i was driving over devil's slide last night when it finally hit me. it's over. all of this high school, small town, friends since longer than we can remember - all of it gone. i don't even really know what it was, but it's finally here. i was not seized by the customary stomach wrenching panic. this time, it was a feeling of bliss. this summer is not perfect, in fact, it has barely qualified as a good time.
but last night, watching my friends play a drinking game aptly named "drunk driver" at a table littered with bottles of corona and smirnoff ice made me miss them. already. i love them all in their irksome predictable ways. i love andrew for whispering "best friends forever" in my ear, even though it hasn't been true since third grade. i love nick for getting up to walk me to the door, and for that to be such a huge display of affection. i love chad for pretending like he was going to ride home with me up until the very last second, just like he always does. i love jo for giving me drunken fashion advice. i love finbar, claire, and amanda for still waiting for me so we can all see dodgeball. i love bryan for being by dorky tech buddy. i love andi for being andi. i love allie for the million amazing conversations. i love dave for giving me a tight handshake, and for calling every guy i've ever been interested in "bartholmeu" to his face.
i love every member of my stupid class. i love this suffocating small town, love it so much, that i never realized what a hometown girl i was.
i can't even say why i love it all, because really, i don't know. but i'm going to miss them, so much that i know it will physically hurt.
i was driving over devil's slide last night when it finally hit me. it's over. all of this high school, small town, friends since longer than we can remember - all of it gone. i don't even really know what it was, but it's finally here. i was not seized by the customary stomach wrenching panic. this time, it was a feeling of bliss. this summer is not perfect, in fact, it has barely qualified as a good time.
but last night, watching my friends play a drinking game aptly named "drunk driver" at a table littered with bottles of corona and smirnoff ice made me miss them. already. i love them all in their irksome predictable ways. i love andrew for whispering "best friends forever" in my ear, even though it hasn't been true since third grade. i love nick for getting up to walk me to the door, and for that to be such a huge display of affection. i love chad for pretending like he was going to ride home with me up until the very last second, just like he always does. i love jo for giving me drunken fashion advice. i love finbar, claire, and amanda for still waiting for me so we can all see dodgeball. i love bryan for being by dorky tech buddy. i love andi for being andi. i love allie for the million amazing conversations. i love dave for giving me a tight handshake, and for calling every guy i've ever been interested in "bartholmeu" to his face.
i love every member of my stupid class. i love this suffocating small town, love it so much, that i never realized what a hometown girl i was.
i can't even say why i love it all, because really, i don't know. but i'm going to miss them, so much that i know it will physically hurt.