"Don't worry baby...don't worry baby...everything will turn out all right..."
Hello, hello. I posted a blog on myspace, but I decided it's been awhile since I posted something here. "It's summertime...and the living's easy..." Ain't that the truth? I do enjoy summer for the simple fact that there are so few worries. No real deadlines, just living the way you'd life. I'm working at the radio station for credits which is slightly stressful only because I'm not sure I'm gonna get the hours I need. Oh well, I still have plenty of time. Other than that, I talked to my old boss at the pharmacy today and we have a meeting tomorrow to discuss a possible schedule. I don't really WANT to go back, but it's so convenient and I need another job desperately. I wish money wasn't so important in this world. Blah.
Emotionally, I'm doing really well. It's unfortunate that something like that is such an "accomplishment", but alas, it is. I'm able to separate myself from the source of most of my anxiety the past year. That source being James. I finally feel comfortable saying his name in this domain. I left it out, not for fear that he might read, but for fear that the wrong person might. If you don't understand why that's a worry, ::shrug:: that's not my issue. I haven't seen him since May 19th. It's probably a good thing. It's unclear whether or not I'll see him again. Needless to say, I think, for my own sanity, it's probably better that I don't. As much as I'd like to, it just wouldn't be in my best interest and I think I can accept that. I can close that chapter in my book. Hopefully, next year, there won't be anything like that to distract me and I can just finish out my last year semi-sane (maybe not always sober though, haha).
The one thing that seems to be carrying over into the summer from the past year is my friendship with Jess. I love Jess. She is truly like my baby sister. She reminds me a lot of who I was. She's farther along than I ever was, but there's still that comfort level that I want to help her find. Unfortunately, ever since we talked towards the end of the semester, I know I've been pushing her away. I don't want to do that to her because I know it's not fair and it's not right. But I can't help it. I still carry around the hurt of the whole situation. I'm trying to fix it but I just don't know how. ::Sigh:: Hopefully it will be figured out.
I think that's enough for now. Love you all! Smooches!!!
Emotionally, I'm doing really well. It's unfortunate that something like that is such an "accomplishment", but alas, it is. I'm able to separate myself from the source of most of my anxiety the past year. That source being James. I finally feel comfortable saying his name in this domain. I left it out, not for fear that he might read, but for fear that the wrong person might. If you don't understand why that's a worry, ::shrug:: that's not my issue. I haven't seen him since May 19th. It's probably a good thing. It's unclear whether or not I'll see him again. Needless to say, I think, for my own sanity, it's probably better that I don't. As much as I'd like to, it just wouldn't be in my best interest and I think I can accept that. I can close that chapter in my book. Hopefully, next year, there won't be anything like that to distract me and I can just finish out my last year semi-sane (maybe not always sober though, haha).
The one thing that seems to be carrying over into the summer from the past year is my friendship with Jess. I love Jess. She is truly like my baby sister. She reminds me a lot of who I was. She's farther along than I ever was, but there's still that comfort level that I want to help her find. Unfortunately, ever since we talked towards the end of the semester, I know I've been pushing her away. I don't want to do that to her because I know it's not fair and it's not right. But I can't help it. I still carry around the hurt of the whole situation. I'm trying to fix it but I just don't know how. ::Sigh:: Hopefully it will be figured out.
I think that's enough for now. Love you all! Smooches!!!