Clearing the road, as to move forward.
I would not say that I am out of the woods yet, as I still have things I want and need to say. My goal is to discuss the things that bother me prior to the end of March. The meds I feel are helping me to be more upfront, and to speak my feelings rather then sulking and just accepting. Life definitely does not always turn out like the story book tale you imagined it would be, there is always a rewrite, a compromise, many optional endings.
The reality is that I must do what needs to be done to keep my soul happy, and intact. Have I been doing that? Let's just say that I have been looking for that happiness down wrong avenues. I probably will still do so, while in the meantime looking for the stronger bonds that I know exist out there.
In some way or another I guess we all have our own little bag of secrets. If opened make us vulnerable, or make life a little less exciting, because then the secret be known to everyone. Just as little white lies are used to protect, and lessen the degree of harm to a person, I guess little white secrets are okay as long as they are personal, and do not necessarily hurt another if found out. They may sting a bit, but upon inspection really did no damage.
I need to learn to accept that which is, speak my piece, and leave the past stand as it has played out, live today as it were my last, and clear the slate as to move on too tomorrow where the future awaits. Truely "WORRY" is the silent killer amongst all of us. Each of us can only do that which we are capable of. Even though at times others want to push me, I am standing my ground that I need to care for myself. Let them pick up the slack if they are not happy with the outcomes. Why should I be pushed to make them happy, instead of them doing the work to achieve their own happiness. Why should I be running, while they are whining and sitting on their asses. I want some rest and relaxation as well. I want to maintain my health as I deal with 2 conditions at this point. It is time for me to put up my armor, my deflector plates, and return induced stress back to the origin from where it came. Why should I deal with someone elses problem, or their inability to perform? I am not the problem, they have the problem, so let them either fix it, or live with the consequences.
I am a work in progress. I am tired of reliving this scenerio year after year. Time for me to speak up, live my life, invite those close to me to share in it, and move forward on the road that is left of my life happily.
Am I doing it alone? Or will you be joining me?
The reality is that I must do what needs to be done to keep my soul happy, and intact. Have I been doing that? Let's just say that I have been looking for that happiness down wrong avenues. I probably will still do so, while in the meantime looking for the stronger bonds that I know exist out there.
In some way or another I guess we all have our own little bag of secrets. If opened make us vulnerable, or make life a little less exciting, because then the secret be known to everyone. Just as little white lies are used to protect, and lessen the degree of harm to a person, I guess little white secrets are okay as long as they are personal, and do not necessarily hurt another if found out. They may sting a bit, but upon inspection really did no damage.
I need to learn to accept that which is, speak my piece, and leave the past stand as it has played out, live today as it were my last, and clear the slate as to move on too tomorrow where the future awaits. Truely "WORRY" is the silent killer amongst all of us. Each of us can only do that which we are capable of. Even though at times others want to push me, I am standing my ground that I need to care for myself. Let them pick up the slack if they are not happy with the outcomes. Why should I be pushed to make them happy, instead of them doing the work to achieve their own happiness. Why should I be running, while they are whining and sitting on their asses. I want some rest and relaxation as well. I want to maintain my health as I deal with 2 conditions at this point. It is time for me to put up my armor, my deflector plates, and return induced stress back to the origin from where it came. Why should I deal with someone elses problem, or their inability to perform? I am not the problem, they have the problem, so let them either fix it, or live with the consequences.
I am a work in progress. I am tired of reliving this scenerio year after year. Time for me to speak up, live my life, invite those close to me to share in it, and move forward on the road that is left of my life happily.
Am I doing it alone? Or will you be joining me?