feels like a flood in my head
during this past month (i hate febuary, as some of you might know), i have been dragging myself around; to work, to school, to bars. i complain constantly about the people i work with, the customers i deal with, the teachers i can't stand, and they guys that inevitably turn out to be butt heads. im suffering from drastic mood swings which affect everyone around me, and i in turn feel like a giant jerk. last night i drank way too much of captain morgans. as molly would say, i let the captain go to sail. i didnt set my alarm, because i knew i would wake up dizzy as hell with a throbbing hangover. but i opened my eyes this morning, and i didnt feel a thing.
no, wait, i did feel something. it was actually quite refreshing but humiliating all at once. i opened my eyes and my first thought of the day way,
"what the hell are you doing?"
i am lucky enough to have my parents pay for my college education. i have a job at which i have the potential to make $110 on a wednesday night. i have friends who care about me, a family that loves me, bosses that respect me, and teachers that challange me. i have my own apartment which i love. i have a new hobby which im pretty good at, and very excited about. just because my life took a little detour doesnt give me the right to loathe it and complain about it. things happen for a reason. if i still lived in lexington, chances are i would fall through a glass window and kill myself... ;) i have opportunities that so many people are deprived of. i have the chance to go to school and become something great. just because im not strong enough to get over something that happened one year ago doesnt mean i can throw away the rest of my life.
we have unlimited amount of chances in the life. im on atleast number 1,073. everytime we fall, we have the opportunity to get up and try again... if we so choose. this doesnt mean my complaints will end. im sure i will have many more. but for now, i am going to acknowledge all the good things i have in my life, and start to respect them. when life fucks you over, sometimes you just have to trun arounf, flip the bird and say, "fuck you too, world" and keep on living.
no, wait, i did feel something. it was actually quite refreshing but humiliating all at once. i opened my eyes and my first thought of the day way,
"what the hell are you doing?"
i am lucky enough to have my parents pay for my college education. i have a job at which i have the potential to make $110 on a wednesday night. i have friends who care about me, a family that loves me, bosses that respect me, and teachers that challange me. i have my own apartment which i love. i have a new hobby which im pretty good at, and very excited about. just because my life took a little detour doesnt give me the right to loathe it and complain about it. things happen for a reason. if i still lived in lexington, chances are i would fall through a glass window and kill myself... ;) i have opportunities that so many people are deprived of. i have the chance to go to school and become something great. just because im not strong enough to get over something that happened one year ago doesnt mean i can throw away the rest of my life.
we have unlimited amount of chances in the life. im on atleast number 1,073. everytime we fall, we have the opportunity to get up and try again... if we so choose. this doesnt mean my complaints will end. im sure i will have many more. but for now, i am going to acknowledge all the good things i have in my life, and start to respect them. when life fucks you over, sometimes you just have to trun arounf, flip the bird and say, "fuck you too, world" and keep on living.