Fun is the Pitts.
I thoroughly enjoyed my time in the 'Burgh. Excuse me, Da Burgh.
I have made another resolution to not let my dad guilt trip me into staying at his house every day. I was there way too much and he hardly hung out with me. He disappeared twice while I was there, without telling me where he was going, so I just sat and read my book. Everytime I am there we just sit in his living room and argue. I'm going to insist that we go visit some of his friends or go shooting or something next time so we can't get into any political discussions.
He argued with me about my wedding plans and told me that sooner or later I have to face reality. WTF!!!??? Reality has been slapping the shit out of me since it cracked my bottom at birth. I was tempted to tell him off and slam the door behind me, but then I realized that I'd be leaving in his car, and also wasn't going to let him reduce me to my former 14 yr old self.
He also brought up the subject of his x, Tresa, leading to the discussion once again where I want to tell him that it is completely impossible to live with him b/c everything has to be done his way, he tends to demean people without realizing the pain he causes, and his attitude is total shit. He puts up such a show to causual acquaintances. I always had to deal with people telling me how cool my dad was and knowing how emotionally abusive he really is. It made me feel like I was going crazy.
He continues to be pissed that he devoted his life to me for 18 years and I had the audicity to grow up and have my own life. This combined with my mother's psychopathic need to keep her children babies leads me to freak out at the possibility of having kids of my own. I don't want my kids to become adults who either hate and resent me and/or realize how stupid an pathetic I am. It seems inevitable, since as a kid we all thought our parents knew everything, and in reality they don't. At least my mom wasn't abusive, just neglectful.
Fuck reality.
So J, I'll be stealing your bed again at Xmas. Or your couch.
Once I came home I also began to try to pin down why exactly I feel more at home in Savannah than Pgh. Here in Savannah I feel like Nature is hovering close over me, which makes me feel safe. I feel like I can breathe easier. I just wish all you fuckers could come down more often, but I'm filled with happiness knowing that you are all my 'golden' friends. Time and space will never separate us. I love you all! Keep up the fabulocity!
I have made another resolution to not let my dad guilt trip me into staying at his house every day. I was there way too much and he hardly hung out with me. He disappeared twice while I was there, without telling me where he was going, so I just sat and read my book. Everytime I am there we just sit in his living room and argue. I'm going to insist that we go visit some of his friends or go shooting or something next time so we can't get into any political discussions.
He argued with me about my wedding plans and told me that sooner or later I have to face reality. WTF!!!??? Reality has been slapping the shit out of me since it cracked my bottom at birth. I was tempted to tell him off and slam the door behind me, but then I realized that I'd be leaving in his car, and also wasn't going to let him reduce me to my former 14 yr old self.
He also brought up the subject of his x, Tresa, leading to the discussion once again where I want to tell him that it is completely impossible to live with him b/c everything has to be done his way, he tends to demean people without realizing the pain he causes, and his attitude is total shit. He puts up such a show to causual acquaintances. I always had to deal with people telling me how cool my dad was and knowing how emotionally abusive he really is. It made me feel like I was going crazy.
He continues to be pissed that he devoted his life to me for 18 years and I had the audicity to grow up and have my own life. This combined with my mother's psychopathic need to keep her children babies leads me to freak out at the possibility of having kids of my own. I don't want my kids to become adults who either hate and resent me and/or realize how stupid an pathetic I am. It seems inevitable, since as a kid we all thought our parents knew everything, and in reality they don't. At least my mom wasn't abusive, just neglectful.
Fuck reality.
So J, I'll be stealing your bed again at Xmas. Or your couch.
Once I came home I also began to try to pin down why exactly I feel more at home in Savannah than Pgh. Here in Savannah I feel like Nature is hovering close over me, which makes me feel safe. I feel like I can breathe easier. I just wish all you fuckers could come down more often, but I'm filled with happiness knowing that you are all my 'golden' friends. Time and space will never separate us. I love you all! Keep up the fabulocity!