blah diggety blah
1) i just saw harry potter 6 for the... fourth... time. i still really like it. tom felton's acting/hotness still impress me, and, even though the second half kinda falls apart, the first half is paced well, acted well and generally awesome. also the sound editing and score are fucking INCREDIBLE, and the cinematography is beeeeeeyootiful. ♥
2) so i'm kind of into cookleta now? even though i don't even really know who either of them are? WHAT IS MY LIFE.
3) so, i'm back on the east coast again, chilling with my roommate for a few days before we head back for our SENIOR YEAR. we haven't seen each other for nine months because she went abroad last spring, to glasgow, and to be honest, being back together again is... weird. i totally love her, but she's a serious negative nancy, and i've spent all summer feeling pretty awesometown about myself and life, so it's kind of hard to talk to her sometimes. especially when we talk about this coming year. i'm super excited about it, i feel great about myself right now, and all she can do is bitch about how it sucks that she's single, and how it's going to be lame. and yeah, being single sucks, and it still sucks, but i'm at a place where i'm like, fuck it, i don't want a boyfriend if there aren't any good boys i really like around. i'm cool to just be myself and be awesome and be alone and like it, and she like, ugh. frustrating. :\
4) and ALSO, it's weird to be back because i spent my summer in denver, with my high school friends, and in santa fe, in a graduate english program. basically everyone i know in denver dropped out of college and are just kind of stagnating at home, so denver sucks, kind of, because it's just like high school never ended. but at the same time, it's where i come from: everyone there has my exact tastes in everything and i admit we're totally kinda hipsters and love art films and sitting in coffee shops. and in the grad program, everyone was also really cool and shared my tastes and my interests and shit.
but at middlebury, my friends (and basically everyone around me)... do not share my interests. no one likes my music, no one watches the movies i watch. like at home, i'm the least hip of all my friends, but at school, i'm the most hip, BY A MILE. which is a totally shitty and pretentious thing to say, but also kind of true. most of my close friends (including the roommate) grew up in small towns, in suburbs, in whitebread households, in preppy cookiecutter schools, and they all love to make fun of me for going to art school and liking weird bands and being pretentious. i feel like an asshole all the time, but i'm also like, jesus fuck, everyone here wants to graduate, get married, have 2.5 kids and the exact same life their parents had: kill me. but at least at school everyone's really intelligent, if not ambitious then at least really motivated and interested in turning into adults and being real people.
so at home, people share my tastes and interests, and at school, people share my motivation and energy. and at grad school it was like the best of both worlds, so basically, i'm ready to fucking graduate and go to a big city and surround myself with people more hip than me who still want to do something with their lives other than smoke weed.
all of this, i realize, makes me sound like the most giant bitch that ever lived.
i just don't want to go back home and be an artsy stoner in the liberal bubble of hipsterville. and i ALSO don't want to go work in an office and get married and have kids and move to the suburbs by the time i'm 30. i don't even know if i want to get married at all, or do any of that. i just want to go somewhere, and learn to be by myself, and learn to live & love my life, as myself. as the most awesome self i can be. i want to be able to be like, yes, i'm kind of a fucking hipster, and yes, i'm also a huge nerd, and yes, i'm also super motivated and on top of my shit, and no. i will not apologize for any of it.
2) so i'm kind of into cookleta now? even though i don't even really know who either of them are? WHAT IS MY LIFE.
3) so, i'm back on the east coast again, chilling with my roommate for a few days before we head back for our SENIOR YEAR. we haven't seen each other for nine months because she went abroad last spring, to glasgow, and to be honest, being back together again is... weird. i totally love her, but she's a serious negative nancy, and i've spent all summer feeling pretty awesometown about myself and life, so it's kind of hard to talk to her sometimes. especially when we talk about this coming year. i'm super excited about it, i feel great about myself right now, and all she can do is bitch about how it sucks that she's single, and how it's going to be lame. and yeah, being single sucks, and it still sucks, but i'm at a place where i'm like, fuck it, i don't want a boyfriend if there aren't any good boys i really like around. i'm cool to just be myself and be awesome and be alone and like it, and she like, ugh. frustrating. :\
4) and ALSO, it's weird to be back because i spent my summer in denver, with my high school friends, and in santa fe, in a graduate english program. basically everyone i know in denver dropped out of college and are just kind of stagnating at home, so denver sucks, kind of, because it's just like high school never ended. but at the same time, it's where i come from: everyone there has my exact tastes in everything and i admit we're totally kinda hipsters and love art films and sitting in coffee shops. and in the grad program, everyone was also really cool and shared my tastes and my interests and shit.
but at middlebury, my friends (and basically everyone around me)... do not share my interests. no one likes my music, no one watches the movies i watch. like at home, i'm the least hip of all my friends, but at school, i'm the most hip, BY A MILE. which is a totally shitty and pretentious thing to say, but also kind of true. most of my close friends (including the roommate) grew up in small towns, in suburbs, in whitebread households, in preppy cookiecutter schools, and they all love to make fun of me for going to art school and liking weird bands and being pretentious. i feel like an asshole all the time, but i'm also like, jesus fuck, everyone here wants to graduate, get married, have 2.5 kids and the exact same life their parents had: kill me. but at least at school everyone's really intelligent, if not ambitious then at least really motivated and interested in turning into adults and being real people.
so at home, people share my tastes and interests, and at school, people share my motivation and energy. and at grad school it was like the best of both worlds, so basically, i'm ready to fucking graduate and go to a big city and surround myself with people more hip than me who still want to do something with their lives other than smoke weed.
all of this, i realize, makes me sound like the most giant bitch that ever lived.
i just don't want to go back home and be an artsy stoner in the liberal bubble of hipsterville. and i ALSO don't want to go work in an office and get married and have kids and move to the suburbs by the time i'm 30. i don't even know if i want to get married at all, or do any of that. i just want to go somewhere, and learn to be by myself, and learn to live & love my life, as myself. as the most awesome self i can be. i want to be able to be like, yes, i'm kind of a fucking hipster, and yes, i'm also a huge nerd, and yes, i'm also super motivated and on top of my shit, and no. i will not apologize for any of it.