pancreas burps

[luvpumpkin]

so i don't think my moods are cycling as BIG but they are certainly are cycling MORE OFTEN.
(the duration and severity as less but still....)

all day i felt flat.
almost stupid.
(horrible headache all day... maybe that had something to do with it)

but now i feel like i am coming down from 10 shots of espresso, 4 red bulls, a ton of sugary candy, 3 ritalin and maybe 3.5 lines of coke.

i wana reach down my throat,rip out my heart and puncture-poke my lungs.
i wana run in circles to catch up to my own legs WHILE i staple-gun my eyelids shut so i can sleep.

i think if i burped my pancreas would come flying out.

my thoughts are bolts of lightening that stop short at approach
becoming thick drippy globs of gunk that clog my brain.

i wana sleep
but like calm, it eludes me.