the Interviewer & the Others
like someone with multiple personalities (DID), i too have a few residing within me.
i don't lose time, however.... just control.
in therapy sessions, interviews and first dates, there is a me present that i don't get to see very often....
this wonderful, pre-packaged, saleswoman of a person who like a puppeteer, pulls open the strings of my mouth and replaces my voice with hers.
she is made up of what is truly good about me and what is wacked out arrogant about me and waxes endlessly about my abilities, insight and strengths. she makes promises the real me, the pathetic me cannot live up to - not with the "others" around, that is.
the "others" who lie to me
tell me its scary outside
that people are coming to do me in
that no one can be trusted
that i will never succeed
that i am evil, dirty, broken and mad,
the others prevent me from delivering on the promises of the Interviewer
and leave me cowering in the corner wondering if they will find me
praying that they won't
and yet scared that they never will.
i don't lose time, however.... just control.
in therapy sessions, interviews and first dates, there is a me present that i don't get to see very often....
this wonderful, pre-packaged, saleswoman of a person who like a puppeteer, pulls open the strings of my mouth and replaces my voice with hers.
she is made up of what is truly good about me and what is wacked out arrogant about me and waxes endlessly about my abilities, insight and strengths. she makes promises the real me, the pathetic me cannot live up to - not with the "others" around, that is.
the "others" who lie to me
tell me its scary outside
that people are coming to do me in
that no one can be trusted
that i will never succeed
that i am evil, dirty, broken and mad,
the others prevent me from delivering on the promises of the Interviewer
and leave me cowering in the corner wondering if they will find me
praying that they won't
and yet scared that they never will.