(no subject)
Hm haven't posted in a long while.
Lets see.
I find I only blog when I'm depressed, things are desperate etc. it's not that I expect any of you to fix it. I don't. Be nice though ;)
But I just have to get it out. I keep a lot of what goes on inside. I don't even tell Nikki everything because I don't want to stress HER out.
I'm still working. But I currently hate my job. My boss goes between super bitch and gooey nice. So... I've become super professional. I'm nice, I smile. I just don't talk about personal stuff. Ever.
I need winter to be OVER. This lack of sunlight is killing me. I do get some on the way to work... but that's it. It's dark on the way home no matter what time I work. The vitamin D pills help for a while but not all day. Do you think it'll hurt to pop one when I start to feel things heading south?
I'm going to keep looking for another job. I'm not a salesman. Not at all. and I think my boss is going to fire me. I'm doing the best I can, I swear it. I just ... fail at selling. Too long of being poor I guess. And it's not my place to judge what someone can or can't afford but I'm ALWAYS trying to cut corners for people instead of trying to get them to give us more money. That makes me a really crappy employee.
It's discouraging to me. I won't quit. Any money is good money. I'm just afraid she'll fire me before I find something good. But... what if the grass is always greener on the other side? what if this is the beset I'll get? *head desk*
Have wifi now... loving it. can download tv shows now. Yay. Now if only I wasn't so bored watching tv. I chat, play games, surf and watch tv and am still bored.
Maybe that's why I suck at work. I'm bored. it's the same things usually.... but that's true of any job I guess.
EEK OMFG A SPIDER JUST LANDED NEXT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
.... I'm sitting here. staring at it.... typing blindly... wondering "where the hell is a tissue paper" or something to squish it. I know if I get up and go get TP it'll be gone. And then I'll be in bed all night thinking "where the hell did that spider go???"
ahem
Lets see.... I'm lonely. I miss having friends. I miss .... doing something other than go to work and come home. Honestly though? most days I don't even want to. I think I'm hitting a depression slide again. But at least I'm aware and can change it.
I don't know. I am just sad. It sounds stupid. It feels stupid. but it is.
Tomorrow is a new and better day. I demand it. I will make it so. I will leave work at 5pm feeling better about my job. I don't know how yet... but I'll figure something out.
Lets see.
I find I only blog when I'm depressed, things are desperate etc. it's not that I expect any of you to fix it. I don't. Be nice though ;)
But I just have to get it out. I keep a lot of what goes on inside. I don't even tell Nikki everything because I don't want to stress HER out.
I'm still working. But I currently hate my job. My boss goes between super bitch and gooey nice. So... I've become super professional. I'm nice, I smile. I just don't talk about personal stuff. Ever.
I need winter to be OVER. This lack of sunlight is killing me. I do get some on the way to work... but that's it. It's dark on the way home no matter what time I work. The vitamin D pills help for a while but not all day. Do you think it'll hurt to pop one when I start to feel things heading south?
I'm going to keep looking for another job. I'm not a salesman. Not at all. and I think my boss is going to fire me. I'm doing the best I can, I swear it. I just ... fail at selling. Too long of being poor I guess. And it's not my place to judge what someone can or can't afford but I'm ALWAYS trying to cut corners for people instead of trying to get them to give us more money. That makes me a really crappy employee.
It's discouraging to me. I won't quit. Any money is good money. I'm just afraid she'll fire me before I find something good. But... what if the grass is always greener on the other side? what if this is the beset I'll get? *head desk*
Have wifi now... loving it. can download tv shows now. Yay. Now if only I wasn't so bored watching tv. I chat, play games, surf and watch tv and am still bored.
Maybe that's why I suck at work. I'm bored. it's the same things usually.... but that's true of any job I guess.
EEK OMFG A SPIDER JUST LANDED NEXT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
.... I'm sitting here. staring at it.... typing blindly... wondering "where the hell is a tissue paper" or something to squish it. I know if I get up and go get TP it'll be gone. And then I'll be in bed all night thinking "where the hell did that spider go???"
ahem
Lets see.... I'm lonely. I miss having friends. I miss .... doing something other than go to work and come home. Honestly though? most days I don't even want to. I think I'm hitting a depression slide again. But at least I'm aware and can change it.
I don't know. I am just sad. It sounds stupid. It feels stupid. but it is.
Tomorrow is a new and better day. I demand it. I will make it so. I will leave work at 5pm feeling better about my job. I don't know how yet... but I'll figure something out.