手紙 (Tegami) Chapter Four: Pain
Guess what? I have only one more chapter left ;D
Title: 手紙 (Tegami)
Author: Mika
Pairing: Nakajima Yuto/OC
Rating: PG-13 (because of coarse language)
Genre: Angst
Summary: Nakajima Yuto never thought much about the fan letters he received. He was happy that there were so many fans that adored him, but sometimes.. It could be a pain to read through every single one. He was one day leafing through a new pile of letters, and he came across a plain white envelope that had his name on it. No decorations, no nothing. Intrigued, he picked it up and began to examine the contents. A simple one paged lined paper, included with a photograph of scenery. The letter was about a girl and her life. She treated the letter as some sort of Diary or Pen pal letter rather than a fan letter. He found himself interested in the letter. And she kept sending more, each with a new picture. She says she's a photographer. Each photo so real that he could almost feel the scenery around him. Yuto found himself striving to read the letters as she goes through hardships. Everything in her life goes wrong. He wants to comfort, he wants to help... but all he can do is read.
I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. Help me.
Her writing was jagged, almost unclear.
He grabbed me. I said no. I screamed and tried to run. But he grabbed me and hurt me. He hurt me and hurt me and hurt me. My body is abused. Violated. I don't know what to do anymore.
I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die
The paper in my hands was shaking. It slowly began to dampen from my tears. I couldn't do anything about it. The regret and hurt stabbed into my heart like a sharpened knife. I could have helped. I could have saved her from all that pain. But I didn't.
Mother isn't there to comfort me. I'm alone. I send these letters and I don't even know if you can hear my voice speaking to you. You're the only one who knows who I really am. What I'm really feeling.
Who am I kidding? There's no one on the other side of these letters. No one reading my stories. I'm alone.
The letter ended there. There was no picture included inside. Her signature missing at the bottom of the page.
I slammed my fist down on my desk with all the rage I could muster. Pain radiated through my knuckles and bloomed into my fingers. The tears continued to stream down my face. It hurt. I cradled my fist into my chest and let my head drop onto the desk in front of me. I let the silence pull me into a dreamless sleep.
---
Sweat dribbled down the faces of JUMP as they danced. It felt good to just dance and forget all worries.
“Yama-chan, you stepped on the wrong leg,” Ryutaro pointed out, “It's your right leg, not left.”
I turned away from them and scoffed a little.
“Okay, I've had enough,” Ryosuke growled, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”
“You've been so cynical lately,” Yuri tried lightly, “we're just worried for you.”
Keito turned and gave me a confused look, with a raised eyebrow.
I turned away. I didn't want to be ridiculed by his look.
“If there's something wrong, just tell us,” said Kota, “we're all friends here, aren't we?”
“You wouldn't understand,” I muttered.
“What?”
Something in me just snapped. All the rage that was built up inside just burst.
“What do you know about me?!” I screamed, “you have no idea what I'm going through!”
A chair stood in my way. I picked it up and threw it relentlessly to the floor. The sound radiated through the room as it hit the floor.
“You can't see what she's going through! You could never see it!” my words barely made sense to myself, “don't tell me what to do!”
I stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me.
Title: 手紙 (Tegami)
Author: Mika
Pairing: Nakajima Yuto/OC
Rating: PG-13 (because of coarse language)
Genre: Angst
Summary: Nakajima Yuto never thought much about the fan letters he received. He was happy that there were so many fans that adored him, but sometimes.. It could be a pain to read through every single one. He was one day leafing through a new pile of letters, and he came across a plain white envelope that had his name on it. No decorations, no nothing. Intrigued, he picked it up and began to examine the contents. A simple one paged lined paper, included with a photograph of scenery. The letter was about a girl and her life. She treated the letter as some sort of Diary or Pen pal letter rather than a fan letter. He found himself interested in the letter. And she kept sending more, each with a new picture. She says she's a photographer. Each photo so real that he could almost feel the scenery around him. Yuto found himself striving to read the letters as she goes through hardships. Everything in her life goes wrong. He wants to comfort, he wants to help... but all he can do is read.
I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. Help me.
Her writing was jagged, almost unclear.
He grabbed me. I said no. I screamed and tried to run. But he grabbed me and hurt me. He hurt me and hurt me and hurt me. My body is abused. Violated. I don't know what to do anymore.
I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die
The paper in my hands was shaking. It slowly began to dampen from my tears. I couldn't do anything about it. The regret and hurt stabbed into my heart like a sharpened knife. I could have helped. I could have saved her from all that pain. But I didn't.
Mother isn't there to comfort me. I'm alone. I send these letters and I don't even know if you can hear my voice speaking to you. You're the only one who knows who I really am. What I'm really feeling.
Who am I kidding? There's no one on the other side of these letters. No one reading my stories. I'm alone.
The letter ended there. There was no picture included inside. Her signature missing at the bottom of the page.
I slammed my fist down on my desk with all the rage I could muster. Pain radiated through my knuckles and bloomed into my fingers. The tears continued to stream down my face. It hurt. I cradled my fist into my chest and let my head drop onto the desk in front of me. I let the silence pull me into a dreamless sleep.
---
Sweat dribbled down the faces of JUMP as they danced. It felt good to just dance and forget all worries.
“Yama-chan, you stepped on the wrong leg,” Ryutaro pointed out, “It's your right leg, not left.”
I turned away from them and scoffed a little.
“Okay, I've had enough,” Ryosuke growled, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”
“You've been so cynical lately,” Yuri tried lightly, “we're just worried for you.”
Keito turned and gave me a confused look, with a raised eyebrow.
I turned away. I didn't want to be ridiculed by his look.
“If there's something wrong, just tell us,” said Kota, “we're all friends here, aren't we?”
“You wouldn't understand,” I muttered.
“What?”
Something in me just snapped. All the rage that was built up inside just burst.
“What do you know about me?!” I screamed, “you have no idea what I'm going through!”
A chair stood in my way. I picked it up and threw it relentlessly to the floor. The sound radiated through the room as it hit the floor.
“You can't see what she's going through! You could never see it!” my words barely made sense to myself, “don't tell me what to do!”
I stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me.