手紙 (Tegami) Chapter Three: Problem
Inspirational music works. : )
Title: 手紙 (Tegami)
Author: Mika
Pairing: Nakajima Yuto/OC
Rating: PG-13 (because of coarse language)
Genre: Angst
Summary: Nakajima Yuto never thought much about the fan letters he received. He was happy that there were so many fans that adored him, but sometimes.. It could be a pain to read through every single one. He was one day leafing through a new pile of letters, and he came across a plain white envelope that had his name on it. No decorations, no nothing. Intrigued, he picked it up and began to examine the contents. A simple one paged lined paper, included with a photograph of scenery. The letter was about a girl and her life. She treated the letter as some sort of Diary or Pen pal letter rather than a fan letter. He found himself interested in the letter. And she kept sending more, each with a new picture. She says she's a photographer. Each photo so real that he could almost feel the scenery around him. Yuto found himself striving to read the letters as she goes through hardships. Everything in her life goes wrong. He wants to comfort, he wants to help... but all he can do is read.
Another cold day. Frost began to form upon our rooftops and the concrete floors. The morning dew would freeze over and our breaths would come out in puffs of white.
I shoved my hands deeper into the fabric of my pockets and continued to walk down the crowded streets of Shibuya. I was running an errand for my mother to buy some groceries. I sighed, the once warm air turning into a steady stream of white escaping my lips. It was cold. Shivering, I quickened my pace, hoping the exercise would warm me up a little more.
It had been almost a month ever since her first letter arrived to me. Time seemed to tick longer than reality. For reasons unknown, I couldn't get her off my mind. Her letters became worse and worse.
'How is she doing now?' I thought. I thanked the sales lady for the groceries and set back the way I came.
It was wrong. I couldn't keep thinking things like this. But she needed help. She had mentioned in her latest letter that her mother hit her. That was child abuse. I want to help. But I can't.
I sat heavily onto a park bench and leaned back in my seat. No doubt this was unhealthy. It was like I was obsessing over a girl which I haven't even seen in person. I closed my eyes, the back of my head rested against the cold of the bench.
She lived somewhere in Tokyo. That's all I knew about her. She'd never talk much about her whereabouts. Not that I was trying to stalk her or anything, but curious. But even if I did know, I still wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I gritted my teeth at the thought. It was killing me; this feeling in my chest. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to help her.
Fucking hell.
God damned fucking hell.
I dropped my head into my hands in distress. What the hell was I thinking? I shouldn't have ever opened that letter.
---
The dressing room was empty. I collapsed onto the couch and lay there, with my eyes closed. What an exhausting day.
“Yuto-kun.”
I jumped at the sound of another person's voice. I sat up and peered up at them.
“You're so much more jumpy lately,” Ryosuke commented as he sat down next to me, “mind telling me what's going on?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, a smile finding it's way onto my face, “I've never felt better.”
“Don't lie to me,” he replied, almost in a whisper, “stop lying to me.”
My smile disappeared.
“You don't seem to be feeling well. You've been more irritable, more tired, forgetful,” he said, “it's like you're afraid of something. Everyone is worried about you, you know.”
I didn't know what to say. It was true; I had been more aggravated. But I couldn't help it. Sometimes, I just couldn't control my anger like I used to.
“This has been happening ever since you got that letter.”
That struck a chord in my mind. I gaped in surprise.
“What letter?” I tried to cover.
“Stop lying to me!” Ryosuke cried, “I'm tired of it! Aren't I your best friend? I know because I saw you reading it. Don't try to hide it from me!”
Again, I was lost for words. There was nothing I could say.
“You keep getting letters from someone. Who is it from?” he pressed, “I know I saw you got one today from practice. At least let me see it.”
He then stood and reached for my bag. A million thoughts shot through my mind at that moment.
I want to protect her.
I can't let him see it.
It would make me vulnerable.
I want to keep her from being seen.
I can't let him see it.
I lunged at him, and we both hit the floor with a thud.
“No,” I cried, “I won't let you see it!”
“It's just a fucking letter!” Ryosuke yelled back, “what's your deal!?”
“I can't let you!” I cried out, “I can't!”
He tried to stand and reach for my bag once again. I shoved him back, harder than I wanted to. He stumbled into the couch with a growl.
Then time seemed to pass in slow motion. I saw him swing his fist at my face, but I didn't move. I let him punch me.
Then I turned around and punched him back. He dove into me and threw us both onto the floor again, punching and kicking each other. We screamed profanities and scratched at each other.
“GUYS, GET A GRIP!” Kota pulled us roughly apart. We glared at each other, sweat beading on our faces. Other members of JUMP quickly rushed in to see what was going on, utter surprise flourished their faces.
“What is wrong with you two?” he yelled angrily, “I don't ever want to see you two doing this again. Am I clear?”
Still at a glaring stand still, we both nodded. Slowly, everyone filed out.
“Come on. We need to go to practice,” Yuri called.
Ryosuke pushed through first and left the room without looking back. I stood there, for a second, in the empty dressing room. The sudden silence was slowly engulfing me.
I turned on my heel and stepped out of the room.
Title: 手紙 (Tegami)
Author: Mika
Pairing: Nakajima Yuto/OC
Rating: PG-13 (because of coarse language)
Genre: Angst
Summary: Nakajima Yuto never thought much about the fan letters he received. He was happy that there were so many fans that adored him, but sometimes.. It could be a pain to read through every single one. He was one day leafing through a new pile of letters, and he came across a plain white envelope that had his name on it. No decorations, no nothing. Intrigued, he picked it up and began to examine the contents. A simple one paged lined paper, included with a photograph of scenery. The letter was about a girl and her life. She treated the letter as some sort of Diary or Pen pal letter rather than a fan letter. He found himself interested in the letter. And she kept sending more, each with a new picture. She says she's a photographer. Each photo so real that he could almost feel the scenery around him. Yuto found himself striving to read the letters as she goes through hardships. Everything in her life goes wrong. He wants to comfort, he wants to help... but all he can do is read.
Another cold day. Frost began to form upon our rooftops and the concrete floors. The morning dew would freeze over and our breaths would come out in puffs of white.
I shoved my hands deeper into the fabric of my pockets and continued to walk down the crowded streets of Shibuya. I was running an errand for my mother to buy some groceries. I sighed, the once warm air turning into a steady stream of white escaping my lips. It was cold. Shivering, I quickened my pace, hoping the exercise would warm me up a little more.
It had been almost a month ever since her first letter arrived to me. Time seemed to tick longer than reality. For reasons unknown, I couldn't get her off my mind. Her letters became worse and worse.
'How is she doing now?' I thought. I thanked the sales lady for the groceries and set back the way I came.
It was wrong. I couldn't keep thinking things like this. But she needed help. She had mentioned in her latest letter that her mother hit her. That was child abuse. I want to help. But I can't.
I sat heavily onto a park bench and leaned back in my seat. No doubt this was unhealthy. It was like I was obsessing over a girl which I haven't even seen in person. I closed my eyes, the back of my head rested against the cold of the bench.
She lived somewhere in Tokyo. That's all I knew about her. She'd never talk much about her whereabouts. Not that I was trying to stalk her or anything, but curious. But even if I did know, I still wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I gritted my teeth at the thought. It was killing me; this feeling in my chest. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to help her.
Fucking hell.
God damned fucking hell.
I dropped my head into my hands in distress. What the hell was I thinking? I shouldn't have ever opened that letter.
---
The dressing room was empty. I collapsed onto the couch and lay there, with my eyes closed. What an exhausting day.
“Yuto-kun.”
I jumped at the sound of another person's voice. I sat up and peered up at them.
“You're so much more jumpy lately,” Ryosuke commented as he sat down next to me, “mind telling me what's going on?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, a smile finding it's way onto my face, “I've never felt better.”
“Don't lie to me,” he replied, almost in a whisper, “stop lying to me.”
My smile disappeared.
“You don't seem to be feeling well. You've been more irritable, more tired, forgetful,” he said, “it's like you're afraid of something. Everyone is worried about you, you know.”
I didn't know what to say. It was true; I had been more aggravated. But I couldn't help it. Sometimes, I just couldn't control my anger like I used to.
“This has been happening ever since you got that letter.”
That struck a chord in my mind. I gaped in surprise.
“What letter?” I tried to cover.
“Stop lying to me!” Ryosuke cried, “I'm tired of it! Aren't I your best friend? I know because I saw you reading it. Don't try to hide it from me!”
Again, I was lost for words. There was nothing I could say.
“You keep getting letters from someone. Who is it from?” he pressed, “I know I saw you got one today from practice. At least let me see it.”
He then stood and reached for my bag. A million thoughts shot through my mind at that moment.
I want to protect her.
I can't let him see it.
It would make me vulnerable.
I want to keep her from being seen.
I can't let him see it.
I lunged at him, and we both hit the floor with a thud.
“No,” I cried, “I won't let you see it!”
“It's just a fucking letter!” Ryosuke yelled back, “what's your deal!?”
“I can't let you!” I cried out, “I can't!”
He tried to stand and reach for my bag once again. I shoved him back, harder than I wanted to. He stumbled into the couch with a growl.
Then time seemed to pass in slow motion. I saw him swing his fist at my face, but I didn't move. I let him punch me.
Then I turned around and punched him back. He dove into me and threw us both onto the floor again, punching and kicking each other. We screamed profanities and scratched at each other.
“GUYS, GET A GRIP!” Kota pulled us roughly apart. We glared at each other, sweat beading on our faces. Other members of JUMP quickly rushed in to see what was going on, utter surprise flourished their faces.
“What is wrong with you two?” he yelled angrily, “I don't ever want to see you two doing this again. Am I clear?”
Still at a glaring stand still, we both nodded. Slowly, everyone filed out.
“Come on. We need to go to practice,” Yuri called.
Ryosuke pushed through first and left the room without looking back. I stood there, for a second, in the empty dressing room. The sudden silence was slowly engulfing me.
I turned on my heel and stepped out of the room.