(no subject)
i had to tell randi everything today and it was so hard.i wanted to get away from it all this weekend so i was sposed to go to nh to see carlene but mom is being such an asshole. shes fucking totally drunk and embarrassed me in front of amanda and lauren. wtf is the matter with her. wow she is just making things worse for me.i dont want to be here and its pissing me off that i have to stay here. well if i have to be here with her then im going to be a total asshole and fuck her.I hate it when your having the worst day even and you go home to find things are worse than before and there is nowhere you can go to get away .the weed and the alchohol and the meds dont work so what the fuck do i do now? i dont wanna cut myself cuz its bad... but things suck so much ass lately i can't function right, i cant remember anything at all now . ok im done with all this bullshit. god i wish my mom would just dissappear.and great here come the crackheads. what a pleasant evening this has turned out to be.haha and the psycho child is having a spazzy now.i just love days like these.at least i kno tommorrow couldnt be worse cuz thelmer is going to have a hang-over and frankie will be spending the day with his newly found family upstaris and dave will be at work and im gonna be an asshole im going to stay in my room all day and read and fuck everyone. no its gonna be my own day and noone is allowed in my room. yeah thats right biatches fuck that .im staying alone tommorrow.ill need the quiet to think.now all i need to do is find my teddy because to top this wonderful evening off my teddy is M.I.A.... ttyl