god ~ u've caught my attention
in my spare time wen i have nuthin to do i like to think. i always think about my friends. i've realized that alot of ppl im friends w/need some kind of help. in one way or another. but who doesn't these days? im always there to help a friend. i think its wut i was put on this earth to do. this is why i am writing this.
this weekend mom was outa town. so me n ash had decided she was going to stay the whole weekend. she ended up stayin friday but not sat. so sat mornin i woke up hungry for sum gravy n biscuits. so i asked her to get ready n i'd pick her up n we could go to IHOP. so i got ready n went to pick her up. we ate then went to the mall then came bak home. *flashbak* friday ppl were ova n we smoked in my car. they left two joint roaches in my ashtray. *flashbak done* so me n ash decided we wanted to smoke. so she got the foil n made a bowl. we perfected it then headed out to the car. we took the joints apart n filled a bowl. we ended up smokin 4 or 5 bowls dont remember. then we decided we wanted sum pills. so i called chad. he wasn't home so i talked to noah. he was to fucked up so i talked to his friend. he said he would if i picked him up. so i drove ova there. he got in the car n we went to walgreens. he went in n couldnt find em so me n ash had to go in. we told him where to get em then i picked up a bag of chocolate eggs to eat. we left the store n went bak to noahs house. me n ash went in n sat on the couch. where we found a can of duster on the table. we asked if we could do it n they said yes. so we did. then noah n his friend had to leave. so me n ash sat in the driveway. im guessin this is where we decided to go to chenga. then we got there. i duno how cuz i dont remember. we saw pat n went into his car. this is where me n ash took the pills. we took a whole pack. i took 6 n ash took 10. then we smoked w/pat. im not exactly sure how much but i heard it was alot from kt. then she said we might have smoked w/blake too. ne ways then i went into chenga. i dont really remember much besides seein scooter n jeff. i dont remember leavin. then the next thing i remember was bein at my house. i guess made mac n cheese n i ate alot. dont remember that. then we both layed down. my bro got home n i saw him n my dad then passed bak out. bro woke me up at 6:40 sayin we had to leave. then i remember bein in the bathroom sittin on the floor. ash kept tellin me i had to get up n drive but i couldnt. i guess i called rodger n told him i couldnt drive n he told me to find someone to pick her up. so ash called kt n said i couldn't drive. so she came n picked us up. i guess i kept tellin her to take 480 n go the speed limit. we got there n they tried to get me to go into the airport but i couldnt. so me n ash sat in the car. waited for my mom. all i can remember in the car is sayin i feel like im dyin ash. i really thought i was dyin. i kept passin out n my life was flashin before my eyes. i swear i was either dyin or died possibly for a lil bit. my heart gets fucked up wen i smoke. but ne ways. i can jus see ashleys face from last nite. she looked at me. n it was the first time i could see sumthin straight. she looked so innocent. so beautiful. diff than ive eva seen her b4. she glew! i kept thinkin in my head help me. but the only words that came out were "ashley i think im dyin". ive neva felt so bad in my life. i hate that. i hope i never feel that again.
so bak to the point of me writing this. i want everyone to kno....dont mix drugs. dont do drugs. they're bad. i think this was my wake up call. i want people to kno that duster n triple cs r bad. very bad. they mess up ur brain. i dont want ne one to feel wut i felt. ive wanted to die plenty of times. but wen it came to it last nite. it was the last thing i wanted. i didnt wana die feeling like that. or mayb i did cuz it was really that bad. all i kno is i deff never wana feel that again. i hope no one does. i want to stop wut im doin. but i cant. im going to try but i cant say im going to stop. i do it for a thrill. i need help to stop. but let this b a lesson. dont start doing drugs. they put u in positions u dont wana b in. they really fuck u up in the end. not in a good way either. so please for me. dont do this to yourself. i promise you. you dont wana feel like i did last nite. ever. so heres my chance to help alot of people. i hope some people listen to me. n if u've already started these things. stop. try and stop wen u can. because its fun for a lil. then wen this happens u'll never want to again. but once ur addicted u cant stop. theres no way out. so save yourself now. save yourself for me!
this weekend mom was outa town. so me n ash had decided she was going to stay the whole weekend. she ended up stayin friday but not sat. so sat mornin i woke up hungry for sum gravy n biscuits. so i asked her to get ready n i'd pick her up n we could go to IHOP. so i got ready n went to pick her up. we ate then went to the mall then came bak home. *flashbak* friday ppl were ova n we smoked in my car. they left two joint roaches in my ashtray. *flashbak done* so me n ash decided we wanted to smoke. so she got the foil n made a bowl. we perfected it then headed out to the car. we took the joints apart n filled a bowl. we ended up smokin 4 or 5 bowls dont remember. then we decided we wanted sum pills. so i called chad. he wasn't home so i talked to noah. he was to fucked up so i talked to his friend. he said he would if i picked him up. so i drove ova there. he got in the car n we went to walgreens. he went in n couldnt find em so me n ash had to go in. we told him where to get em then i picked up a bag of chocolate eggs to eat. we left the store n went bak to noahs house. me n ash went in n sat on the couch. where we found a can of duster on the table. we asked if we could do it n they said yes. so we did. then noah n his friend had to leave. so me n ash sat in the driveway. im guessin this is where we decided to go to chenga. then we got there. i duno how cuz i dont remember. we saw pat n went into his car. this is where me n ash took the pills. we took a whole pack. i took 6 n ash took 10. then we smoked w/pat. im not exactly sure how much but i heard it was alot from kt. then she said we might have smoked w/blake too. ne ways then i went into chenga. i dont really remember much besides seein scooter n jeff. i dont remember leavin. then the next thing i remember was bein at my house. i guess made mac n cheese n i ate alot. dont remember that. then we both layed down. my bro got home n i saw him n my dad then passed bak out. bro woke me up at 6:40 sayin we had to leave. then i remember bein in the bathroom sittin on the floor. ash kept tellin me i had to get up n drive but i couldnt. i guess i called rodger n told him i couldnt drive n he told me to find someone to pick her up. so ash called kt n said i couldn't drive. so she came n picked us up. i guess i kept tellin her to take 480 n go the speed limit. we got there n they tried to get me to go into the airport but i couldnt. so me n ash sat in the car. waited for my mom. all i can remember in the car is sayin i feel like im dyin ash. i really thought i was dyin. i kept passin out n my life was flashin before my eyes. i swear i was either dyin or died possibly for a lil bit. my heart gets fucked up wen i smoke. but ne ways. i can jus see ashleys face from last nite. she looked at me. n it was the first time i could see sumthin straight. she looked so innocent. so beautiful. diff than ive eva seen her b4. she glew! i kept thinkin in my head help me. but the only words that came out were "ashley i think im dyin". ive neva felt so bad in my life. i hate that. i hope i never feel that again.
so bak to the point of me writing this. i want everyone to kno....dont mix drugs. dont do drugs. they're bad. i think this was my wake up call. i want people to kno that duster n triple cs r bad. very bad. they mess up ur brain. i dont want ne one to feel wut i felt. ive wanted to die plenty of times. but wen it came to it last nite. it was the last thing i wanted. i didnt wana die feeling like that. or mayb i did cuz it was really that bad. all i kno is i deff never wana feel that again. i hope no one does. i want to stop wut im doin. but i cant. im going to try but i cant say im going to stop. i do it for a thrill. i need help to stop. but let this b a lesson. dont start doing drugs. they put u in positions u dont wana b in. they really fuck u up in the end. not in a good way either. so please for me. dont do this to yourself. i promise you. you dont wana feel like i did last nite. ever. so heres my chance to help alot of people. i hope some people listen to me. n if u've already started these things. stop. try and stop wen u can. because its fun for a lil. then wen this happens u'll never want to again. but once ur addicted u cant stop. theres no way out. so save yourself now. save yourself for me!