(no subject)
it's been a while.
so things have been different. everything with brandon has been really crappy and i don't even know where it's going at all. i want so badly for us to be okay, and to be the way we were before. but now it's all mind games and i've cried over him way more times than i've been happy with him.
well i have met a lot of new friends, if you can even call them that. more like guys who are obsessed with me and buy me things like crazy. i haven't given them any kind of idea that i like them, and yet they take me to the mall and no lie.. say "get whatever you want" this week i have been taken to victorias secret twice by two different guys with no intention on showing either of them what they bought. they take me out for dinner, and one even bought me six months of tanning and goes with me!
speaking of which, this weight is falling off. i'm not really trying at all, but i know i'm barely eating. i'm never hungry. i can't explain it, but i'm right back to the anxiety around food. unless i'm being taken out by one of my new friends because i know they like me so i just eat whatever i want in front of them. it's really quite perfect actually. and my hair is growing really quick too. i've been smoking like a fucking maniac, but not pot. i feel better about myself lately. but like i said shit with my boyfriend is awful. tomorrow after work i'm not even going to call him and he can see how it feels. actually, i'm not even going to talk to him tomorrow because he's such a little dickhead and i got invited to go to this amusement park by one of my new friends haha.
so things have been different. everything with brandon has been really crappy and i don't even know where it's going at all. i want so badly for us to be okay, and to be the way we were before. but now it's all mind games and i've cried over him way more times than i've been happy with him.
well i have met a lot of new friends, if you can even call them that. more like guys who are obsessed with me and buy me things like crazy. i haven't given them any kind of idea that i like them, and yet they take me to the mall and no lie.. say "get whatever you want" this week i have been taken to victorias secret twice by two different guys with no intention on showing either of them what they bought. they take me out for dinner, and one even bought me six months of tanning and goes with me!
speaking of which, this weight is falling off. i'm not really trying at all, but i know i'm barely eating. i'm never hungry. i can't explain it, but i'm right back to the anxiety around food. unless i'm being taken out by one of my new friends because i know they like me so i just eat whatever i want in front of them. it's really quite perfect actually. and my hair is growing really quick too. i've been smoking like a fucking maniac, but not pot. i feel better about myself lately. but like i said shit with my boyfriend is awful. tomorrow after work i'm not even going to call him and he can see how it feels. actually, i'm not even going to talk to him tomorrow because he's such a little dickhead and i got invited to go to this amusement park by one of my new friends haha.