blog2 from ohio
im sick of people filling my head up with pretty words.
I feel like ive been through hell and back. When i take one step forward i get thrown two step backs. Its like im stuck, its hard for me to move ahead. i promised myself i would never look back, and i havnt untill i seem to fall over so many "blocks" that break me down. Ive hit rock bottom once, and pulled myself this far and its like things keeping fucking up for me.
I ask people to be real and not to mess with my feelings. i have been fucked over so many times, i dont know if i can take anymore. Not only from men, but from my parents, friends, and others.Ive tried playing "the nice girl", ive tried playing the "badass", ive tried playing and faking everything you could. and i still get fucked. I changed ...and packed my shit and left the mess and all i know how to be is myself now. If people dont like it, they get a big fuck you. but even being yourself sometimes doesnt work. as high as i hold my head, and as bright as the smile i paint on everyday... i still have feelings, and i still hurt. I sound cocky, because i have confidence and believe in myself, because all you have in life in the end is yourself. i have learned it the hard way.
He did me wrong. When i ask someone to be honest, and your not, thats wrong. When you tell me there is nothing, and theres something, you lied. When you stick your dick in me, and then her the next night, theres still feelings. When you cant ADMIT things arent going to work, your not being honest. When you hurt someone when they begged you not to, your wrong. When the only thing they tried to do was help you and understand you , and treat you like you deserved and you lie....your wrong.Call me crazy, tell him he can do better.....thats fine. But if you call me crazy because i demand an explantion out of respect for myself, then fuck you. If you have anything to say about anything, fuck you. He said the words to me, and kissed me, and held my hand.. not yours. fuck you. when you do and say the things he did and not follow through... then your scared of change.
with all that being said... if your not real, please please dont even look at me.
I feel like ive been through hell and back. When i take one step forward i get thrown two step backs. Its like im stuck, its hard for me to move ahead. i promised myself i would never look back, and i havnt untill i seem to fall over so many "blocks" that break me down. Ive hit rock bottom once, and pulled myself this far and its like things keeping fucking up for me.
I ask people to be real and not to mess with my feelings. i have been fucked over so many times, i dont know if i can take anymore. Not only from men, but from my parents, friends, and others.Ive tried playing "the nice girl", ive tried playing the "badass", ive tried playing and faking everything you could. and i still get fucked. I changed ...and packed my shit and left the mess and all i know how to be is myself now. If people dont like it, they get a big fuck you. but even being yourself sometimes doesnt work. as high as i hold my head, and as bright as the smile i paint on everyday... i still have feelings, and i still hurt. I sound cocky, because i have confidence and believe in myself, because all you have in life in the end is yourself. i have learned it the hard way.
He did me wrong. When i ask someone to be honest, and your not, thats wrong. When you tell me there is nothing, and theres something, you lied. When you stick your dick in me, and then her the next night, theres still feelings. When you cant ADMIT things arent going to work, your not being honest. When you hurt someone when they begged you not to, your wrong. When the only thing they tried to do was help you and understand you , and treat you like you deserved and you lie....your wrong.Call me crazy, tell him he can do better.....thats fine. But if you call me crazy because i demand an explantion out of respect for myself, then fuck you. If you have anything to say about anything, fuck you. He said the words to me, and kissed me, and held my hand.. not yours. fuck you. when you do and say the things he did and not follow through... then your scared of change.
with all that being said... if your not real, please please dont even look at me.