Fic: Coming Home 60/?
Author: PABWECG (aka Patricia)
Title: Coming Home
Genre/Type: Romance
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid, Luke/Noah, Lily/Holden, Casey, Katie, Bob, assorted little people, possibly others
Warnings: None really, except some Nuke intimacy
Summary: Luke and Noah moved to L.A. in the Summer of 2009 for Noah to do his last year of school with an internship of sorts (no Mason, no blindness, etc. Everything else in their history has happened). Reid arrived, temporarily, at Memorial in August 2010.
Previous Chapters: 1/ 2/ 3/ 4/ 5/ 6/ 7/ 8/ 9/ 10/ 11/ 12/ 13/ 14/ 15/ 16/ 17/ 18/ 19/ 20/ 21/ 22/ 23/ 24/ 25/ 26/ 27/ 28/ 29/ 30/ 31/ 32/ 33/ 34/ 35/ 36/ 37/ 38/ 39/ 40/ 41/ 42/ 43/ 44/ 45/ 46/ 47/ 48/ 49/ 50/ 51/ 52/ 53/ 54/ 55/ 56/ 57/ 58/ 59/
Thank you Slayerkitty for being my beta!!!
Ch 60
Luke finished the last of his sandwich before resuming his work. This particular novel was really starting to kick off; he'd begun two others that had seemed to have a difficult time getting going, but this one had an energy about. The characters felt real, especially one in particular, but even the others were starting to come to life and speak to him.
He picked up his glass and found his cherry-cola gone. He jotted down another sentence and got up to fill his glass with water. Stretching his back at the counter, he noticed the time. "Oh my God," he exclaimed. "Noah and Sammy are going to be here any minute."
He decided that this was a fairly good stopping point, so he closed his notebook, and opened his laptop. He quickly found the now-familiar writers' retreat website, and scrolled down to the one he was pretty sure he'd choose. It was scheduled to begin in three-weeks' time. A two-week retreat in Bar harbor - he smiled. It would be chilly still in Mid-May, on the coast of Maine, he'd discovered; quite chilly, possibly below freezing. Still, he smiled. Two weeks to just write, to be with other writers - he was actually doing this; he felt giddy thinking about it.
He smiled again, feeling a warmth come over him, remembering Christmas Eve, Reid giving him this gift - Reid's faith in him, his support and encouragement...letting Luke know that it was okay - more than okay - to take time to do the things that mattered to him.
"Yup," he said allowed. "That's the right retreat." He nodded to himself. "And now's the right time...I think," he added. He wondered about Sammy. How would she take it? He knew she was Noah's legal responsibility, but the little girl had grown particularly attached to him while his ex was MIA.
A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts; closing his laptop, he rose to answer it. He opened the door and let Noah - Sammy in his arms - into the house. "Hi there," he said to the two of them. "How'd it go last night?"
Noah turned around to face him and shrugged with a smile. "It went alright."
"Good," Luke responded. It had been Noah's first whole night with their daughter since back in February, when Noah had first been granted custody of the child. Little Samantha had grown quite close to Luke and Reid in the last two months. "Good," he repeated. "I'm glad."
Sammy began to whine and squirm, reaching out for Luke.
"Not that she didn't miss you, though," Noah said with a small smile.
Luke took her in his arms. "Hi, Sweetheart. I missed you, too," he said. "Not that it wasn't nice to have some time alone with Reid," he continued. Looking over his shoulder, he added, "Thank you for that, by the way."
Noah appeared a bit uncomfortable, but nodded. "Sure," he said. "She is my daughter, after all." After a moment's silence, he went on. "She did cry some, but after a while she calmed down, and..."
"And what?" Luke Asked, carrying her over to sit on the floor with him.
Noah followed them. "Well, it was like she wanted you, but after a while she realized it was okay. Does that make sense?"
Luke thought about and nodded. "Yeah, it does." He smiled at his ex and went on. "She's been spending more time with you these last couple weeks, and learning to trust you."
Noah was quiet for a minute, and Luke could tell that Noah was obviously thinking about something, but he didn't ask what it was, and instead simply focused on Sammy.
"Luke?" Noah asked.
"Hmm?" Luke answered.
"How would you feel about..." he began, and then hesitated.
Luke wondered where this was going. "About what?" he asked.
"About being Sammy's father," Noah finished his question. "Her legal father," he clarified.
Luke looked at Noah, not much surprised by the question. "Do you not want to be her father, Noah?"
Noah opened his mouth and closed it again, seeming unsure of what to say. Luke resisted the urge to talk for Noah. His ex needed to figure out whether he was going to parent this little girl or not.
Noah saw that Luke was waiting for answer. "I'm terrified," he said. "A part of me wants to do this - but I am scared, so scared I'll turn out like my dad in the parenting department."
Luke understood Noah's fears; but he also needed to know if Noah would step up and do what needed doing where Sammy was concerned. "What would you have done, Noah, if your cousin had named only you as Sammy's guardian? Or what would you have done if I wasn't around?" he asked.
"You mean if you had died?" Noah asked. "Don't say that, Luke."
"Just answer me, Noah." Luke said.
Noah's brow furrowed and he thought about it. "I don't think I would have kept her," he finally said.
"You would have put her in the foster care system?" Luke asked.
"Honestly, Luke," Noah began. "The only reason I accepted her was because I was so sure that once you knew she was ours, you would..." he left the rest unsaid.
"I would take you back," Luke finished.
"Look, I was obviously wrong," Noah said. "But that's how I saw things in February. Now, though..." he again hesitated.
"Now?" Luke questioned.
"Now, if you weren't here - in her life," Noah began.
"Would you walk away from her?" Luke interjected.
Noah exhaled and shook his head. "No, I wouldn't," he said. "But Luke, that's irrelevant."
"How?" asked Luke.
"Because you are here. She has a father, Luke, and it's not me," Noah stated emphatically. "She's starting to trust me, but she doesn't love me."
"She will, in time Noah," Luke said.
"Will she?" Noah asked. "Or will I always just be the babysitter?"
"You wouldn't be if you raised her on your own, became her father in every sense of the word," Luke said. "I could step out of the picture altogether."
"That's not what you want, Luke," Noah said. "You love her - I can see that."
"I do," Luke agreed. "But that's not what's important."
"It's not?" Noah asked.
"Noah, she needs a family," Luke said. "She needs to know who her parents are - whether that's me, or you, or both of us. And so, we need to decide. Will you keep legal guardianship - and in that case, I'll back away - or will you give her to me...or will we figure out a way to do this together?"
"I don't think my doing this alone is a good idea, Luke; like I said, she doesn't really trust me. I'd still like you to consider my question - will you become her legal father?"
Luke sighed, his arms going around Samantha as she snuggled up in his lap.
"Just think about it, okay Luke?" Noah asked.
Luke silently nodded, then asked, "You'd just...give her up...walk away...not be involved at all?"
"I don't now, Luke," he answered. "I honestly don't know. I want to spend more time with her - getting to know her, letting her get to know me - I never really considered becoming a father except when you and I were together...and I think I always pictured you as the more hands-on parent."
"I wouldn't hate it, you're right," Luke said, referring to being Sammy's sole guardian. "I just don't...well, I just don't want you to walk away from this...from this relationship with her, just because I am...well, I'm more naturally nurturing?"
Noah looked at him sagely.
"You have a lot to offer her, Noah," Luke said. "As her father.
They both agreed to think about it and Noah left for his place.
That Evening...
"And this comes as a surprise to you why?" Reid asked.
Luke turned in his spot on the couch, and made brief eye-contact with Reid before pulling Reid's arm more closely around his shoulder and snuggling up next to him again. The lights were low and they were facing the big window, looking out at the evening sky.
"No, it doesn't surprise me," Luke said. "Noah is the master of walking away."
Reid lifted his hand and rested at the beck of Luke's neck, ran it over his short blond hair.
"I just..." Luke began again. "I don't know, I hoped this would be different, you know? She's his daughter."
Reid sighed and nodded...and hummed.
"What?" Luke asked, turning in Reid's arms to look at him.
"Hmm?" Reid said. "Well no, I was just thinking, if Noah did sign over Sammy's custody to you..." he nodded again, seeming to perk up.
Reid was actually beginning to smile.
"Yes? If he did?" Luke asked. "What?"
"Well, it would be you, and me, and Sammy..." he said, grinning. "Noah wouldn't have any reason to be around."
"Reid," Luke scolded, playfully slapping his thigh.
"What?" Reid asked, mock-offended. "I mean around us."
Luke laughed. "That's true."
Reid was silent.
Luke looked at him.
"And I'd like that," Reid said.
"Me too," Luke said. "I have to admit."
"You've got nothing to feel bad about, not wanting that selfish jackass around," Reid said.
"I do feel bad, sort of," Luke said. "But it would be nice not having him here all the time, trying to be my friend, trying to be more than that."
Reid gave him a look that clearly showed how he felt about Noah's attempts to get closer to Luke - he wasn't jealous or threatened, but he hated it. It annoyed and angered him, because of the long history of Noah hurting Luke, over and over. He wanted Noah out of Luke's life. He loved Sammy, but hated the way she tied Luke to Noah.
"I think he's starting to get it," Luke said.
"Get what?" Reid asked. "Who? Noah?"
"Yeah," Luke answered. "I think he's starting to get it, that he and I are never going to get back together again."
Reid looked doubtful.
"I know," Luke said. "But today...and the other night...he seemed different, less eager, more subdued...like it finally sunk in...I don't know exactly, just something seemed more...well, less fake-sweet, the way he gets when he's trying to win me over."
Reid gave him another look. "No comment."
"I know, you don't need to hear me talk about Noah, and I'd love to not talk about him," Luke said. "I'm just saying, if we have to deal with him - as parents - I think it might be a little less awful than we thought."
"Oh! Well, that just makes my day," Reid said, dripping with sarcasm.
"Alright, alright," Luke said, slapping his thigh again. And then he laughed, and Reid pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head.
They sat quietly together, simply enjoying the feeling of their arms around each other, Luke's back against Reid's chest, their hearts beating together. Their life together.
"So, did you make your decision?" Reid asked. He was looking at Luke's open laptop on the coffee table.
Luke smiled. "Yeah, I think I did." He sat up and picked up his computer, placing it on his lap. Moving the mouse, the screen came to life again, and he turned it so Reid could see it more clearly. "Do you think those weeks will work? Is two weeks too long? Maybe I should do just the one..."
"Is this your first choice?" Reid asked.
Luke nodded, feeling giddy again.
"Have you talked to your folks? Are they able to help out?"
"Yeah," Luke answered. "They're so excited about more time with her."
"Well, I say go for it."
"Yeah?" Luke asked, smiling at Reid.
Reid kissed him. "Oh yeah. The way your eyes light up." Reid kissed Luke again. "I love seeing you this happy."
Luke pulled him in for another kiss. "Thank you," he said.
"For what?" Reid asked.
"For lots," Luke answered. "For the Christmas gift, for your encouragement...for being you," he said. "For loving me."
"Well, that's easy," Reid said with confidence, pulling Luke on top of him for another kiss.
next part/
Title: Coming Home
Genre/Type: Romance
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid, Luke/Noah, Lily/Holden, Casey, Katie, Bob, assorted little people, possibly others
Warnings: None really, except some Nuke intimacy
Summary: Luke and Noah moved to L.A. in the Summer of 2009 for Noah to do his last year of school with an internship of sorts (no Mason, no blindness, etc. Everything else in their history has happened). Reid arrived, temporarily, at Memorial in August 2010.
Previous Chapters: 1/ 2/ 3/ 4/ 5/ 6/ 7/ 8/ 9/ 10/ 11/ 12/ 13/ 14/ 15/ 16/ 17/ 18/ 19/ 20/ 21/ 22/ 23/ 24/ 25/ 26/ 27/ 28/ 29/ 30/ 31/ 32/ 33/ 34/ 35/ 36/ 37/ 38/ 39/ 40/ 41/ 42/ 43/ 44/ 45/ 46/ 47/ 48/ 49/ 50/ 51/ 52/ 53/ 54/ 55/ 56/ 57/ 58/ 59/
Thank you Slayerkitty for being my beta!!!
Ch 60
Luke finished the last of his sandwich before resuming his work. This particular novel was really starting to kick off; he'd begun two others that had seemed to have a difficult time getting going, but this one had an energy about. The characters felt real, especially one in particular, but even the others were starting to come to life and speak to him.
He picked up his glass and found his cherry-cola gone. He jotted down another sentence and got up to fill his glass with water. Stretching his back at the counter, he noticed the time. "Oh my God," he exclaimed. "Noah and Sammy are going to be here any minute."
He decided that this was a fairly good stopping point, so he closed his notebook, and opened his laptop. He quickly found the now-familiar writers' retreat website, and scrolled down to the one he was pretty sure he'd choose. It was scheduled to begin in three-weeks' time. A two-week retreat in Bar harbor - he smiled. It would be chilly still in Mid-May, on the coast of Maine, he'd discovered; quite chilly, possibly below freezing. Still, he smiled. Two weeks to just write, to be with other writers - he was actually doing this; he felt giddy thinking about it.
He smiled again, feeling a warmth come over him, remembering Christmas Eve, Reid giving him this gift - Reid's faith in him, his support and encouragement...letting Luke know that it was okay - more than okay - to take time to do the things that mattered to him.
"Yup," he said allowed. "That's the right retreat." He nodded to himself. "And now's the right time...I think," he added. He wondered about Sammy. How would she take it? He knew she was Noah's legal responsibility, but the little girl had grown particularly attached to him while his ex was MIA.
A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts; closing his laptop, he rose to answer it. He opened the door and let Noah - Sammy in his arms - into the house. "Hi there," he said to the two of them. "How'd it go last night?"
Noah turned around to face him and shrugged with a smile. "It went alright."
"Good," Luke responded. It had been Noah's first whole night with their daughter since back in February, when Noah had first been granted custody of the child. Little Samantha had grown quite close to Luke and Reid in the last two months. "Good," he repeated. "I'm glad."
Sammy began to whine and squirm, reaching out for Luke.
"Not that she didn't miss you, though," Noah said with a small smile.
Luke took her in his arms. "Hi, Sweetheart. I missed you, too," he said. "Not that it wasn't nice to have some time alone with Reid," he continued. Looking over his shoulder, he added, "Thank you for that, by the way."
Noah appeared a bit uncomfortable, but nodded. "Sure," he said. "She is my daughter, after all." After a moment's silence, he went on. "She did cry some, but after a while she calmed down, and..."
"And what?" Luke Asked, carrying her over to sit on the floor with him.
Noah followed them. "Well, it was like she wanted you, but after a while she realized it was okay. Does that make sense?"
Luke thought about and nodded. "Yeah, it does." He smiled at his ex and went on. "She's been spending more time with you these last couple weeks, and learning to trust you."
Noah was quiet for a minute, and Luke could tell that Noah was obviously thinking about something, but he didn't ask what it was, and instead simply focused on Sammy.
"Luke?" Noah asked.
"Hmm?" Luke answered.
"How would you feel about..." he began, and then hesitated.
Luke wondered where this was going. "About what?" he asked.
"About being Sammy's father," Noah finished his question. "Her legal father," he clarified.
Luke looked at Noah, not much surprised by the question. "Do you not want to be her father, Noah?"
Noah opened his mouth and closed it again, seeming unsure of what to say. Luke resisted the urge to talk for Noah. His ex needed to figure out whether he was going to parent this little girl or not.
Noah saw that Luke was waiting for answer. "I'm terrified," he said. "A part of me wants to do this - but I am scared, so scared I'll turn out like my dad in the parenting department."
Luke understood Noah's fears; but he also needed to know if Noah would step up and do what needed doing where Sammy was concerned. "What would you have done, Noah, if your cousin had named only you as Sammy's guardian? Or what would you have done if I wasn't around?" he asked.
"You mean if you had died?" Noah asked. "Don't say that, Luke."
"Just answer me, Noah." Luke said.
Noah's brow furrowed and he thought about it. "I don't think I would have kept her," he finally said.
"You would have put her in the foster care system?" Luke asked.
"Honestly, Luke," Noah began. "The only reason I accepted her was because I was so sure that once you knew she was ours, you would..." he left the rest unsaid.
"I would take you back," Luke finished.
"Look, I was obviously wrong," Noah said. "But that's how I saw things in February. Now, though..." he again hesitated.
"Now?" Luke questioned.
"Now, if you weren't here - in her life," Noah began.
"Would you walk away from her?" Luke interjected.
Noah exhaled and shook his head. "No, I wouldn't," he said. "But Luke, that's irrelevant."
"How?" asked Luke.
"Because you are here. She has a father, Luke, and it's not me," Noah stated emphatically. "She's starting to trust me, but she doesn't love me."
"She will, in time Noah," Luke said.
"Will she?" Noah asked. "Or will I always just be the babysitter?"
"You wouldn't be if you raised her on your own, became her father in every sense of the word," Luke said. "I could step out of the picture altogether."
"That's not what you want, Luke," Noah said. "You love her - I can see that."
"I do," Luke agreed. "But that's not what's important."
"It's not?" Noah asked.
"Noah, she needs a family," Luke said. "She needs to know who her parents are - whether that's me, or you, or both of us. And so, we need to decide. Will you keep legal guardianship - and in that case, I'll back away - or will you give her to me...or will we figure out a way to do this together?"
"I don't think my doing this alone is a good idea, Luke; like I said, she doesn't really trust me. I'd still like you to consider my question - will you become her legal father?"
Luke sighed, his arms going around Samantha as she snuggled up in his lap.
"Just think about it, okay Luke?" Noah asked.
Luke silently nodded, then asked, "You'd just...give her up...walk away...not be involved at all?"
"I don't now, Luke," he answered. "I honestly don't know. I want to spend more time with her - getting to know her, letting her get to know me - I never really considered becoming a father except when you and I were together...and I think I always pictured you as the more hands-on parent."
"I wouldn't hate it, you're right," Luke said, referring to being Sammy's sole guardian. "I just don't...well, I just don't want you to walk away from this...from this relationship with her, just because I am...well, I'm more naturally nurturing?"
Noah looked at him sagely.
"You have a lot to offer her, Noah," Luke said. "As her father.
They both agreed to think about it and Noah left for his place.
That Evening...
"And this comes as a surprise to you why?" Reid asked.
Luke turned in his spot on the couch, and made brief eye-contact with Reid before pulling Reid's arm more closely around his shoulder and snuggling up next to him again. The lights were low and they were facing the big window, looking out at the evening sky.
"No, it doesn't surprise me," Luke said. "Noah is the master of walking away."
Reid lifted his hand and rested at the beck of Luke's neck, ran it over his short blond hair.
"I just..." Luke began again. "I don't know, I hoped this would be different, you know? She's his daughter."
Reid sighed and nodded...and hummed.
"What?" Luke asked, turning in Reid's arms to look at him.
"Hmm?" Reid said. "Well no, I was just thinking, if Noah did sign over Sammy's custody to you..." he nodded again, seeming to perk up.
Reid was actually beginning to smile.
"Yes? If he did?" Luke asked. "What?"
"Well, it would be you, and me, and Sammy..." he said, grinning. "Noah wouldn't have any reason to be around."
"Reid," Luke scolded, playfully slapping his thigh.
"What?" Reid asked, mock-offended. "I mean around us."
Luke laughed. "That's true."
Reid was silent.
Luke looked at him.
"And I'd like that," Reid said.
"Me too," Luke said. "I have to admit."
"You've got nothing to feel bad about, not wanting that selfish jackass around," Reid said.
"I do feel bad, sort of," Luke said. "But it would be nice not having him here all the time, trying to be my friend, trying to be more than that."
Reid gave him a look that clearly showed how he felt about Noah's attempts to get closer to Luke - he wasn't jealous or threatened, but he hated it. It annoyed and angered him, because of the long history of Noah hurting Luke, over and over. He wanted Noah out of Luke's life. He loved Sammy, but hated the way she tied Luke to Noah.
"I think he's starting to get it," Luke said.
"Get what?" Reid asked. "Who? Noah?"
"Yeah," Luke answered. "I think he's starting to get it, that he and I are never going to get back together again."
Reid looked doubtful.
"I know," Luke said. "But today...and the other night...he seemed different, less eager, more subdued...like it finally sunk in...I don't know exactly, just something seemed more...well, less fake-sweet, the way he gets when he's trying to win me over."
Reid gave him another look. "No comment."
"I know, you don't need to hear me talk about Noah, and I'd love to not talk about him," Luke said. "I'm just saying, if we have to deal with him - as parents - I think it might be a little less awful than we thought."
"Oh! Well, that just makes my day," Reid said, dripping with sarcasm.
"Alright, alright," Luke said, slapping his thigh again. And then he laughed, and Reid pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head.
They sat quietly together, simply enjoying the feeling of their arms around each other, Luke's back against Reid's chest, their hearts beating together. Their life together.
"So, did you make your decision?" Reid asked. He was looking at Luke's open laptop on the coffee table.
Luke smiled. "Yeah, I think I did." He sat up and picked up his computer, placing it on his lap. Moving the mouse, the screen came to life again, and he turned it so Reid could see it more clearly. "Do you think those weeks will work? Is two weeks too long? Maybe I should do just the one..."
"Is this your first choice?" Reid asked.
Luke nodded, feeling giddy again.
"Have you talked to your folks? Are they able to help out?"
"Yeah," Luke answered. "They're so excited about more time with her."
"Well, I say go for it."
"Yeah?" Luke asked, smiling at Reid.
Reid kissed him. "Oh yeah. The way your eyes light up." Reid kissed Luke again. "I love seeing you this happy."
Luke pulled him in for another kiss. "Thank you," he said.
"For what?" Reid asked.
"For lots," Luke answered. "For the Christmas gift, for your encouragement...for being you," he said. "For loving me."
"Well, that's easy," Reid said with confidence, pulling Luke on top of him for another kiss.
next part/