Birthday Wishes
I've become fairly fierce in guarding the sanctity of my birthdays. But then, so are others in my biological family, so I don't feel particularly guilty about this behaviour. Since I've been alive, I'm the only person in my immediate family to have had it erased off the calendar in favour of others' priorities. Just off the top of my head I know there are at least three times this has happened, and I'm confident that I'd find more such incidences if I actually searched my memories.
Just as an example, the reason I drove from Toronto to Vancouver in just four days was because it was extremely important for me to spend my birthday with loved ones instead of alone travelling on the open road. That drive was hell, but the exhaustion was worth the celebration that followed.
There are people here in Vancouver who are beautiful inside and out, who wish to share my birthday with me. They love me, care for me, and respect me for who I am (as opposed to who they think I "should" be), and they *show* it in ways that have nothing to do with guilt trips, nagging, criticizing, berating, abusing, nor belittling. They encourage me to do what I need to do for me, then they help and support me with whatever *I* decide that may be. They encourage me to be myself, and have never dictated nor pressured me about what "myself" should be like. They've certainly never even suggested that I should hide my true self from anyone. These folks want to celebrate with me the day I'll turn 45 years old, not inconsiderately shove that occasion aside as if only a sappy fool would possibly care about such trite, sentimental bullshit. (Perhaps I am a sappy fool, and if so, I'm quite fine with that.)
I want to spend my birthday with the people who demonstrate almost daily with their actions that they love, care for, and respect me, not with those who merely say that they do and then leave it to me to fabricate a fiction that transmogrifies their actual actions (or lack thereof) into something approaching their claims.
I am spending my birthday at home in Vancouver with the fellas I love. That's where I belong on that day and on the succeeding weekend. That's what's right for me. That's what's right for us. And even if it's not right for anyone else on this planet, this year I am going to do it *my* way.
Just as an example, the reason I drove from Toronto to Vancouver in just four days was because it was extremely important for me to spend my birthday with loved ones instead of alone travelling on the open road. That drive was hell, but the exhaustion was worth the celebration that followed.
There are people here in Vancouver who are beautiful inside and out, who wish to share my birthday with me. They love me, care for me, and respect me for who I am (as opposed to who they think I "should" be), and they *show* it in ways that have nothing to do with guilt trips, nagging, criticizing, berating, abusing, nor belittling. They encourage me to do what I need to do for me, then they help and support me with whatever *I* decide that may be. They encourage me to be myself, and have never dictated nor pressured me about what "myself" should be like. They've certainly never even suggested that I should hide my true self from anyone. These folks want to celebrate with me the day I'll turn 45 years old, not inconsiderately shove that occasion aside as if only a sappy fool would possibly care about such trite, sentimental bullshit. (Perhaps I am a sappy fool, and if so, I'm quite fine with that.)
I want to spend my birthday with the people who demonstrate almost daily with their actions that they love, care for, and respect me, not with those who merely say that they do and then leave it to me to fabricate a fiction that transmogrifies their actual actions (or lack thereof) into something approaching their claims.
I am spending my birthday at home in Vancouver with the fellas I love. That's where I belong on that day and on the succeeding weekend. That's what's right for me. That's what's right for us. And even if it's not right for anyone else on this planet, this year I am going to do it *my* way.