Nothing better than a Dean icon
to speak about messed up. Even more appropriate when it comes to family mess (that and the fact I needed a Dean icon). And to honour the messiness, this post is gonna be one. To be honest, I'm also tired of trying to write this article and linear writing of the events is just impossible so I'm going full timey-wimey.
But before, I start, just a few points needed for the whole thing to be understandable. BD stands for bridesdudes, which I use to speak of both bridesmaids and groomsmen. I've already been using it but it came to me that it might not be clear if you're not fluent in Luospeak, and the term isn't as obvious as the French one.
Everyone mentionned by name are my cousins, can't really keep saying 'my cousin' when there is more than one. Except for Mamy and Marie, who're my oldest brother (the one living in Switzerland) and Marie, his betrothed. And Tatiana is the bride; her dad is one of my father's siblings, as is my godfather (the others live in Madagascar). And finally, Theo is how I'll call Tatiana's now-husband; really appropriate seeing how devoted he is to God.
And I think that's pretty much it. I think I'm just gonna write about the different subjects as they come to me.
My grandmother.
I've told you she was in stage 2. That's bullshit. Utterly complete bullshit. When Marie came home on friday, then again on saturday, I got her to explain me exactly what was going on (because everyone else are a bit confused and my grandmother herself doesn't make things easier, telling everyone things that won't happen). A bit of context, Marie is a doctor and scientist and although she had no obligation to do so, she spend a lot of time with my grandmother on wednesday and thursday, and got us things we wouldn't have got because she knows her way in an hospital. Also, because of her knowledge, she's basically the one everyone turns to. Anyway, Marie clarified things and my grandmother is receiving palliative care right now because it's a terminal stage cancer. So, she's got something in her pelvic area, her bones are infected too and there's also something in her liver (not very developped yet though) and apparently also in her lungs (doesn't help that she smoked until 2002). Plus her diabetes, well, it's not looking very bright for her.
I've talked with my cousins and all of us pretty much agree on that and we're prepared. To be honest, we think that the faster things will go, the better it'll be for everyone. My grandmother herself spends her time either in pain or delirious because of the morphine (and they will give her even more starting this week) and the rest, if we (the grandchildren) are fine, I can't say the same for my father, godfather and Tatiana's dad. I don't see my uncles on a daily basis, but I see my father everyday and I also know he deals badly when close people are sick and not of a disease that'll go away with medication. No but really, last time it happened was with my mother and that put an end to their marriage.
Now, he's in denial; he knows my grandmother's gonna die but deludes himself in thinking she can be saved, that she's gonna make a miraculous recovery if she wants to. Marie explained the cancer must have been there for at least a couple years, but basically, my grandmother kept going on sheer will while her body was slowly eating itself away. Until last month when there were problems with the family side in Madagascar and well. Triggered the fall into being able to take care of herself to being bedridden and unable to walk, cut her own food or go to the toilets.
On another note, she's also driving Marie and the medical personal crazy by being completely uncooperative, lying and just being plain awful. And she directly told Marie "I'm here to give the orders and you're here to obey", and hum, no? And it really annoys me that my father is trying to justify that behavior (seems like nasty temper runs deep in the family XD) when it's not okay, even if it's his mother. It's not okay to pout at the medical personal if they don't ploy to her every whim, then lie to us about that making it seems like she's being mistreated when it's not true. Or being an arse to Marie when she's got no obligation to do all that she's done and she's trying her best to help her because she's doing that for my brother.
Gasy Time Sense
and the 2 hours late for your own wedding XD Personally, I'm not offended or anything like that, I'm more amused than anything else (plus I'm also concerned by that XD). So basically, don't be surprised if a Malagasy is late, it's pretty normal. Like when we organize events and tell people to come at 7pm, we know we won't see anybody until 8pm. And Tatiana's dad is the worst offender. But back to the marriage, bridesdude were supposed to be there at a quarter past ten (the wedding being scheduled at half past eleven). Messy organisation on our part: I woke up at half past eight but Marie and Mamy were using the bathroom. My father couldn't take me to the church because he had to drive my mother, Marie and Mamy to the hospital. And my uncle arrived at a quarter past ten so, well, I arrived at the church at 11 XD Wasn't alone though, some BD arrived at the same time.
Theo was already here though. Now, Theo isn't gasy. He's half-french, a quarter-chinese and a quarter-vietnamese so, his family was clearly not prepared to deal with gasy time sense. And they really didn't appreciate it. So BD were hanging around in the entrance waiting for Tatiana while every guests were already seating. Around half past twelve we're getting a bit concerned because no news from Tatiana at all and our stomaches were beginning to be a bit agitated (the food was just in front of us, like teasing us to death but since we've got manners, we didn't touch it... yet). And some a quarter minutes later, Missa comes to tell us Tatiana hasn't left her home yet (meaning we'd to wait at least another 45 minutes until she arrived) and well, Theo's family was really unhappy, as were some BD. Well, except for Mana (the only other BD from my family), and the two friends of her not met through church (one in middle or high school and the other at the uni). The four of us were mainly being amused, feeling a bit sad for Theo's family and I have to admit, mostly "omg, we won't be able to eat until 3pm, at the very least, nooooo" XD
Fortunately, at one point, we spotted an old lady eating some of the bread and she caught us looking at her insistently. And she told us it was okay if we took some bread and pâté as long as we were discreet. No need to say we indulge in XD Like we wouldn't when there was an-hour-and-an-half mass scheduled.
That's pretty much it, Tatiana was 2 hours late at her own wedding. I didn't hear her apologize but I hope she did because Theo's family was outraged. And well, that's when the schedule for the whole day pretty much went to oblivion.
Gods, that's one long article and I'm not finished. So I'm gonna stop right now and get back to it later. Plus, trackpad is being an ass again, ugh.
But before, I start, just a few points needed for the whole thing to be understandable. BD stands for bridesdudes, which I use to speak of both bridesmaids and groomsmen. I've already been using it but it came to me that it might not be clear if you're not fluent in Luospeak, and the term isn't as obvious as the French one.
Everyone mentionned by name are my cousins, can't really keep saying 'my cousin' when there is more than one. Except for Mamy and Marie, who're my oldest brother (the one living in Switzerland) and Marie, his betrothed. And Tatiana is the bride; her dad is one of my father's siblings, as is my godfather (the others live in Madagascar). And finally, Theo is how I'll call Tatiana's now-husband; really appropriate seeing how devoted he is to God.
And I think that's pretty much it. I think I'm just gonna write about the different subjects as they come to me.
My grandmother.
I've told you she was in stage 2. That's bullshit. Utterly complete bullshit. When Marie came home on friday, then again on saturday, I got her to explain me exactly what was going on (because everyone else are a bit confused and my grandmother herself doesn't make things easier, telling everyone things that won't happen). A bit of context, Marie is a doctor and scientist and although she had no obligation to do so, she spend a lot of time with my grandmother on wednesday and thursday, and got us things we wouldn't have got because she knows her way in an hospital. Also, because of her knowledge, she's basically the one everyone turns to. Anyway, Marie clarified things and my grandmother is receiving palliative care right now because it's a terminal stage cancer. So, she's got something in her pelvic area, her bones are infected too and there's also something in her liver (not very developped yet though) and apparently also in her lungs (doesn't help that she smoked until 2002). Plus her diabetes, well, it's not looking very bright for her.
I've talked with my cousins and all of us pretty much agree on that and we're prepared. To be honest, we think that the faster things will go, the better it'll be for everyone. My grandmother herself spends her time either in pain or delirious because of the morphine (and they will give her even more starting this week) and the rest, if we (the grandchildren) are fine, I can't say the same for my father, godfather and Tatiana's dad. I don't see my uncles on a daily basis, but I see my father everyday and I also know he deals badly when close people are sick and not of a disease that'll go away with medication. No but really, last time it happened was with my mother and that put an end to their marriage.
Now, he's in denial; he knows my grandmother's gonna die but deludes himself in thinking she can be saved, that she's gonna make a miraculous recovery if she wants to. Marie explained the cancer must have been there for at least a couple years, but basically, my grandmother kept going on sheer will while her body was slowly eating itself away. Until last month when there were problems with the family side in Madagascar and well. Triggered the fall into being able to take care of herself to being bedridden and unable to walk, cut her own food or go to the toilets.
On another note, she's also driving Marie and the medical personal crazy by being completely uncooperative, lying and just being plain awful. And she directly told Marie "I'm here to give the orders and you're here to obey", and hum, no? And it really annoys me that my father is trying to justify that behavior (seems like nasty temper runs deep in the family XD) when it's not okay, even if it's his mother. It's not okay to pout at the medical personal if they don't ploy to her every whim, then lie to us about that making it seems like she's being mistreated when it's not true. Or being an arse to Marie when she's got no obligation to do all that she's done and she's trying her best to help her because she's doing that for my brother.
Gasy Time Sense
and the 2 hours late for your own wedding XD Personally, I'm not offended or anything like that, I'm more amused than anything else (plus I'm also concerned by that XD). So basically, don't be surprised if a Malagasy is late, it's pretty normal. Like when we organize events and tell people to come at 7pm, we know we won't see anybody until 8pm. And Tatiana's dad is the worst offender. But back to the marriage, bridesdude were supposed to be there at a quarter past ten (the wedding being scheduled at half past eleven). Messy organisation on our part: I woke up at half past eight but Marie and Mamy were using the bathroom. My father couldn't take me to the church because he had to drive my mother, Marie and Mamy to the hospital. And my uncle arrived at a quarter past ten so, well, I arrived at the church at 11 XD Wasn't alone though, some BD arrived at the same time.
Theo was already here though. Now, Theo isn't gasy. He's half-french, a quarter-chinese and a quarter-vietnamese so, his family was clearly not prepared to deal with gasy time sense. And they really didn't appreciate it. So BD were hanging around in the entrance waiting for Tatiana while every guests were already seating. Around half past twelve we're getting a bit concerned because no news from Tatiana at all and our stomaches were beginning to be a bit agitated (the food was just in front of us, like teasing us to death but since we've got manners, we didn't touch it... yet). And some a quarter minutes later, Missa comes to tell us Tatiana hasn't left her home yet (meaning we'd to wait at least another 45 minutes until she arrived) and well, Theo's family was really unhappy, as were some BD. Well, except for Mana (the only other BD from my family), and the two friends of her not met through church (one in middle or high school and the other at the uni). The four of us were mainly being amused, feeling a bit sad for Theo's family and I have to admit, mostly "omg, we won't be able to eat until 3pm, at the very least, nooooo" XD
Fortunately, at one point, we spotted an old lady eating some of the bread and she caught us looking at her insistently. And she told us it was okay if we took some bread and pâté as long as we were discreet. No need to say we indulge in XD Like we wouldn't when there was an-hour-and-an-half mass scheduled.
That's pretty much it, Tatiana was 2 hours late at her own wedding. I didn't hear her apologize but I hope she did because Theo's family was outraged. And well, that's when the schedule for the whole day pretty much went to oblivion.
Gods, that's one long article and I'm not finished. So I'm gonna stop right now and get back to it later. Plus, trackpad is being an ass again, ugh.